Updates, Rugrats, and The Usual Fun – Hook Style!

Before we get to the latest in “hospitality happenings”, its time for an update or two people…


The Hook’s latest plot to infiltrate the world’s consciousness has borne fruit; my first column for Bullet News Niagara hit the ‘net last Friday! You can read it here. Officially titled, What The Bellman Saw, its the same old Hook, just in a different package!


Here’s where we stand with The Bellman Chronicles..

  • The front and back covers are complete; only a minor polishing remains to be done.
  • I have signed off on the first 14 pages of douchebag-filled goodness!
  • A few administrative/technical details remain, but the finished product can be released while those issues are ironed out – thankfully!
  • I have begun to formulate a plan of attack to ensure my first foray into the print world is a prosperous one; I simply have to remember this is a marathon, not a sprint!


Never trust a man who sends his son to do his dirty work.

Those are words to live by, kids. Especially if you happen to be a bellman. We’ve seen a lot of this lately; guests who think their children were released from the womb wearing servant’s uniforms invisible to the naked eye. There are several reasons why a child simply isn’t a suitable choice to interact with service workers.

Here are but a few…

  •  They tend to slip into “gibberish mode” at the worst time. “Bell Desk. How may I help you?” The following response, “Agghh! Pbbbt!” is not conducive to a quick and efficient transaction.
  • You can never be certain a child is a fully-recognized agent of the “parent company”. Do you know how many times I’ve heard, “I didn’t ask little Timmy to get a bellman! We just wanted a rolly thing! Yeah, I actually used “little Timmy! Deal with it!
  • Children that are sent down to the lobby tend to forget their room number by the time they arrive at my desk! It’s as simple as that. Between the continuous loop of Nickelodeon shows and the ongoing formulation of the best way to sneak downstairs on Christmas Eve, the little booger eaters just don’t have any spare room in their noggins! Queries like “We’ll send a bellman right up; which room are you in?” tend to illicit a blank stare – that just goes on and on….

As you have no doubt surmised, I recently had the pleasure of serving a father who felt nine-year-old his son was capable of journeying to the lobby on his own at the height of check-out time.

Yes… and no.

The rugrat in question did indeed arrive at the Bell Desk safely, but he forgot the room number and he had a difficult time convincing the Valet Desk attendant that he was the owner of a 2011 Honda Odyssey! Needless to say the parents of said rugrat were a delight to serve. …


Niagara Falls Comic-Con 2012

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

85 Responses to Updates, Rugrats, and The Usual Fun – Hook Style!

  1. The Hobbler says:

    Never a dull moment…

  2. The Hobbler says:

    Your column is awesome. I’m so happy for you and your girls…not the hookers, your wife and daughter.

  3. Congrats on your progress!

  4. mizqui says:

    Congrats on “bullet news”! )))HUGS((( I did stop by & I enjoyed you yet again. A good mind… You were to be paper pressed. God speed on your literal journeys.

  5. tadams4u says:

    I get this. People send in their kids to get ice cream and are shocked when they order big ole scoops with like double or triple, sprinkled cones etc… Guess you should have went in then… LOL

  6. Wonderful my dear Hook – I’m back from reading your first foray into the ‘Internet News’….
    No witty comments from me; no inyourendoes, hmmmm (well, maybe just one!).
    I loved it Hook; I’m still smiling….
    Good luck with ‘it’; with your book, and with ‘life’ my friend….
    You deserve it… 😉

  7. ~mimo~ says:

    Congrats 🙂

  8. Ink Pastries says:

    Again, we are kinda in the same place. I got the proof of my book in the mail and it looks good except for a few minor changes and I did it all myself, except for some editing help….even the cover which looks good (even others have said so). Yayy for the both of us!!! And congrats on your new column. Soon you’ll have the choice of not being a bellman, eh?

  9. Lily says:

    That’s awesome that’s you’ve written a book! I’m so proud of you! I’m always one of those people who forgets their room number!

  10. zannyro says:

    I wish I could be in your lobby and be a secret observer of all of this insanity…guess I’ll just have to wait for the book…go hook go!

  11. Congrats Hook….what an incredibly lovely journey you have begin..A book by Hook yay 🙂
    as for the lobby thing…what an exciting life 😉

  12. Woman says:

    WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!! This is a grand post!!! It’s all good news!!!!!

    Your column has audio thingie!!!! Very bad!!! Because of life behind The Wall, the page loads oddly. There is no way for me to turn off the audio before it loads properly!!! But I am off!!! Your page is finally loaded!!!

  13. Fiona says:

    Enjoyed your column as much as I enjoy your blog, and looking forward to your book – great news 🙂

  14. susielindau says:

    Fabulous article Hook! Soon your avatar will be up there with the other columnists! Congratulations!

  15. Jeannie says:

    Congratulations on both counts–your column and the book progress! Loved the column and can’t wait to read the book. I’ve already started a waiting line…xoxoxo Best to you my friend!

  16. Michael says:

    I wish my newspaper had columns like yours. Congrats! Can’t wait till your book comes out!

  17. There’s a very easy solution to this problem. Forehead stickers. Just pass them out with the room keys so parents can place them in a visible spot on their little slaves, I meant children….

  18. jennygoth666 says:

    been over and had a look telented man but we all knew that xjen

  19. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress says:

    sweet! Congrats on being recognized

  20. itsmymuse says:

    Congratulations on the column, great start to the series.

  21. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Doing the happy dance for ya! Two requests…. please post when the paper publishes another writing – which that one was GREAT! Excellent intro to who you are and what you’ll be writing about. And secondly, which I’m sure you will do, please let us know when the book is done and how we may order a copy.

    Thanks, Hook! Keep on bell-hopping… or whatever it’s called.

  22. Congrats on your elevation (?) to journalist! WEll done! And yeah, my kids would do exactly that – well actually they’d refuse to be sent down on their own cause they KNOW they’re totally incompetent.

  23. iamnotshe says:

    Hook, the Journalist. Wow, that’s something … else? Novelist … Humanity expert … provider of laughs! BOOYA!!

  24. twindaddy says:

    Congrats on being published!

  25. congrats on your progress and wish you all the best… and success 😛

  26. Cheers! You’ve hit the big time and without a doubt, you’re bound to be big hit there,too. If not, spread the word and we’ll put a hit out on whomever…(no one messes with our blogger stars!)

  27. Okay, I figured out how to post your article on my facebook page, but never did find the ‘like’ button for the article only the one for the paper. As always, love your work! I’m excited to see your book. Great logo, too!

  28. Simon says:

    Congratulations to you good sir, Rock On!

  29. aFrankAngle says:

    First column in the books. Has the parade of people seeking you started? I can see a weekly TV feature on the local news in your future.

  30. Jo Bryant says:

    Before you know it your ansering maching will pop a fuse with all the messages from people wanting you Hook…get your kids to answer it…hehehehe

  31. Jo Bryant says:


  32. La La says:

    just went and checked it out. congrats! that’s exciting.

  33. meredith says:

    I can’t WAIT to buy your book. 🙂 I imagine lots of guffawing.

  34. Best of luck in your marathon.. we’ll be cheering at the finish line!!

  35. The Guat says:

    I read this post in the a.m. but couldn’t leave a “how-awesome-was-your-post” message because my rugrats were running and crawling around. 🙂 So just wanted to say that I completely agree with you on parents sending kids for their dirty work especially when they know they’re gonna forget the room number. They forget which shoe goes on which foot, how can you expect them to handle hotel business. 🙂

  36. ljr3 says:

    Congrats on your recognition as a writer! I’m sure your book will be a success!

  37. Pingback: More Sunday Morning Shenanigans With the Hook! | You've Been Hooked!

  38. Pingback: Anatomy of a Bell Call…. | You've Been Hooked!

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