Yes, I know the title’s cheesy; just cut me some slack, I’m exhausted!
My day began at 7 A.M., Saturday April 14 but truly at 9:30 when I entered the convention hall for this year’s Wizard World and ended when I rolled back into the driveway of Hook HQ at 8:07 P.M! But before that I made some keen observations about celebrities, my fellow fanboys, my own family and my best friend and his own family.
NOTHING COMPARES TO CONVENTION REUNIONS.
I haven’t seen my best friend Jack, in years and believe me, it’s been too long. He’s been living in Toronto and time flies when you’re busy working, raising a family, etc.
But with true friends time means nothing, and you rekindle old bonds immediately. Jack never ceases to amaze me; every time I lost sight of him in the crowd and I figured all hope was lost, I’d hear his voice behind me and realize I was hanging out with a true ninja! We met up with his lovely wife and two-year-old son at the end of the day and I have to admit it was surreal to think back to our high school days while looking at the modern-day versions of our lives; families and all!
You know you’re getting old when you start getting washed away by waves of nostalgia on a regular basis…
SPEAKING OF FAMILIES…
My own family held up well under the pressure of crushing crowds, blaring music and truly oddball creatures like this…
The highlight of VampireLover’s day was crossing paths with her darling Stefan Salvatore, “that cute vampire”. Unfortunately, she soon realized actors, even those who portray the Undead, are only human….
“He won’t even look at the crowd or even wave for a minute! And his bodyguard wouldn’t even let a couple with a stroller ride on the same elevator! Who does he think he is?” That was my daughter’s honest reaction to seeing Paul Wesley’s behavior as he made his way past a winding lineup of fans. We were anxiously awaiting to gain entry to the Being Human panel when Stefan sauntered by in full “rock star mode” – his Alice Cooper lookalike bodyguard even shoved a unsuspecting fan out of the way to clear a path for his celebrity charge!
Gaining access to the hotel adjoined to the Metro Toronto Convention Centre requires one to walk right past “Room A” – the centre of numerous panels and of course, numerous fans – and so a number of stars crossed our path within that hour.
Some were not so cool with the notion of interacting with fans for free – celebrities at these ‘cons charge for their time – while others were very cool indeed!
FAT, SWEATY FANBOY: Mr. Bakula, could I get a picture?
SCOTT BAKULA: Sure, but make it quick! Things are going to turn ugly soon!
You see? Some stars get it. Mr. Bakula charged for autographs but he was willing to wave at the gathered crowd and just be a cool guy. But you know who isn’t cool – at all? Jeri Ryan, formerly – very much so – of Star Trek: Voyager. Check out her prices, directly from the Wizard World website…
Amy Acker Autograph | CA$40.00 | |
Colin Ferguson Autograph | CA$40.00 | |
Jeri Ryan Autograph | CA$70.00 | |
Paul Wesley Autograph | CA$40.00 | |
Scott Bakula Autograph | CA$75.00 | |
Sean Maher Autograph | CA$40.00 | |
WWE® Superstar Edge® Autograph | CA$40.00 |
Yes, I know Bakula charged a ridiculous amount as well…. but at least he was cool! Jeri Ryan should have let her fans cop a feel for $70!
I REFUSE TO USE A CLASSY PIC! SHE CHARGES $70 FOR AN AUTOGRAPH!
As for the Being Human panel, it was incredible! The show – an American version of a UK production, but filmed in Canada (!) – relies on dark humor and the cast does the same. My daughter couldn’t stop laughing for the entire forty-five minutes! For that, I am truly grateful.
And that, my friends is why millions of people flock to these ‘cons; not to spend their hard-earned dough for a scrap of paper with a scrawled signature or a glossy pic, but to simply escape their humdrum lives and have some good, old-fashioned fun.
While dressed as a dork.
BACK TO BUSINESS…
Here’s a snippet of the usual fare…
This week has been quiet and uneventful for the most part, with one glaring exception…
Corporate groups – straight from depths of the Underworld. We’ve had them all this week…
- A major fast food chain. Pizza, to be exact.
- A junk removal chain. They had tons of their own crap! You’d think they’d be organized…
- Multimedia “experts”.
- Duct cleaning.
- Bottled water.
They come here to do Satan’s bidding, under the guise of “corporate team building”, of course. It’s a great buzz-term, isn’t it? “Corporate team-building”, what a crock.
All theses corporate drones in cheap suits are building are walls between themselves and the rest of humanity. Most of them anyway; the truly humble and decent are few and far between – at least they were this week.
CORPORATE DRONE: I’m with – NAME WITHHELD SO I’M NOT SUED – and I need own cart!
My colleague and I simply adopted the “deer caught in headlights” look for a moment and then I went onto explain the hotel’s protocol. The drone’s reaction was, not surprisingly, typical.
CD: Uh, well… that’s all right. I’ll be fine.
Buddy, you’re not even in the same solar system as fine, but whatever floats your cheap-ass boat, I guess. A few minutes passed, and I took a walk outside to see the drone and his lovely – and very petite – lady friend unload armfuls of crap from his company truck.
Funny thing, his girlfriend didn’t look too proud to be hooked up with such a loser…
AND FINALLY…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!
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That is a lot of money, heck, I’d go to look, but to get autographs, nope, glad you had a cool time.
Me too!
I needed the “douchebag-free day”!
I have to say Stefan “WAS” my favourite vampire but after his very cold behaviour yesterday he has dropped to last place in my books. He wouldn’t even look at his fans as he passed by. When he wouldn’t let that couple in the elevator with the baby – that just turned alot of people off. VERY COLD AND FULL OF HIMSELF!!! I think we will have to make Damon number one now….Sorry Hook!!! LOL!!!
Ahhhhhhhh…I knew you’d come over to the right side eventually VL…Ian Somerhalder is so much more…well everything than “Stefan”…all the work he does for charity and with young people. The world is right again…hehehe
It would have pained me to say this a few months ago but not now….YOU’RE RIGHT!!!
Stefan (Paul) literally rubbed shoulders with my daughter as we passed in the hallway and never even looked at her. He just kept walking and chewing his gum as if we were not even there. (Just in his own little world) What would it have hurt to give her a little eye contact, maybe a smile, or even just say hello in passing? Very self-centered. Not a fan of Paul Wesley any longer.
Do they really get so far into themselves that they can’t remember what being a fan is like? Surely there must be people they are fans of…at least Hook has you to keep him grounded when the book takes off. Just tell him I’ll be watching for any signs of doing a Stefan (hey I might turn that into a saying I think). 😉
I forgive you… this time!
Ha Ha Ha!!!
I’ve always been able to make you laugh, right?
Even deliberately sometimes!
That is a lot of money for a photograph but you had to suspect she would either charge a price with a seven or a nine in the number!
Good one!
Baed on the pic for Jeri…I was thinking 69.
Great line! I wish I thought of it!
I can’t believe they charge for autographs. That is ridiculous, but if people are willing to pay….I wonder what I could get for one of mine….Hmmmm…A hand cramp!
I’d pay for yours, Susie!
Except… I’m broke!
You would? Awwwww!
Really? I wouldn’t spend one damn cent for any of those pious prick’s illegible scribble.
What the hell has this earth come to!? Paying for an autograph? Jesus help us.
Yeah, and for $70 Imma need a weekend with her. And she’ll have to bring me breakfast in bead.
For shame hook… I’ve been a really bad hit and miss follower lately. We all get busy, you know.
You don’t have to tell me!
I’m the original fair-weather friend!
That actually sounds like a lot of fun! I need to become more of a fan so I can go next time!
I think you’d find some great material there…
Wild and wacky fun! Totally great you went and didn’t pay those stupid prices to obnoxious celebs believing their own press (or maybe they think they appear more valuable if distant and rude)
Oh, “team building”: a smart way for a company to make money off another company willing to spend money. Always reminds me of that emperor’s new clothes story.
Rock on Hook.
You do the same, my longtime friend!
Are you kidding me? Charging for autographs? Next time I’m asked to sign a charge card slip I think I’ll give ’em an invoice…
Let’s do some corporate team building for you, Hook.
Hook! Hook! He’s our man
Roll up the douchebags
Throw ’em in the can!
Team Hook!
Team Hook? I love the sound of that!
What happened to the days of being grateful to their fans for putting them there in the first place. i was watching ‘Paul’ last night…I bet Graeme Willy and Clive Gollings didn’t ask their fans for $70.00 for an autograph…
😉
Probably not…
Wizard World sounds AWESOME!!! What a Wiz kid you are Mr. Hook! ))HUGS(( Thanks for the insight, cool pics and autograph price lay out. So “Seven of Nine” should have let her fans cop a feel for $70 – huh? (-; Perhaps her one signature is good for the other 6 that came before her AND the 2 that came after her. You think? LOL!
Anything is possible, I guess!
I can’t believe they charge for autographs. I guess they need to make a living somehow these days.
That’s one argument..
But what about the economic state of their fans?
Ah Jeri… that’s disappointing! Kinda like those trashy pics though, thanks, Hook!
I thought you might…
Ahhh… I’ve missed your blog darling Mister The Hook!!! I am thrilled that The Hook Family enjoyed your time in Toronto at this shindig!!!
I’m no celebrity by a long shot, but I do get my fair bit of attention here in small town China. I can totally “get” the whole “just let me be” thing of celebrities… just not when they are being paid to attend a gathering like this. They are paid to sell their image so should stuff up their personal thoughts and feelings, and act like they are enjoying themselves even if they are not.
Anywho…. glad to hear you had fun!!!!
I sure did! Thanks, Woman!
Good to hear from you, Woman!
The Hook and Vampire Lover17, Your daughter is precious! I love kids for that reason, they call ’em like they see ’em. I have never been to a Con bfore but Indy hosts Gen Con so I may have to try that this year. Entertaining as always, tel baby Hook not every one is like that!
We’ll try…
Corporate team building—- not sure those words can be put together.
I think you’re right, Derek!
Sorry….
omg how egotistical to charge so much for a freakin’ signature! they’re not gods…
Tell them that!
Hola Hook,
First things first, let it be known I will/would never pay for anybody’s autograph–don’t care who they are. Secondly-waiting in line for that, really? Don’t think so.
About the usual fare…I want to know what is wrong with people these days? Crazy world we live in.
I guess it always has been!
We simply talk about the world’s craziness more these days…
Agreed; but I also think we are getting crazier!
Very much so, I’d say!
OMG they charge for autographs….and here i thought we were doing them favour by giving them the attention without which they will die…
you are right about the casting spell but not on you but on these leeches..wait i have some cursed bubbles left in my couldron tell me when….
Go for it!
That’s seriously a ton of cash of an autograph! Wow. I wouldn’t waste my money on that!
I don’t blame you, Jennifer!
I’m glad Bakula was cool. I don’t think I could handle it if it turned out that Sam Beckett was a jerk…
That makes two of us…
Helps set the price for a Hookagraph —- which would have been a great way to end this post.
You’re right! Maybe next time I write about a convention…
Once your book becomes a bestseller, these Greedy Gretchens will be paying for YOUR autograph! Good grief, didn’t they make tons of $$ already from their TV runs and movies?!
Some of them haven’t been on TV for years!
Late to the party Hook. Had a weekend with DAD, not NEARLY as much fun as you seemed to have at your event (at least with Jack). Go*, those snarky “stars”. I’m a BIG fan of Bakula, but BITE ME hard!!! $75.00 for a freakin’ scrawl. You should be able to pinch a cute butt for $70.00 fer shur… course i’m talking about you and the chick, not you and Bakula, but i digress.
Mutants. How can they be so cold to fans. Unbelievable. Who’s buttering their bread?
Oh, and the dronette …maybe that poor, petite woman was a secretary to the Corporate BORE Drone. Have mercy on Hook. Please 🙂 Did you get Bakula’s autograph? I mean, does he stick his hand out like a Hooker and ask for cash first. Sh**!
Sadly, my upcoming book has consumed most – if not all – of my “disposable income”! And I’m pretty sure the dronette was a girlfriend – and a foolish one at that!
Delighted that you had a good time, all that bonding and memory lane traveling, way cool…….but take a look at this ( http://www.etsy.com/listing/39430046/vampire-queens-bra?ref=correlated_featured ) When I saw it I thought of VampireLover…not in a personal way, but somehow the way you describe her I would hope she has this in her wardrobe already, well maybe not, but it sure is fun isn’t? possibly not as fun as comic con, but fun never the less
You’re always thinking of others, aren’t you Sherrie?
One word: Motorboat.
Two cents: I agree that it’s pretty craptastic to charge for an autograph, but I have to wonder what the going price is for a Jeri Ryan autographed photo on eBay. From the celebrity’s point of view, if they just give away their ink, the enterprising (pun intended) fan just makes more of a profit.
I have a lovely postcard of Jean Luc Picard on which, some years ago, I wrote “To my REAL #1, thanks for all the help…” and then “Patrick Stewart” in a hasty scrawl. I used a Sharpie. Then I stuck it to my wall at home and prided myself on telling a different lie to each person who asked about it. Yes, I am a bad person.
“One word: Motorboat.”
Hilarious!
Great postcard story!
I think I have a new life goal… To one day be famous enough I can charge for autographs (and have people willing to pay!) Thanks for the laugh!!!
You’re welcome! And the best part?
The laugh was FREE!
Exactly!
Great wig…!!! Great shindig….!!! Jack sounds great, as does his wife and child… Reading between those lines Hook… you wouldn’t have missed it for all the signatures in fameworld…. 😉
Definitely not!
Sorry, Mr.Hook. I’ve been diverted of late. Glad to see you’re still mixing it though. $$ for autographs ? Hell’s Bells, what won’t they sell ?
Celebrities have NO LIMITS!
Or shame, it seems…
Money for autographs? What’s next? They’ll probably even charge for waving at the crowd.
If they could get away with it…
If Jeri Ryan was only 7/9, I wonder what a 9/9 would charge?
Great question!
Oh no, I get it. She charges extra for her forehead.
Good one! I would never have realized that on my own!
For a Borg, Ms. Ryan has adapted well to capitalist society.
Too well, I’d say…
Also: I leave the internet for awhile and you are writing a book!?! Bravo, Mr. Hook!
Thanks! I’m in for the fight of my life though; selling the blasted thing is going to be a challenge!
Yeah, it isn’t easy, but few things worth having in life are. Best of luck!
Thanks, Aaron! I’ll need it!
Money for an autograph… makes me kind of sick. On the other hand, I love the concept of your blog. Very cool indeed. Oh, and if you become famous, I expect to have your autograph for free ;).
It’s a deal, young lady!
What the hell? Charging for autographs.Duuuude. Not cool. But at least you ran into a couple good people and you had fun 😉
Definitely! It was red-letter day all around!
Charging money? For an autograph? That’s crappy. Without “fans” you’re nobody, duh?! I think I need to get that blue outfit though… as soon as I do 673,421,918 more crunches….
Ha, Ha! Very nice!
Super tolle Bilder sehr erotisch auch gefällt mir was du geschrieben hast. Grüsse dich Herzlich und wünsche dir einen schönen Abend Gislinde.
And a nice evening to you as well, my friend! Glad you liked the shots!
$$$ for autographs. This is a sign of a down hill career.
Unfortunately, they all do it!
For real? They charge for autographs? People, its just paper and a little ink. Now all those listings on Ebay make sense. How many buy just to sell again? That’s as bad if not worse…
Very true. The whole cycle sucks!
i have only ever attended one convention and that was around 1991, but all of the celebrities were very friendly. autographs were free, everyone allowed you to take pictures and would talk to you like they knew you. i was invited back to some celebrities hotel rooms to talk more or to have multiple items autographed. also had drinks at the hotel bar with them. and two celebrities came back to my hotel room to hang out after drinks at the hotel bar. what a difference 20 years makes.
Wow! That’s unheard of now unless you’re a twenty-something prostitute! Or you have several bags of coke!
Oh dear!…. you’ve burst my bubble!…. I used to love 7 of 9!……:)
Sorry, Andy, but she’s a greedy little devil…
To Hook: did you dress like a dork too? To Vampirelover: team Damon all the way!
I wore a superhero t-shirt -Green Lantern – but that’s as far as I go!
I have to save all my money for travel, books, and movies…oh and food. Can’t forget food. That is an extreme amount for autographs…but I guess they do because they can. But is doesn’t mean that they should.
You’ve hit the nail on the head, my friend!
Wow, that’s a lot of money just for an autograph -_-
Absolutely!