It’s March Break! The Hook MUST Be Busy, Right?

Wrong.

So, so wrong.

 I have found myself afflicted with a case of the “more-of-the-sames”, a terminal one at that. Between hordes of young adults – in the loosest sense of the word – and modern-day nuclear families, the crowd has been stingy and ungrateful.

This sometimes feels like an Age of Darkness for the hotel biz, folks.

To say the least. Some of the more noteworthy examples of “March Break Madness!” I’ve already witnessed include…

•  A petite, elderly woman melting down when presented with an extra-large wheelchair. “What the fire truck is this? You think I’m 400 pounds? Never mind the fact that extra-large was very comfortable, not to mention the only one available; she was livid! Her husband even joined in! On the plus side, it’s rare to see spousal solidarity these days…

• A middle-aged couple – hosebags, both – disagreeing on the most effective way to reduce their seven-year-old to tears while trudging through the lobby dragging their luggage behind them. Dad wanted to scream at the poor little bugger, causing him to wet himself out of fear, while Mom felt brow beating him would leave psychological scars that would last well into adulthood. It’s tough to say which approach was responsible, but the results were identical; the little guy released fluid from his eyelids – and below his waist – without missing a single step.
• A young “couple” – his name was “John”, hers was whatever he wanted it to be – who went out of their way to display an air of respectability. He wandered around the lobby searching for change – for a five-dollar bill – while she sat on a bench, her back poised straight as an arrow. You’d naturally assume poor posture would be a given for someone who punishes her spine (Among other things!) on a nightly basis, but this young lady could have taught a beauty pageant contestant a thing or two! Unfortunately, the illusion faded once she stood up and her thigh-high boots and shorter-than-short skirt came into view…

 There you have it folks, a cross-generational example of the real-life Gong Show that my life has become. Of course, none of these folks actually bothered me so I can’t really complain.

 I’ll save the criticism for the folks that did inflict some damage upon my all-too fragile psyche…

•  My first call of the day was so simple it was scary; three guests, three bags… Three dollars. I said it was simple, not monetarily rewarding.

• I lost the coin toss and “won” my second call; an entire family of George McFlys! Seriously, these folks meant well – I think – but they smiled as they handed me fifteen bags, grinned as I struggled to load said bags into the ‘mini-van from Hell”, and finally, they waved as I staggered away empty-handed.

I could go on, but I’m pretty sure that would simply induce the aneurysm that has been slowly forming in my addled brain for years now…

Let’s wrap this up with an oldie – by now, at least – but a goodie, shall we?

ON A PERSONAL NOTE…

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!