Family Day is the third Monday of February and observed as a public (or statutory) holiday in the three Canadian provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Ontario. (Manitoba celebrates Louis Riel Day and it’s Islander Day in Prince Edward Island.)
In 2012, Family Day falls on Monday, February 20.
Do you know what else falls on Family Day?
The Hook’s hopes of making any money, that’s what. My sanity is also threatened, but what else is new?
Family Day is a “manufactured holiday”, which means some burnt-out civil servant decided to screw with the natural order and create a day for families to “bond”. Sounds great – in theory. In reality, Family Day unfolds like this…
- The fires were still smoldering from Sunday morning check-outs when the horde started to arrive, ready for action!
- The deck was an absolute NIGHTMARE, with cars parked any which way – order quickly gives way to chaos on Family Day – and guests screaming for the attention of overwhelmed doormen and valet drivers.
- Some guests just give up and walk away; their vehicles then become a nuisance for hours.
- The Front Desk line quickly ballooned from four to forty! Our plan to assuage people’s growing frustrations? Cases of warm bottled water. Monogrammed, of course, so people know just who to blame. I rarely criticize my place of business, but we were smokin’ something harmful to cognizant thought when we devised that plan….
And my role in this little drama?
I was the poor bastard who had to weave his cart in and out the bloodthirsty crowd gathered in the lobby with all the skill of Mario Andretti – but none of the glory! Of course, I’m not in this business for the glory… I’m in it for the cold hard cash. And while my pockets were heavy when I clocked out for the day, I had to work twice as hard as should have!
Based solely on the sheer volume of calls and the size of each cart, I should have walked away from Family Day with $200 in my wallet. The ultimate irony of this day is as follows..
- 25% of our check-ins were groups of young, horny, soon-to-be-blitzed college kids of both genders.
- Virtually ever family I observed was coming apart at the seams. So much for “family bonding”, right?
- I didn’t see my own family until 7 P.M. that night, and they certainly didn’t get my “A Game”!
I’d say “God bless Family Day, but His mighty hand was not evident in this “holiday”.
No sooner had I clicked “Save Draft” on this “literary masterpiece”, than I was called a way by duty. I was making my way back inside when I noticed a young Asian woman, mid-30s, running her fingers across the hood of her boyfriend’s car; her face a series of puzzled looks as she rubbed her fingers together.
THE HOOK: It’s frost, miss!
CLUELESS ASIAN: Frost?
Her face became a mixture of anger and confusion. Seriously, she was mad!
CA: Frost? You’re serious?
THE HOOK: Normally, no, but I am now! It’s February, miss… in Canada! Every car on this deck has frost on it!
I left her standing there, bewildered by Mother Nature’s handiwork… and her own stupidity.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!