As you can see, I still haven’t mastered the art of the title!
A lot of people – including my fellow employees – think bellmen make mega-bucks.
I’m afraid not.
While we have our good days, the road is not paved with gold flakes; far from it. Don’t get me wrong, while I make more than my friends in Housekeeping – who literally have to clean up people’s garbage – I’m not swimming in American dollars. Here’s a brief look at a typical winter day for The Hook.
A fat guy, his three ugly kids and his goofy wife! Need I say more?
TIP: $2 American.
A young couple. Clueless, but nice. They meant well, which I suppose counts for something. Nothing too out of the ordinary – for once!
TIP: $4.65 Canadian.
And these were nice people, remember! Unfortunately, good intentions are not an accepted form of currency at my local financial institution.
More young people. A rapper-wannabe and his prostitute-wannabe concubine! I suppose I can understand why a young lady would want to appear “whore-like” in public – it does drive young, already-horny guys even wilder – but why do white guys feel compelled to emulate a group of people who would smoke them in an instant if they could?
What’s wrong with young people today? And when did I start asking “old man” questions?
But I have a tip for them…
HOOK’S TRAVEL TIPS: If you plan on stiffing the bellman… don’t ask for him for directions after doing so! You may not like where you wind up….
More rude, messy, horny young people (Who is raising these douchebags?) and their shoes and paper bags. Oh, and alcohol, can’t forget the booze, can we?
TIP: A BIG FAT ZERO!
A poker tournament brought my next guest to my doorstep. Gamblers are either “AWESOME!” or “TERRIBLE!”. They tend to have a lot of computer equipment, as this guy did. He was an exception in other ways, though; quiet, clean and a middle-of-the-road tipper.
TIP: $7 Canadian.
Older Asians with a minor mastery of English are usually quite friendly – and grateful! These folks were typical and they made me smile. What more could I ask?
TIP: $5 Canadian.
How does my day look so far?
Another gambler with a PC – they must be for online components of these tournaments – and a quiet demeanor. At least the rude couples were leaving me alone.
Pardon my French, but this guy was an asshole who thought he was a superstar! He kept calling me boss, he treated his “weekend girlfriend” with no dignity whatsoever, and he drove in the wrong direction when he pulled his car up.
A real winner in every way.
TIP: Do you even have to ask?
So that was my day! And in case you’re wondering, I still haven’t taken up drinking or recreational drugs! But I’m still young..ish, there’s still time….
ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!