There is just no other logical explanation.
Why else would he keep sending his most flawed creations my way? Allow me to explain…
Saturday mornings are busy all year round, but not for the bellmen; we find ourselves sidelined by the ever-growing number of cheap buggers who fill our hotels during the winter months. And so it was that I sat alone at my station as hundreds of clueless travelers passed by. However, one thing we actually do all-year round is take in storage bags – tons of them, in fact – and sometimes those simple transactions yield big results.
This young couple decided to make my week. He was..
- A young metro sexual Asian with delusions of Western “coolness”.
- Uncomfortable in his own skin.
- Completely out of his league.
She was…
- Definitely not Asian; she was Italian enough to put Meadow Soprano to shame!
- Well-dressed: Lululemon top, Coach purse, etc.
- Flipping long, lustrous raven hair with wild abandon!
- Sporting jeans so tight a Kardashian would be envious.
They decided to rifle through their belongings before storing their bags – as guests often do – and this proved to be an error in judgment, to say the least. I stood by, silently observing his nervous jig as his too-hot-for-him girlfriend opened her bag, exposing…
- Two lacy tan bras.
- More overpriced clothing.
- One LARGE vibrator.
She glanced up to see two male mouths just hanging open like cartoon characters! She flashed a “Yeah, I’m on vacation with my boyfriend and I brought a dildo! So what?” and continued her labors. But he couldn’t let the matter rest.
EMBARRASSED ASIAN: (Stammering) You know girls..
As per my nature, a direct answer was the only way to go…
THE HOOK: Just be grateful she brought you at all, sir!
Can you please tell me if my comment is caught by akismet and sent to the spam folder?
At first, yes, but not anymore – fortunately!
Thanks. Sorry for ruining the comments on this post. I still have the problems on other blogs that don’t follow me. any idea how to fix it? think i commented too much a couple of days :). and please do delete all of my comments on this post 🙂
Every comment is worth keeping, my friend! Don’t worry about your problem; bloggers should always check their spam folders…
What else could you say! Still chuckling…
Most people wouldn’t say anything… but I’m not most people!
oops. never mind. delete the comments 🙂 been having problems. my comments won’t show up on other blogs
The internet can be a frustrating place sometimes, right?
I wasn’t expecting a vibrator story when I read the words “God loves The Hook!”
Priceless to be sure! Traveling with sex toys is always exciting!
I agree! Especially when you cross my path!
Your response scores a 10!
Very cool to hear! Thanks!
Hilarious! A classic tale.
The modern-day female is priceless!
Hah omg great response! Comic gold right there!
Gold? Thanks, Lily!
God and vibrators – what a combo…
Interesting, right Jo?
This post just made my night! Love it!
That warms my heart, young lady!
Hahaha! Great response. Loved it.
One of my personal best!
Quick witted and hilarious as always! I usually think of comments about an hour later 🙂 lol
I do that too – sometimes!
Wait – so what was his reaction to your comment?
He just looked off into the distance and waited for his sexually-liberated girlfriend to finish up…
Ohhhh… I love hearing stories like this!!! Used to know a whole whack of baggage handlers and boy oh boy the stories they’d tell me over drinks. Not to to mention the customs men and women who randomly inspected baggage!!!!!
Ahhh Mister The Hook!!! Are you telling me I’ve got to make sure that I write more about various toys so you could have told us what kind she had??? LOL!!!!
It takes time to be an expert, Woman! And I never want to be an expert in dildos!
Brought along a pinch hitter, huh?
She sure did!
lol, the entertainment continues lol.
It never ends…
Things are looking up!
I suppose so – for someone!
😆 Oh good Lord how embarrassing. And doesn’t help the stereotype of As…never mind
I know where you were going…
Hilarious!
Glad someone said it haha.
I’ll always be the guy who says things like that!
God bless the overachievers!
Hear, hear!
I am not sure why, and am afraid it will be suggestive in a way I don’t mean to be at all, because I am taken. But for some reason want to tell you your blog reminds me of this song:
I don’t really know why, but I kind of relate to you, you seem kind of like me, in a different way to be sure, but in a way. I want to see you be more free.
Freedom rocks, doesn’t it? Thank you for the praise – all of it!
” A young metro sexual Asian with delusions of Western “coolness”.
Uncomfortable in his own skin.
Completely out of his league”…
Oh, Which one was her dildo again? I forgot…
They both were!
Hahaha! That is pure brilliance! I bet that left a rather embarrassed boyfriend!
It certainly did…
That response was brilliance at its best! You have begun my day with a huge smile!
Thank you Hook!
You’re welcome, you little minx, you!
LOL…I would have stood there frozen.
A lot of people would have!
Bwahahahahahahaha! Perfect conclusion, as it were! 😉
Glad you liked it, Deborah!
Haha !
http://www.amiarting.wordpress.com
Glad you enjoyed this one, young lady!
Some of her kicks must come from others seeing her sex toys. If this is the case, you’re an accomplice—more proof of God’s intervention? It may also mean that God’s female. 😉
You may be on to something there, August…
Damn! That lady has guts. From your description i’m wondering what the HOT babe sees in the nerdy dude? You never know Hook. xoxo cheerio
That’s true; who can say what brings people together?
LOVE IT !!! Those moments have to be the ones that make the job worth it 😛
They certainly do!
Perfect response!
I hit the bullseye sometimes!
Hilarious!!!
Thanks, Gillian!
Hysterical, still grinning from ear to ear… I was already planning my response with.. God loves the Hook and so do we! but now I think it should be “God loves the Hook, and so does she!!” I’m with August.. you were meant to see that!! Be careful of any room requests!!
I always am…
Thanks for the visit, young lady!
LOL! i just found your blog, and what a gem of a post! Brilliant!
Thank you! I strike gold sometimes!
Fabulous!!
Ha!
Titter.
I know, pretty cool, right?
hahaha, that is epic. Can’t say I blame the girl!
You naughty little minx!
HA! This is just what I needed to read to have a good laugh after a crappy day. Classic Mr. Hook! 😉
Glad I could I could brighten your day!
A well-prepared woman I guess; came prepared with Plan B, just in case!
Did you respond before getting the tip or after?
Unfortunately, people rarely tips when they drop off their bags for storage! This situation was simply a well-deserved bonus!
I Love the Hook too 🙂
OMG .Sorry Sorry my friend! I thought your a Bat girl name Jackie lol,
Sorry if I mistaken for your identity can you clear it to me ,If you don`t mind
Will still friends, right? 🙂
We’ll always be friends, Jake!
And he loves you too, Jake! In an Alpha male way, of course!
That was the perfect remark! & I’m guessing he was a metro-sexual [RICH] Asian !
More than likely!
So funny I had to read it to my husband. He didn’t laugh as much as I did. Tee hee!
He should have! You rock!
Great line Hook.
Thanks, Tim!
Haha great post! That must have been kind of awkward, lol. 🙂
Moreso for him!
Wow, I think the Hook is hooking a lot of people. It took me five minutes to scroll through the comments. I think God loves the hook because you make him laugh. He probably needs a break with all the bad in the world. He most likely says to himself, “Hmmmm….. let’s see……. who can I send over to the hook this morning so I can have a chuckle.” I just heard either booming thunder, or very loud laughter outside.
Thank you for the praise, Patrick! I’ve been to your site, but my comments won’t process for some reason! I’ll try again soon.
So it was all revealled in an instance…
I guess the boyfriend was just too inadequate
but hey… his girlfriend didn’t give a vibe about
it so who cares? I hope that she tipped you
very well Hook, no I mean after they left 🙂 lol
I wonder if his Blow-Up-Dolly
kept the poor guy any happier? lol
Androgoth
I don’t even want to think about what this poor bastard does to get through the night!
Man, you’re sharp. I wouldn’t cross swords you. 🙂
You’re far from dull, yourself!
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! ::wiping tears of laughter from face::
You crazy dog!
Just the perfect comment to the boyfriend – a kindness, obviously. Hilarious as usual
Thanks! I’ve had some trouble leaving comments on your site, but I’ll try again soon!
Zing! That poor guy…
He needs to sack up and tell his young lady to keep the toys better hidden or better yet, leave them at home!
Oh my. The things you see in that position must be little gifts. 🙂
They are! Precious, crazy gifts!
I am laughing so hard here!!!
First I am imagining myself…(Raven colored long hair waving as I shake my head) Blue jeans and a tee shirt with furry slippers…hey I am at home LOL I don’t own skinny jeans, if I could get into them they would need more than a Kardasian “jean peel” to remove them :O
Love the story!
Love the comment!
Kickass reaction! Man, I’d like to be a guest where you work! Must be awesome to have such a bellman.
I’m not sure everyone feels that way…
Yeah, but maybe more than you’d think. I’ve had a great bellman quite literally turn a terrible trip into, at least, something quite tolerable. In a completely non-sexual sense… that is.
All this talk of dildos is making me edgy 😉
Dude. You crack me up! Just be grateful she brought you at all! I’m sure with that gig you’ve got plenty of writing material…awesome 😉
I sure do! I just always worry I’ll forget the details before I transfer them to my posts!
I certainly do! Thanks for joining the party!
Great response.
Everyone seems to approve! I don’t think my young couple did, however…
Oh, snap!
Well said, my friend!
So funny Hook. I’m always impressed by your responses to your crazy guests. Always polite but smart alec enough to be funny and still get a tip (hopefully).
That’s me!
You’ve done it again, Hook. Made my day and made me laugh until I choked on my coffee.
Sorry about that! I don’t want any of my readers to wind up in the ER!
And, could you please explain to me why when I got my bags up to my room the thing was missing?????? Next time I’m going to hide it in a tube sock.
That could work…
Ooops… I bet you do see alot of interesting things!! I always wonder why certain people are attracted to each other…
We all wonder that!
I’m speechless O.O
I don’t blame you!
Very funny Hook, and dare I say… pointed!
Very nice, Val! I loved it!
That sounds like it would have made a great video or photo.
Absolutely! Too bad I can’t carry a video device of some sort…
We all love The Hook – except those who gets hammered by him. And they probably don’t even know. Once again I had a great laugh. Man, maybe he was nothing but jealous of the dildo? Would indeed have loved to see his face.
It was priceless…
That’s hilarious! You never know what you’re gonna see when working around people…
Every day is an adventure…
This one definitely beats my post on soft, squirrel porn!!
That was still a classic!
You nailed it. Oh my goodness…what don’t you see?
Not too much…
Excellent response.
Just one of those rare “genius” moments!
Hilarious!
Thanks!
Yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a bad decision great post! .
-` ☼´-𝓛𝓞𝓥𝓔-` ☼´-𝓛𝓞𝓥𝓔-` ☼´-
– 𝓖𝓞𝓞𝓓 𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓝𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝓕𝓡𝓘𝓔𝓝𝓓𝓢-` ☼´-
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