How Am I Supposed To Sit At My Desk With This Knife In My Back?

Okay, this one is a little different, folks.

Sure, some things are exactly the same as always…

  • The guest in question was highly dysfunctional – to say the least!
  • This guy requires a team of psychologists to work on his problems!
  • Unrealistic expectations were the norm in this case.

But here’s the kicker: I didn’t actually deal directly with this guest. But I think you’ll agree – especially those of you who really know me – that was actually a blessing in disguise! 

Front Desk receives their fair share of unusual requests; come with the territory, right? This guy wanted a bellman to come to his room and pack his bags! Seriously.

Apparently this gentleman had a slew of similar requests over the course of his stay, but my schedule kept me out of his line of fire. Needless to say, I was both intrigued and confused when I heard of his desire to transform a bellman into a butler. Some properties offer such services, certainly, but not ours.

Had he been willing to pay handsomely he would have had a personal servant, no questions asked. However, this guy was apparently disconnected from reality when it came to the various levels/classes of the modern hospitality industry.

To say the least.


When I first wrote this post – in the morning – I hadn’t dealt with this guest so I had no real perspective to offer. That’s changed. He came by our desk requesting a bellman – his bags were already packed at this time – but his tone was adversarial.

UNREALISTIC GUEST: The Valet guys are mad at me. Apparently they don’t like it when you drive the wrong way on the one-way deck!

I steered clear of the controversy and simply listened as he gave me a set of precise instructions.

  • Go to the room.
  • Use my key to enter and retrieve the bags piled behind the door.
  • Hold the bags downstairs for an hour.

That was it. A very simple plan that should have gone without a hitch.

But sometimes Fate hates my guts and loves to screw with me.

This gentleman may have been difficult and demanding but he tipped his check-in bellman $20, so who cares? When I’m staring a t a $20 tipper they have no past, only a present involving The Hook receiving his own twenty-dollar bill to love, hold and cherish – for a little while.

But again, Fate hates me sometimes.

I returned to my base of operations and was informed “Upper Management” had had enough of this guy and so my instructions were to place the bags in his trunk and have the car reparked.  My protests – which I’ll explain in a minute – fell on very deaf ears. I accept that my superiors have their own considerations; I am content to be but a lowly cog in the machine.

However, cogs still have to eat. 


 If I’m not present when the guest retrieves his car, I will not receive a gratuity!!! The guest will not leave a tip for me. He will drive off without hesitiation. Why would he care about the poor hapless bastard who loaded his bags in the trunk?

Sure enough, that’s precisely what happened. He drove off, taking my tip with him. Said tip, by the way, would have amounted to exactly half my day’s take!

For more than one reason I spent my entire day being screwed over by the very people who are supposed to have my back. On a normal day, I’ll encounter a problem or two but the memory fades when I get home to my loving family.

Not this day.

I spent the entire night contemplating a change of employment. An unfortunate circumstance, considering VampireLover and I had a “date night”. I walked around our local casino – lost in my rage and frustration –  as she played the slots. A perfectly good day was shot to hell for no reason at all, but that’s life, right? The pendelum swings both ways, after all.

Until next time gentle readers, take care of yourselves, especailly at work. Believe me, no one else will.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

98 Responses to How Am I Supposed To Sit At My Desk With This Knife In My Back?

  1. Sorry, man. Hopefully next time they appreciate your insights– or maybe you will become management?

  2. Can’t think of an upside for that one.

  3. Bad day, bad management, and on date night too (had those issues myself, although i was left at home, dressed up with nowhere to go..) is it too weird to send virtual hugs your way…?

  4. susielindau says:

    What a bummer. You should do a post on alternative careers. You could write about any job and make it funny and interesting!

  5. kewsmith says:

    Makes you want to scream and not just inside your head.

  6. Gillian Colbert says:

    Sorry … that sucks. Management always takes a stand on the back of the line.

  7. twindaddy says:

    Unfortunately for you, upper management worries about their bottom line, and not yours. It’s all about number one.

  8. Little Miss says:

    Fate may be kinder to you next time, building up your good karma 🙂 x

  9. sexuallifeofawife says:

    That is soooo unfair! (Great post to read though!)

  10. Such nasty words …”upper management” ! Only one thing worse: I had a friend that worked at an Inn where they were expeccted to “share” tips – for precisely this kind of situation. The only problem with that is lazier workers catch on to the fact they get a cut no matter how little they contribute. (She was looking for a new job within a month.) Hang in there !

  11. Woman says:

    Other than the slots, how did date night go???

  12. Fiona says:

    It takes a lot for you to lose your sense of humour, and yes, this sucks. Hope things get better.

  13. littlesundog says:

    It may have been the day… some little black clouds floating around here too!

  14. iamnotshe says:

    Mr. H, you could write a book about “HOW MANY WAYS TO GET SCREWED OUT OF A GOOD TIP”, or a TIP for that matter. Dang! Hope you’re not a black belt or own weapons!

  15. gkinnard says:

    Timing: sometime it rewards, sometimes it just sucks!

  16. Hook,
    Sorry to hear about your bad day at work especially on date night, that really sucks; but I am sure better days are ahead.

  17. Jo Bryant says:

    Wow – and wow – the day is at least behind you – and truthfully – other than that i don’t know what else to say to this one…except we all love you out here !!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Michael says:

    Ouch. That sucks. and that guy seems a few sparkles short of a vampire, so to speak. Hope things get better…

  19. Damn, it gets better eventually man.

  20. I’ve heard so many nasty stories of “upper management” it makes me sick that they don’t appreciate a good “bloke” who’s doing his best for the company and just trying to get ahead!

  21. mairedubhtx says:

    Such an unfair thing to happen, to guarantee that you will not get a tip. No wonder you feel stabbed in the back. My heart goes out to you.

  22. dinkerson says:

    What a frustrating event. That last line is great advice, Hook. I have been a firm believer, for quite some time now, in watching one’s own back. I think that you’re right when you say, “No one else will”.

  23. Perhaps a brief browse of better paid positions and services is in order? One of two things could happen: a) you could find something more opportunistic or better paying or b) you might be able to leverage what you find from other companies with your current managers.

    There are most certainly other options and I will not claim to know them all. But those are the two I would consider, were I you and not me. Better luck, my friend. Keep your head up.

  24. Raven of Leyla says:

    Some days are diamonds, some days are rust…rotting rust!

  25. Androgoth says:

    Don’t worry Hook I am sending the Zombies round…


  26. Apparently the Fates had protected you all day until the end…..what if he had been a crazy guy who was so irritated he revealed himself as a serial killer and stuffed you in the trunk and drove off into the desert…never to be heard from….oh, sorry…still glad you didn’t get unexpected confrontation with angry guest guy….better luck tomorrow.

  27. jakesprinter says:

    I love your Entry my friend
    and I love to invite you here

  28. This would get up my goat too… Irritated the hell out of me. If I was 16 again I’d have dipped the till and got back what I deserved 😉

  29. sonsothunder says:

    Sorry things are on a low swing of the pendulum right now Hook, but, you my friend are not just a Cog in any machine…wait… I hear a message coming from beyond…

  30. hotelnerd says:

    I wish I could say I never screwed over a bellman when I was a Front Desk Agent, but you’re a friend Hook and I wouldn’t want to lie to you. I had one bellman that could be such an annoying whiner that when I got in the habit of snapping at him we had to come to the agreement that he would pay me $1 just to be nice to him every day we worked together. It worked out quite well for me. I will say when he came to my going away party, I bought him multiple shots as a way of calling it even.

  31. Jeanne Heuer says:

    Another day in the life.

  32. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Hook, I’m totally sorry at this :(. I can’t believe that would have been half a day’s take though – surely not? Wow. That sounds very difficult to live on.

    I seriously don’t know how you deal with these guests though – you’re a champion.

    In Australia, we tip when we feel the service was exceptional, & it’s becoming more common to tip if you were merely happy with it! My son & my cousin visiting from Sydney and my two sisters went to a Chinese restaurant for Chinese New Year’s to have yum cha. I chucked in $5 at the end because it was a great vibe, great food, timely service – but that would probably be miserable in your standards, because your tips aren’t ABOVE your wage, they make up your wage. I am so, so going to remember this if ever I travel in America. My son dearly wants to go to America.

    I can’t imagine having a day when you don’t feel bubbly, helpful, just want to do your job & get home – you can’t risk it, can you. That’s why I call you a champion – so the song above is perfect.


  33. Bugger! I agree with the guy who says you should aim for upper management. If not as a career, then with a gun.

  34. timkeen40 says:

    They say behind every cloud there’s a silver lining. That’s a load of crap. This is saying coined by someone who needed just as much help from psychologists as your guest. Crappy day for you, but as always, a great read.


  35. sonsothunder says:

    I was browsing around and noticed your BlogSpot was precisely #555…so, I changed it to #1…Bless You
    Keep up the great work…and charge the Hotel Nerd $5.00 bucks per comment…Heh

  36. El Guapo says:

    Horrible story Hook.
    but our loved ones are there to remind us that we are treasured, even on our worst days.
    Next time, tell VampireLover the story and let her help you feel better!
    (Hey, it works for me!)

  37. TBM says:

    Fate can be so cruel!

  38. brittany220 says:

    Ah, sorry to hear that Hook! Hope things are looking up!

  39. The Guat says:

    Dude. “A $20 tipper has no past just present…” priceless 🙂 And yes…sometimes Fate does hate you, but don’t worry we’re all on her list.

  40. sonsothunder says:

    Hey…was working on a new song last night…what do you think? Be truthful now…


  41. Jeannie says:

    They don’t know what a gem they have. You are priceless. ❤

  42. pankajrohilla says:

    lived !

  43. pankajrohilla says:


  44. munchow says:

    You can’t seriously contemplating a change of employment? What about this blog then? And us Hook-junkies who need a bit of daily sarcasm? Stay at your post, my fiend! Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

  45. lorrelee1970 says:

    One day, you’ll write a book about all your experiences….become wealthy and give them their damn knife back.

  46. ConnieMaria says:

    Geez!!!! That just plain sucked! :/

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