People bring all kinds of things with them when they travel.
Over the years I’ve seen..
- A buck strapped to the top of a pick-up truck with a camper – parked outside the kitchen entrance of a Denny’s.
- Polished antlers. That was a fun call!
- Goldfish – the tank was in a cardboard box.
- What may or may not have been a human body stuffed into a hockey bag. Seriously.
This particular tale does not involve dismembered animals or possible homicides but it does culminate with primitive, animalistic behavior and acts some puritanical folks consider criminal.
When asked “Are you here for business or pleasure?” one particular blond – blessed with a tight butt and ridiculously ginormous fake boobs – offered a very original answer.
“I’m here for a porno shoot!”
So her trip was a combination of business and pleasure, I guess..
This girl even had a porno name! Obviously I can’t repeat it, but I kid you not, she was born to be some sort of sex worker. Her luggage consisted of…
- One suitcase.
- One set of construction-grade flood lights.
- Two boxes of sex toys that would make Woman blush!
In case you’re wondering, I would never normally peek at a guest’s personal effects but this chick’s box was wide open!
Wait, that didn’t sound right at all…
Then again, maybe it did.
Why couldn’t she have packed an outfit like this?
Truth is, people feel liberated on vacation and their behavior reflects that lack of inhibition.
- A cougar once made the following request of one of our security officers: “I want to pleasure you while my husband watches. Don’t worry, I’m prepared to pay you!”
- I once had to respond to a noise complaint in the middle of the night; I don’t know what this guy was doing to this girl, but he was doing it all wrong! His sexual style resulted in screams not normally associated with carnal activity. Amateurs.
- A malfunctioning smoke detector prompted the following phone call to the Front Desk, “Yeah, what’s goin’ on here? my lady and I are tryin’ to bust it!”
Fortunately, the philosophy of “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” doesn’t apply everywhere! Lucky for all of us, right?
In closing, since I’m already going to catch hell from VampireLover anyway, I might as well go for broke and stick to our theme while continuing to indulge the fanboy beneath the bellman/blogger exterior…
It’s 12:48 pm on Sunday and guess who I just served? The room was trashed – various empty boxes and wrappers littered the landscape – but the boxes were still pretty full. There was an empty tube of anal lube – it was full when she checked-in – on the bed and my young guest looked worse for the wear.
She was very confused but pleasant, not to mention courteous. She tipped me $4.65 for my efforts. I suspect she received much more for hers…