First off…
I was stiffed by a chick in a wheelchair. Seriously.
You’d think a person of limited mobility would be grateful for the assistance but sadly, that was not the case. She offered me no guidance in the placement of the bags or any small talk. Instead, she complained of a headache and so I handed her a bottle of water to wash down some aspirin.
My reward? Not even a “Thank you, maggot!”.
I wanted to block the door and yell, “FIRE!”
But of course I didn’t; instead I maintained my professional composure. It’s not as though I was asking her to run a marathon, I was merely expecting a little courtesy.
If you feel I’ve gone too far here, just remember… IT’S ALL ABOUT HUMOR, PEOPLE!!! If I can’t treat everyone the same, then why do so many strive for equality?
NEXT UP…
I’ve regaled you with many a tale of a crazy Sunday morning and the mad rush for the elevators. This particular Sunday was no different, but this particular Mom sure was.
She embarked on an elevator ride with her two kids that should have taken two minutes, but of course the car stopped at virtually every floor and filled up quickly. In her own words, “I lost it quickly and completely.”
I was in the middle of fulfilling a high roller’s request: “Help me bypass the crowd, will you kid? Get my bags down from the room quickly and I’ll take care of you.” But of course, my path put me in direct sight of “Hysterical Mom” and her shell-shocked rugrats.
HYSTERICAL MOM: Please sir, could you help me bring my bags to the Valet area? I’ve had a meltdown on the elevator and I don’t know how I’ll go on…
Obviously I couldn’t refuse a request from a lady, never mind a hysterical one! I loaded up her bags – she had a ton of them – and raced back to the lobby in record time. Seriously, she ate my dust! I dropped the bags off in the exact center of the room, raced back to the elevators and barely nodded as she gave me a bewildered look. She attempted a “Thank you” but I had no time for pleasantries. Besides, she was being tended to by another staffer, so she was fine – sort of.
Back on track, I arrived at my intended destination, collected my high roller’s bags – AND MY SIZABLE TIP – and explained my tardiness.
HIGH ROLLER: Oh yeah, I saw that lady downstairs. She was a mess! No problem, buddy. Especially if you can get me past that crazy mob crowding the elevators!
THE HOOK: You’re in good hands, sir!
We commandeered a service elevator…
ANOTHER TRAVEL TIP FROM THE HOOK:
When waiting for an elevator during a period of peak activity, be sure to hit both direction buttons. The elevator has to be moving in one of the two directions, right? If it’s empty, you can sometimes redirect it by simply selecting a floor. If not, at least you’re on the elevator, right? It’s better than standing there like an idiot!
Image via Wikipedia
BACK TO “HOOK AND THE HIGH ROLLER”!
So I got my new friend downstairs in a flash, loaded his truck and received a hearty handshake and a “ATTABOY!”. Not bad for a smart ass bellman, right?
As for Hysterical Mom, she didn’t have to be hospitalized so her tale had a happy ending after all. Not a dry one – she wouldn’t stop sobbing – but a happy one nonetheless.
That’s all for now folks, see you soon.
You've Been Hooked! 
I like to flip the elevator buttons so that up is down and down is up. Is that bad? 🙂
Nah, you’re allowed to be a little mischievous sometimes!
Wait – did High Roller give the good tip too, or just an attaboy?
Also, funny – treat everyone the same, but also go out of your way to help a lady in distress?
yeah, I would have too.
A good tip as well. Ain’t that great?
I’m confused was there tip in that hearty handshake?
Oh..and “eat my dust” hysterical! Haven’t heard that phrase in years. Must use it somehow on one of my posts! 🙂
Sandi
http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
Lake Forest, CA USA
P.S. That crying mom could have easily been me on one of our trips.
High Roller came through, don’t worry!
You would think people in wheelchairs would take all the help they can get, but I guess they like doing things themselves? If I was in a wheelchair, I would be incredibly lazy.
Seems like you saved the day! Nice work!
I have my moments, Lily!
LOL!! I hate it when someone does something nice for another person and they don’t receive the slightest “thank you” – not even a nod. I can’t count how many times I’ve held a door for someone, stepped aside for someone, reached something they were struggling to reach, and had them just walk away as if I were some kind of roving on-site servant. I know it’s not the same, but on behalf of all of us who wish we encountered wonderful, efficient, light-hearted bellmen/front desk people/salespeople/cashiers/etc. like you….THANK YOU. 🙂
You’re welcome!
I enjoy your ‘reads’ so much… Glad the High Roller saw your worth ‘and in dollars’ 😉
Me too!
Hook the rescue… as usual !! Damn, ungrateful folks!!
You said it!
I hope you got a big tip from that high-roller guy, it wasn’t clear in the post whether he did or not…Great post as always, Senor Hook! 😀
I made out all right, thanks!
Your first story reminds me of a commercial I can’t ever seem to find after my first few watchings. There’s a man in a wheelchair talking about how horrible it is women are stealing all the jobs from men, and have the right to vote, etc., and everyone just sits in silence because it’s important to be “sensitive.” I loved that commercial enough that I ought have saved the link, anticipating revisiting it someday!
You’ve made my day, Deborah!
You rock my Hook. Oh and I always push the up down buttons … City life… Too many elevators so little patience!
Well said!
Your story never fails to make me laugh. I admire your perseverance and patience. Of putting humor on situations that can ruin anyone’s day. Some people are clueless of their negative impact on others. You are an inspiration my friend.
That’s very humbling to hear. Thank you.
You make everything entertaining, Hook. Thanks for another fab installment.
You’re welcome, Lovely August!
When waiting with a crowd for an elevator in peak direction, I embark on to the off-peak bound elevator, grab the vantage position and turn back the other way at first available opportunity. My theory, I prefer the ride over the wait in the crowd. I like your attention towards little details and then translating them into an entertaining skit.
Thanks!
Were you the ping pong ball that day???
Apparently…
Got to say you have the most interesting job. I am still amazed by how well you can handle the rude, insane and the plain stupid. And I will say that someone should sit down with you and write a story based on you. That would be one heck of a read!
Let’s hope so; I’m writing a book right now!
How do you stay sane amongst all the insanity ??
Who says I’m sane?
Just wanted a confirmation
Happy to help out, Jo!
Ah, Mr. Hook, your stuff here will be of great help to guide me when we go on tour. My Mom has already sounded me off about tips , to the driver, hotel staff, tour guide, etc. I just hope we don’t come off as those Asian cheapos, lol. Well, we look Asian, even tho we’re Americans. Hmmm, just wondering…. are Americans bad tippers, generally ?
You’ll come off as a an Asian cutie! Trust me…
LOL… had a different experience with an elevator today. Had to drop by the hospital for a blood draw. Elevator door opens, it’s dim inside, guy steps out, “It’s dark in there.” “Yeah, looks like it,” as I step in, thinking a bulb is burnt out so it’ll just be dim. Push button, doors close. Pitch black with just the glow from button “4”. No biggie, rather happy for something different than the mundane elevator ride. Happened to take the same lift down, and apparently maintenance caught on as I had light on the down swing.
Yeah, mundane sucks! Thanks for the story.
Just so you know, I wasn’t that rude woman in the wheelchair. The rudist thing I might think of doing would be to hook my wheelchair to your cart so you could push us both…but I would definitely say thanks and tip well too. Sorry for the poor representation of us disabled people.
No problem – and no aopology necessary.
There is nothing like elevator humour. And nothing as irritating as waiting on the elevator that never shows up – push the button up or the button down – doesn’t matter. But at least I don’t do elevators for a living. Maybe you should have your own private elevator for those special guests? That would make a difference – maybe…
We’ve been asking for a private elevator for years!
In my experience, adult diaper vending machines should be standard fixtures in elevators.
Hilarious!
I’m the type that keeps hitting the elevator buttons in hopes that it will figure out that I am impatient. I also do this when I hit the crosswalk button…I just keep pressing. I have issues.
No problem! You’re not alone…
Sehr underhaltsam Hook Grüsse und wünsche dir ein gutes week-end Herzlicher Gruss Gislinde.
Always a pleasure to hear from you, young lady.
What a great job to have for telling stories.
Absolutely!
Some of the rudest people I have ever met are people who are disabled. Why this should be I don’t know. Some get mad if you hold the door for them. Some get mad if you ask if they need help. It’s a strange thing.
It is indeed!
I’m loving your stories man. Of course, I also like the way you think.
“If you feel I’ve gone too far here, just remember… IT’S ALL ABOUT HUMOR, PEOPLE!!! If I can’t treat everyone the same, then why do so many strive for equality?”
Than line was epic! Oh, and way to always do whatever you’ve got to do to accommodate people’s needs. I like a person who can think outside of the box in order to get things done.
I’m in a box marked “CRAZY”, so of course, I think outside of it!
Thanks for helping that lady in distress. Sane and quick – glad you’re back up to speed
Yeah, I’m a well-oiled luggage handling machine!
Well, at least I’ve never melted down in a lobby, that makes me feel better! Love your work!
Right back at you, Sherrie!
Poor lady a Meltdown in a Lobby, oh my. It’s is amazing you still have a sense of humor. Are you still sane? LOL
I don’t think I’m fit to answer that question…
I agree, definitely treat everyone the same my wicked friend, but you know there are ignorant and ungreateful peeps everywhere these days, even those that have limited mobility 😦 I guess rudeness is something that a lot of guests thrive on, and when a simple thank you, or just a small tip (Say… Fifty Dollars 🙂 ) would be all that was needed to give one some optimism… Bloody Creeps 😦
I wonder if ALL of those “Hysterical Mom” types act that way, or is just when the mood takes them? But as it was a happy ending (Apart from the Smile and the BIG Tip :() all was well in Guestland…
Thank you for sharing your days with us Hook and do treat yourself to a Catapult and some Frozen Chips Ammo, they make a wicked hobby, especially when sharing it with those grumpy guests 🙂 Ouch…
Androgoth
I’ll try that! Thanks, Dark Warrior!
People love when I press every button in the elevator.It always makes for a good time and I get to meet really interesting people. One time I even got a tip from doing it.
Very cool! Well done!
Good stuff!
You too, J!
Tell em to take the stairs…
Great post Hook. I see you’ve been playing with the header images a little to. Nice pic…
Oh, hehe…I think I just got Cindy’s post about the adult diaper dispenser.., the lady with the kids may have had a little MORE than a meltdown?.. Heh, if ya ask me Elevators should come with a stocked mini-bar and a barcalounger …I’d never reach my floor…
Bless You
paul
Great to hear from you, Paul!
I hope you got a tip with the attaboy!!!
I certainly did!
I know the lift journey was bad – but HW was meant to be in charge of two children! Were they freaked out by their mum’s tears? Maybe they’re used to it. I guess I could be being too harsh and this was a really bad day for her all round…
Glad you got a good tip!
A ‘made me laugh post’ as usual! Thank you!!!
Thanks for taking the time away from your sexual life to visit my little blog, young lady! Always a pleasure to hear from you!
Great entry my friend I love it 🙂
That’s great to hear, Jake!
I understand not everyone can tip, but there’s no excuse for treating people badly – especially people that help !
I agree – wholeheartedly!
Wow, you have some adventures Hook! Sounds like a good plot for a short film!
You might have something there…
You have the most interesting slice-of-life experiences.
Slice of Crazy on Toast is more like it!
A thank you is always appropriate! I’ve always thought any kind deed deserved a simple thank you. Where has etiquette gone? Shouldn’t it be in school curriculum?
Yes, it should!
It was a H day – Handicapped Nasty, Hysterical Mom and High Roller , oh, and the Hook.
“H Day”? I like it!
Great story!
I have a daughter that has to use a wheelchair often and if she didn’t give you a tip I give you permission to block the door and yell fire! I hope I raised her better than that. 🙂
I know you did!
There is SO much constant drama! It’s funny. You must hate those slow days you spoke of in the other post. I wonder how long your shifts are. ‘Mr W claims his name is hard to pronounce’ – you’re a scream. You’d be fun in real life, I’m sure.
My wife would disagree with you, but yeah, I think I can be a laugh riot!
Lol you are GOOD! another great post – thanks for the laugh!
You’re very welcome! Thanks for the visit and kind words! You’re a gifted blogger as well!
Thanks Hook 😀