A Tale Of Two Women…

First off…

I was stiffed by a chick in a wheelchair. Seriously.

You’d think a person of limited mobility would be grateful for the assistance but sadly, that was not the case. She offered me no guidance in the placement of the bags or any small talk. Instead, she complained of a headache and so I handed her a bottle of water to wash down some aspirin.

My reward? Not even a “Thank you, maggot!”.

I wanted to block the door and yell, “FIRE!”

But of course I didn’t; instead I maintained my professional composure. It’s not as though I was asking her to run a marathon, I was merely expecting a little courtesy.

If you feel I’ve gone too far here, just remember… IT’S ALL ABOUT HUMOR, PEOPLE!!! If I can’t treat everyone the same, then why do so many strive for equality?


I’ve regaled you with many a tale of a crazy Sunday morning and the mad rush for the elevators. This particular Sunday was no different, but this particular Mom sure was.

She embarked on an elevator ride with her two kids that should have taken two minutes, but of course the car stopped at virtually every floor and filled up quickly. In her own words, “I lost it quickly and completely.”

I was in the middle of fulfilling a high roller’s request: “Help me bypass the crowd, will you kid? Get my bags down from the room quickly and I’ll take care of you.” But of course, my path put me in direct sight of “Hysterical Mom” and her shell-shocked rugrats.

HYSTERICAL MOM: Please sir, could you help me bring my bags to the Valet area? I’ve had a meltdown on the elevator and I don’t know how I’ll go on… 

Obviously I couldn’t refuse a request from a lady, never mind a hysterical one! I loaded up her bags – she had a ton of them – and raced back to the lobby in record time. Seriously, she ate my dust! I dropped the bags off in the exact center of the room, raced back to the elevators and barely nodded as she gave me a bewildered look. She attempted a  “Thank you” but I had no time for pleasantries. Besides, she was being tended to by another staffer, so she was fine – sort of.

Back on track, I arrived at my intended destination, collected my high roller’s bags – AND MY SIZABLE TIP – and explained my tardiness.

HIGH ROLLER: Oh yeah, I saw that lady downstairs. She was a mess! No problem, buddy. Especially if you can get me past that crazy mob crowding the elevators!

THE HOOK: You’re in good hands, sir!

We commandeered a service elevator…


When waiting for an elevator during a period of peak activity, be sure to hit both direction buttons. The elevator has to be moving in one of the two directions, right? If it’s empty, you can sometimes redirect it by simply selecting a floor. If not, at least you’re on the elevator, right? It’s better than standing there like an idiot!

English: Elevator in the ICA Boston

Image via Wikipedia


So I got my new friend downstairs in a flash, loaded his truck and received a hearty handshake and a “ATTABOY!”. Not bad for a smart ass bellman, right?

As for Hysterical Mom, she didn’t have to be hospitalized so her tale had a happy ending after all. Not a dry one – she wouldn’t stop sobbing – but a happy one nonetheless.

That’s all for now folks, see you soon.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

91 Responses to A Tale Of Two Women…

  1. I like to flip the elevator buttons so that up is down and down is up. Is that bad? 🙂

  2. El Guapo says:

    Wait – did High Roller give the good tip too, or just an attaboy?
    Also, funny – treat everyone the same, but also go out of your way to help a lady in distress?
    yeah, I would have too.

  3. Sandi Ormsby says:

    I’m confused was there tip in that hearty handshake?

    Oh..and “eat my dust” hysterical! Haven’t heard that phrase in years. Must use it somehow on one of my posts! 🙂

    Lake Forest, CA USA

    P.S. That crying mom could have easily been me on one of our trips.

  4. Lily says:

    You would think people in wheelchairs would take all the help they can get, but I guess they like doing things themselves? If I was in a wheelchair, I would be incredibly lazy.
    Seems like you saved the day! Nice work!

  5. raisingdaisy says:

    LOL!! I hate it when someone does something nice for another person and they don’t receive the slightest “thank you” – not even a nod. I can’t count how many times I’ve held a door for someone, stepped aside for someone, reached something they were struggling to reach, and had them just walk away as if I were some kind of roving on-site servant. I know it’s not the same, but on behalf of all of us who wish we encountered wonderful, efficient, light-hearted bellmen/front desk people/salespeople/cashiers/etc. like you….THANK YOU. 🙂

  6. I enjoy your ‘reads’ so much… Glad the High Roller saw your worth ‘and in dollars’ 😉

  7. mcqty says:

    Hook the rescue… as usual !! Damn, ungrateful folks!!

  8. Scriptor Obscura says:

    I hope you got a big tip from that high-roller guy, it wasn’t clear in the post whether he did or not…Great post as always, Senor Hook! 😀

  9. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    Your first story reminds me of a commercial I can’t ever seem to find after my first few watchings. There’s a man in a wheelchair talking about how horrible it is women are stealing all the jobs from men, and have the right to vote, etc., and everyone just sits in silence because it’s important to be “sensitive.” I loved that commercial enough that I ought have saved the link, anticipating revisiting it someday!

  10. iamnotshe says:

    You rock my Hook. Oh and I always push the up down buttons … City life… Too many elevators so little patience!

  11. Your story never fails to make me laugh. I admire your perseverance and patience. Of putting humor on situations that can ruin anyone’s day. Some people are clueless of their negative impact on others. You are an inspiration my friend.

  12. You make everything entertaining, Hook. Thanks for another fab installment.

  13. Yatin says:

    When waiting with a crowd for an elevator in peak direction, I embark on to the off-peak bound elevator, grab the vantage position and turn back the other way at first available opportunity. My theory, I prefer the ride over the wait in the crowd. I like your attention towards little details and then translating them into an entertaining skit.

  14. Woman says:

    Were you the ping pong ball that day???

  15. Got to say you have the most interesting job. I am still amazed by how well you can handle the rude, insane and the plain stupid. And I will say that someone should sit down with you and write a story based on you. That would be one heck of a read!

  16. Jo Bryant says:

    How do you stay sane amongst all the insanity ??

  17. renxkyoko says:

    Ah, Mr. Hook, your stuff here will be of great help to guide me when we go on tour. My Mom has already sounded me off about tips , to the driver, hotel staff, tour guide, etc. I just hope we don’t come off as those Asian cheapos, lol. Well, we look Asian, even tho we’re Americans. Hmmm, just wondering…. are Americans bad tippers, generally ?

  18. LOL… had a different experience with an elevator today. Had to drop by the hospital for a blood draw. Elevator door opens, it’s dim inside, guy steps out, “It’s dark in there.” “Yeah, looks like it,” as I step in, thinking a bulb is burnt out so it’ll just be dim. Push button, doors close. Pitch black with just the glow from button “4”. No biggie, rather happy for something different than the mundane elevator ride. Happened to take the same lift down, and apparently maintenance caught on as I had light on the down swing.

  19. The Hobbler says:

    Just so you know, I wasn’t that rude woman in the wheelchair. The rudist thing I might think of doing would be to hook my wheelchair to your cart so you could push us both…but I would definitely say thanks and tip well too. Sorry for the poor representation of us disabled people.

  20. munchow says:

    There is nothing like elevator humour. And nothing as irritating as waiting on the elevator that never shows up – push the button up or the button down – doesn’t matter. But at least I don’t do elevators for a living. Maybe you should have your own private elevator for those special guests? That would make a difference – maybe…

  21. Cindy says:

    In my experience, adult diaper vending machines should be standard fixtures in elevators.

  22. TBM says:

    I’m the type that keeps hitting the elevator buttons in hopes that it will figure out that I am impatient. I also do this when I hit the crosswalk button…I just keep pressing. I have issues.

  23. giselzitrone says:

    Sehr underhaltsam Hook Grüsse und wünsche dir ein gutes week-end Herzlicher Gruss Gislinde.

  24. lorrelee1970 says:

    What a great job to have for telling stories.

  25. mairedubhtx says:

    Some of the rudest people I have ever met are people who are disabled. Why this should be I don’t know. Some get mad if you hold the door for them. Some get mad if you ask if they need help. It’s a strange thing.

  26. dinkerson says:

    I’m loving your stories man. Of course, I also like the way you think.

    “If you feel I’ve gone too far here, just remember… IT’S ALL ABOUT HUMOR, PEOPLE!!! If I can’t treat everyone the same, then why do so many strive for equality?”

    Than line was epic! Oh, and way to always do whatever you’ve got to do to accommodate people’s needs. I like a person who can think outside of the box in order to get things done.

  27. Thanks for helping that lady in distress. Sane and quick – glad you’re back up to speed

  28. Well, at least I’ve never melted down in a lobby, that makes me feel better! Love your work!

  29. Raven of Leyla says:

    Poor lady a Meltdown in a Lobby, oh my. It’s is amazing you still have a sense of humor. Are you still sane? LOL

  30. Androgoth says:

    I agree, definitely treat everyone the same my wicked friend, but you know there are ignorant and ungreateful peeps everywhere these days, even those that have limited mobility 😦 I guess rudeness is something that a lot of guests thrive on, and when a simple thank you, or just a small tip (Say… Fifty Dollars 🙂 ) would be all that was needed to give one some optimism… Bloody Creeps 😦

    I wonder if ALL of those “Hysterical Mom” types act that way, or is just when the mood takes them? But as it was a happy ending (Apart from the Smile and the BIG Tip :() all was well in Guestland…

    Thank you for sharing your days with us Hook and do treat yourself to a Catapult and some Frozen Chips Ammo, they make a wicked hobby, especially when sharing it with those grumpy guests 🙂 Ouch…


  31. People love when I press every button in the elevator.It always makes for a good time and I get to meet really interesting people. One time I even got a tip from doing it.

  32. J Roycroft says:

    Good stuff!

  33. sonsothunder says:

    Tell em to take the stairs…
    Great post Hook. I see you’ve been playing with the header images a little to. Nice pic…
    Oh, hehe…I think I just got Cindy’s post about the adult diaper dispenser.., the lady with the kids may have had a little MORE than a meltdown?.. Heh, if ya ask me Elevators should come with a stocked mini-bar and a barcalounger …I’d never reach my floor…
    Bless You

  34. granny1947 says:

    I hope you got a tip with the attaboy!!!

  35. sexuallifeofawife says:

    I know the lift journey was bad – but HW was meant to be in charge of two children! Were they freaked out by their mum’s tears? Maybe they’re used to it. I guess I could be being too harsh and this was a really bad day for her all round…
    Glad you got a good tip!
    A ‘made me laugh post’ as usual! Thank you!!!

  36. jakesprinter says:

    Great entry my friend I love it 🙂

  37. I understand not everyone can tip, but there’s no excuse for treating people badly – especially people that help !

  38. Ad@m says:

    Wow, you have some adventures Hook! Sounds like a good plot for a short film!

  39. Millie Ho says:

    You have the most interesting slice-of-life experiences.

  40. littlesundog says:

    A thank you is always appropriate! I’ve always thought any kind deed deserved a simple thank you. Where has etiquette gone? Shouldn’t it be in school curriculum?

  41. jlheuer says:

    It was a H day – Handicapped Nasty, Hysterical Mom and High Roller , oh, and the Hook.

  42. countoncross says:

    Great story!
    I have a daughter that has to use a wheelchair often and if she didn’t give you a tip I give you permission to block the door and yell fire! I hope I raised her better than that. 🙂

  43. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    There is SO much constant drama! It’s funny. You must hate those slow days you spoke of in the other post. I wonder how long your shifts are. ‘Mr W claims his name is hard to pronounce’ – you’re a scream. You’d be fun in real life, I’m sure.

  44. ConnieMaria says:

    Lol you are GOOD! another great post – thanks for the laugh!

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