To be clear, my Boxing Day does not consist of battles with strangers for a deal on electronics or bedding accessories.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a conflict or two. The usual hi-jinks are doubled over the holidays.
- There are still crazy, impatient crowds battling each other for a spot on the elevators which quickly become overcrowded (go figure, right?) and inevitably, break down.
- Confusion – in dozens of languages – reigns supreme. “How do I get my car?” is the most common query thrown my way.
- “Where can I get a cart-thingy?” is the other, of course!
- People still drag coolers across marble floors that cost thousands of dollars to maintain. It’s not their money, right?
- Middle-aged idiots in bad hairpieces still try to pass hookers off as their girlfriends. And the hookers still throw phrases like “It’s the biggest I’ve ever seen, baby!” their way!
- People still sort through their luggage after they’ve requested we store it. There’s nothing I enjoy more than standing around while a guest roots through their belongings – especially when it’s busy!
- And Australians still suck really hard. Like, Jenna Jameson, hard!
And that’s pretty bad!
As you may have surmised, I was stiffed by a couple of Australian lasses today. They were cute but fat lot of good that did me. I’m married with a family and a mortgage; unless cute becomes a currency, I’m out of luck! They flashed me a couple of high-wattage smiles too, which only served to highlight their ignorance when it came to tipping.
Okay, I feel better now.
By the way, this was the cleanest Jenna pic available to me. Not that VampireLover will care; I’ll still get ribbed either way!
Where were we?
Oh yeah, Boxing Day! I had another family that left me in the cold – literally! These folks were much more appreciative of my twenty-minute wait on the valet deck – and they showed it! The Dad even loaded the cart himself.
Normally, I’d be a little cheesed off by his boldness but Grandpa called him out and he apologized – and then returned to work hurling the bags on the cart. I’ll say this for him, he did a good job! I can’t throw bags, so it was kinda fun to watch someone else treat their luggage like an airline employee would.
As I’ve said, they took their time retrieving the cars but it was worth it; I even received an actual pat on the back and a “Have a Happy New Year, man!” You really can’t ask for much more these days.
As for my Christmas day, it was perfect! VampireLover gave me the best gift a blogger could ever receive: not a book deal, a laptop! Pretty cool, right? As for my lovely child, she catered to the fanboy in me with Supernatural season 4!
The Winchester boys rock! They get to shoot the crazed beasts they encounter! If only…
On that note, enjoy the remainder of your holiday season, friends.