More Travel Tips From The Hook!


Yes, it’s your vacation, but unless you travel in a bubble – and even if you do – you have to interact with others who will treat you well if you do the same. Treat a bellman like an imbecile with comments like..

  • “This is a laptop! You’re not going to break, right? “

I guarantee you, as far as you’re concerned, the bellman will not be bringing his A-Game to the table! But  you have to be aware of others as well. The following was uttered by a healthy, twenty-something, white male..

  • If the fire alarm goes off  the elevators lock down? Fuck that! I’m now walking forty-seven flights! I’d rather die!”

He’d rather burn to death than walk down forty-seven flights of stairs? No wonder his girlfriend looked at him with an expression that screamed, “I can’t believe I’m letting this douche jump up and down on me for fifteen minutes a night!”


Couples fight. Period. But if you think fighting in public is cool – especially if you have kids with you – then you’re really a douchebag! Keep the phasers on stun and remember, vacations resonate in our memories forever. Bad behavior while traveling will return to haunt you during every major blowout you take part in for the next twenty years, so watch it!


I’m not referring to your kids; child labor is still illegal in Canada! Strapping five bags to little Timmy is not displaying ingenuity, it’s called being a cheap douchebag!

Use common sense when traveling – always. If you can’t find the Front Desk, don’t stand around twisting your head in all directions; ask for help or better yet, examine your surroundings and choose the most logical path. We all make stupid mistakes – sometimes (!) – but some travelers just… don’t… think! And trust me, someday, it’s going to cost them dearly.


Here’s the deal: I deliver six bags to a room within ten minutes of arrival and the Dad decides to call his wife out to inspect the delivery and make sure, in his words “The bellman didn’t take anything!” He then turns to me,  “We’ve had it happen before!” He was certainly within his rights to be certain he was treated fairly, but COME ON! Even if you are a superior being – which most people certainly are not – you have to treat the “lesser beings” with respect when suspecting them of theft or any other situation, for that matter!

Unless of course, the next tip applies to you.


You can pretty much get away with murder – I’ve seen it – if  you make it apparent you will be taking good care of service personnel. I’ll tolerate a bad attitude – if I know there’s a big payday waiting for me at the finish line. 


I’ve been awarded the following honor…

The lovely Zolemia from Zolemia’s Blog is responsible recognizing my greatness/madness and to her I issue a hearty, “YOU ROCK, GIRL!” The basic concept here is to pass the award along to five fellow bloggers, but The Hook being The Hook, I find myself unable to fully comply.

Between both my blogs, I have almost 300 subscribers – from all walks of  life and various countries – who all rock incredibly hard. How can I possibly single out a mere five? By the way, Giancarlo at twisteen also gave me the Versatile Blogger Award (Thanks, young lady!), another honor I feel undeserving of, but I keep getting it! 

However, this does afford me the rare opportunity to attend to some administrative matters concerning my blogs. Here now, for the first time, are The Hook’s rules and regulations regarding Comments and Likes.

  • I attempt to visit as many Freshly Pressed blogs as I can, – although it’s tough sometimes – and I always make a point to leave comments on at least 5-10 posts. Anyone can jump on the FP bandwagon but I try to go further and develop a “feel” for the many different WordPress blogs out there. Bloggers will see a spike – to say the least – in their stats while their work remains in such a prominent position, but the bubble bursts fast! Try to go further, my fellow bloggers – you’ll be amazed at what you find!
  • I make a reciprocal visit to every blogger who is kind enough to comment on my blogs. If they’re an old friend who I may not have visited in a while, I try to catch up.
  • The same applies to “likes’. Sometimes, however, bloggers don’t link their blog to their Gravatar. That is, in my humble opinion, an error in judgement. MAKE SURE PEOPLE CAN FIND YOU!
  • I’m having trouble maintaining ongoing blogging relationships with my subscribers, but I’m improving every day – I think!

That’s all for now, folks. Take care of yourselves.


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

92 Responses to More Travel Tips From The Hook!

  1. Yes! I completely agree with your point about not speaking in a condescending manner to people! That drives me mad!! I mean, it doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, you should always treat everyone around you with respect.


    But maybe I’m just adamant about that because I’m Canadian… 😉

  2. jakesprinter says:

    Your Blog name is fit to your style Hook and you create some fun
    liking each other nice blog 🙂

  3. Another brilliant post! More travelers should read this.

  4. eva626 says:

    congrats on all those awards Hook! … great tips LOL.

    I thought I was your best friend?!?

  5. As always, funny observations of humans – how do you manage to keep a proper “straight” face while working?( much rather have you blog free than get slogged down by “award” requirements). It’s also great you actually swim among the blogs and comment. Seems like reading and commenting does help the blog writer and the reader picks up stuff as well. Post has good advice for travelers and bloggers – thanks

  6. susielindau says:

    I have to say that you are probably being very generous with the douche and his “15” minutes. Hahaha!
    Congrats on the Liebster and Versatile blogger awards. You are most deserving!

    Love your comment and like rules – I agree it is important to reciprocate!

    What is considered an appropriate tip?

  7. yaykisspurr says:

    It’s amazing (or really not so much amazing as incredibly stupdifying) how much people treat others like they are robots or moving statues. And they can’t keep their mouth from flapping, geeze. Keep those words inside your head as thoughts!

    Great post Hook! I always look forward to your topics….

  8. People really question if you took anything? Gasp. So much for my faith in humanity and all that.

    I like to tip generously. Because teachers have a bad rep…and I’m on a mission to change that. Just left $60 on a $42 restaurant bill an hour ago. Yes, I was happy with the service. I also talked to the manager about how great our server was.

    I’ll remember to do that next time I stay in a hotel. Unfortunately, that’s a tad rare.

    Great comment rules! I’ve been sucking at the reciprocation thing lately. Sigh…

  9. TBM says:

    Congrats on the award! Once again I loved your post. Do people really think you might steal a bag. Why would you want someone else’s crap?

  10. Jo Bryant says:

    Wow – congrats on the award – love the points you make – love that you have to make them – people are so…hmmmmmmmmm…interesting

  11. breezyk says:

    great tips! i’ll make sure to let Timmy sit out next time!!

  12. Becoming Bitter says:

    These are the exact same blogging tips (minus the first one) that I gave to other people. Great post Captain Hook and thanks for those traveling tips too. I’ll be ~sure~ to make douchy comments next time I’m traveling. Oh and one day when I get myself a spouse (doesn’t that sound like a fish’s name to you?), I’ll fight with him in public too in front our kids. I’ll also scream for help if I’m lost and leave a penny as a tip. *Smiles*

  13. I think they should post that at the hotel front desk…just saying 🙂

  14. Androgoth says:

    You are certainly adding spice to your Space Hook, I like your ideas, your bold wickedness and of course the way that you stepped around those monotonous awards, oh yes they are really nice, for some I guess but… Well what are they all about exactly? To me they are a never-ending, revolving, continual, repetitive and most ridiculous waste of space but hey at least they get everyone on those crazy lists noticed and that is basically what these crazy awards are all about, getting some visitors, surely that can be achieved without an award?

    To be honest I have never taken part in any of them and I never will either, I mean for those that class them as real awards then good luck to them but for me personally they mean nothing at all, and if peeps need to get noticed in their blogging arenas then there are lots of different ways of doing just that by putting in some effort, perhaps taking a browse through an alternative spaces blog-roll or just venturing into the realms of blog-land all on their own without getting any help from these naff awards for… Well for most of the time being Billy No Mates 🙂

    I mean it’s not rocket science and let’s face it most of the peeps that offer these awards don’t even know the spaces that they are nominating do they? This is how ridiculous it all is and this has happened to me lots of times where someone I don’t even know offers me a nomination for an award saying how great my space is, well maybe if they had bothered to offer me a comment once or twice instead of the Versatile Blogger Award or the Lobster, I mean the Liebster or the… Well the list of cheesiness is endless 😦

    Anyway as I was saying (before I added my thoughts on those annoying and most diabolically irritating awards) you are definitely adding spice to your blogs, and winning. Have a great rest of day and evening…
    Have a wicked rest of weekend Hook, and keep adding to your ghoulishly excellent stories; they are always a riveting read 🙂


    • The Hook says:

      Thanks for the praise, Androgoth. Your input is always appreciated and valued.

      • Androgoth says:

        I was thinking that after my rant on awards a la pong that I would either be thrown off your blogroll or cast into the abyss for being a tad too honest… Perhaps my thoughts would have been best served on my own Space, but you know what Andro is like… Straight in feet first 🙂 lol

        Thank you for calling into my realm my wickedly fine friend and do keep adding these excellent postings, they are certainly a wicked read…


      • The Hook says:

        Thanks again, Androgoth. Your commments are your own; I have no problem hosting them!

  15. dogear6 says:

    Your observations are right on. They wouldn’t be needed if people just practiced some common courtesy, including saying “sorry” when they screw up.

  16. I have read several of your posts – you are more than welcome to visit mine, but that’s not why I’m here- it turns out I really like reading blogs and enjoy reading your perspective; I have learned a lot from your posts.

    You made a difference in a lot of hotel, airport, and car rental shuttle bus drivers’ lives this Thanksgiving holiday. Until, I read one of your hotel posts (I can’t remember which one), I was definitely guilty of not being prepared with a tip and then I would genuinely feel bad about it. This trip (thanks to you) I made a point of planning for the tip. It was a win-win situation. Thanks!

  17. brittany220 says:

    Great post Hook I enjoyed the tips!! And glad to see you got the Liebster award as well! 🙂 But wow 300 subscribers?? How did you get so many? From a lot of blog visiting? Congrats!

    • The Hook says:

      Jumping around WordPress leaving comments makes a BIG impact, it’s true! But I’m just very fortunate that some people like my particular brand of crazy observations and bitterness towards humanity. Let’s hope these same awesome individuals – like yourself – buy the book next year!
      By the way Brittany, thanks for visiting so much. Your efforts are appreciated – big time!

      • brittany220 says:

        Cool you’re writing a book about this? I will for sure buy it! I can’t wait to read it!! How goes the writing process so far? Do you have several chapters done?

      • The Hook says:

        I have most of it done, but I’m adding more material and rewriting like crazy – something most professional writers advise. I’m self-publishing, so I have to submit a print-ready pdf for both the cover/back cover and spine and the interior. I have an editor ready to start the screening process while I tackle formatting.
        I feel overwhelmed, but I’ll get through it – with A LOT of help from my friends!

  18. I don’t know if you care for “Family Guy” or not, but for some reason your idea of the guy jumping up and down on his wife for 15 minutes a night reminded me of when Peter Griffin butted in on Lois’s sex-ed class to demonstrate sex, by pulling out a bust of Shakespeare, and a Rainbow Brite doll, and having them say “Hi Shakespeare” and “Hi, Rainbow Brite, would you like to have some sex”, then he bangs the Shakespeare bust on the Rainbow Brite doll. Totally wrong, but totally Peter Griffin. And, like in another Family Guy episode, I travel with the “luggage of the poor”. I have a suitcase, but I usually stay at places I can drive to, then drag in my suitcase, a Walmart sack loaded with munchies, CDs, newspapers, eyeglasses, reading glasses, etc., a Playmate cooler with water and beer, another sack with stray garbage and stuff I couldn’t fit in the first sack…….

  19. anna says:

    Reminds me of the phrase: “what someone does is their karma, how you react is yours”. This is a cool post and you’re right it’s all about mutual appreciation but only if it’s somewhat genuine!

  20. giselzitrone says:

    Man muss andere Menschen achten und man sollte nicht schlecht über sie reden.Grüsse dich lieb aus Deutschland-Köln und lasse einen schönen Gruss hier.Wünsche dir noch einen schönen 1 Advent lieber Gruss Gislinde.

  21. That is, in my humble opinion, an error in judgement. MAKE SURE PEOPLE CAN FIND YOU!
    I want to post this by itself in its own entry on my blog. There’ve been a handful of people I really, really wanted to follow whose names weren’t descriptive enough to locate. I wonder if they meant it that way, or if they just don’t know they’ve lopped off the bridge behind them. D’oh!

    Love your posts, as always. Wish people would live the “recommend” parts while traveling!

  22. So maybe I haven’t been to your hotel because I haven’t seen any of these boorish behaviors when traveling in Canada? We travelers can certainly be a pain, though! Keep up the great posts!

  23. You know why you get undertipped? I’ve read tipping guidelines (don’t ask me where) where it says $1-$2/bag. So if a couple with two or three bags check in, and they’ve read the same guidelines I have, you’re looking at a tip of $2-$6. Maybe instead of publishing your blog in book form, you should publish a travel tipping guide!

    • The Hook says:

      I’m publishing both!
      Even at $1 a bag – most people have 7 or 8 bags, at least – I’m still getting shafted! Not to mention the people who are too cheap to take any help; if most guests used our services, we’de be raking in the cash even at $2-$6 a call!

  24. jussaraluna says:

    Hi friend, I really enjoyed your blog!
    Very good and interesting
    Thank you:)) Jussara

  25. I think it’s wonderful that you visit so many blogs, and actually comment! I admire your stamina. (And wonder where mine is!) I know how good it feels to receive any visit at all and I appreciate them, but although I try, I find it hard to get around as completely as I should and still write all the stories floating around in my head. It might help if I didn’t need to sleep (and make my own holiday gifts) and, oh never mind the excuses. Just thank you for your kind visits.

  26. munchow says:

    First of all congratulations with the award. And secondly thank you for a great post. Being one who travels quite a bit I can only agree with you one hundred per cent. Most of all we need to bring along decency and respect. I had to laugh of the stupid guy who can’t even trust a bellman. He should stay home.

  27. jlheuer says:

    Hook, I love reading your posts and I was glad to read that you have to “catch up” sometimes on blogs you read. That’s how I work too and I don’t want the bloggers I subscribe with to think I am ignoring them. I also just read sometimes and don’t always comment but I am still faithful. Keep up the good work.

  28. Dave says:

    The basic lesson here is to treat people with respect. It’s such a simple concept yet is one that so many people miss. My mother-in-law when out at a restaurant ALWAYS talks into her menu when ordering and never says please or thank you. Drives me nuts. She’s out to eat and all of a sudden she thinks she’s a big shot. Common courtesy is such a simple thing.

  29. shetraces says:

    Fifteen minutes? i’m thinking more like 5…lol
    that statement had me cracking up!
    Thank you for these great not-so-common tips. I always get a good laugh when I come here, I hope your holiday was well!

  30. nicole says:

    oh my goodness! “This is a laptop! You’re not going to break, right?” i think that i said exactly that to my bellman in new york, and now i feel terrible!!! he was so sweet. i tipped him well, but he didn’t deserve that condescension despite my ultra protectiveness of the macbook pro! wow, i am so sorry for saying that! haha! and very good advice! if you intend to tip, then make it known! x

    • The Hook says:

      You’re allowed to be concerned about your possessions; you worked hard for them! Just try to temper that concern with compassion – always! But remember, nobody’s perfect!

  31. countoncross says:

    Great tips….I can’t believe how people horrible people can be. Very well written!

  32. The Hobbler says:

    Hey, I nominated you for the 7 X 7 link award…here’s the link:

  33. Seeing that I am going to be staying in a hotel for six days I will remember your tips!!!!

  34. Kim says:

    Congrats, Hook! You deserve it 🙂

  35. giselzitrone says:

    Die Menschen sind einfach zum grösten teil Tiere zumindest verhalten sie sich manches mal so.Wenn ich mir die ganzen Kriege auf der Welt anschaue wird mir richtig schlecht lieber Gruss und einen schönen Abend Gislinde.

  36. Hello there, Mr. Hook! I agree with your frank and sensible approach to travelling. There are always people that lack common decency to act like human beings, and I appreciate your trying to educate them. Now all that’s left is to force ’em to read…*the sound of sizzling as their disused minds absorb the power of correct behavior*
    LOL, and congrats on the award!

  37. Courtesy, respect, generosity, patience goes a long way. Great advices. Every traveler should read this. A see a lot of people who are rude and inconsiderate to others and it’s sickening. They don’t realize they are the one’s degrading themselves for acting like a jerk. Cool post as always.
    Thank you. Best wishes to you and your family.

    • The Hook says:

      You’re right; people can’t see outside of themselves for the two seconds it would require to realize the impact their behavior has on the world around them. Thanks for the visit, my friend.

  38. Val says:

    Thanks for sharing your ‘rules and regulations’. Good tips for a new blogger like me.

  39. bmj2k says:

    Your rules are the same ones I always say I am going to follow but never find the time. There is a reason I am online and commenting at midnight!

  40. inspectorshmi says:

    I’ve seen some people who really think they still live in medieval era and despite their being loaded, they are lacking of common sense as in treating people equally! they would just shout to the hotel people as if they are lower human beings. some things I can never understand…

  41. hotelnerd says:

    Honestly fighting with your spouse INSIDE the room can be just as bad when the Front Desk starts getting noise complaints. Leave your drama at home. It’s vacation, just try to have a good time.

  42. Pingback: What’s Going On With The Hook? | You've Been Hooked!

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