“You’ve Been Hooked!” – The Situation Comedy.

“This place should be a sitcom!”

Every single week, one of my colleagues will make that declaration. They’re absolutely right, of course. Here’s why..

A SUCCESSFUL SITCOM REQUIRES…

  • A setting ripe with comic possibilities: a location filled with an ever-changing cast of extras.
  • Colorful characters people can identify with: a lovable drunk, slutty female, an accident prone geek, etc.
  • Wacky neighbors that pop in unannounced and provide a few minutes of comedy.
  • A cast that wrestles with the same problems as the audience – economic strife, sexual frustration, etc.
  • Writing that doesn’t seem tired and repetitive, but rather fresh, yet somehow familiar to the cheese-eating audience.
  • Every once in a while, there has to be an “aww” moment that touches people’s hearts and keeps them coming back. Even Two and a Half Men had those moments every so often.

So let’s look at my life, shall we?

  • I have an father-in-law and brother-in-law living next door. Hey, that Raymond guy milked that idea for years!
  • I’m constantly being teased (and physically assaulted) by my wife and daughter. Even the dogs are treated better at times!
  • At the end of the day, when the dust settles, my family loves each other – for some reason.

Now let’s examine my work setting…

  •  My little slice of Hotel Heaven opens its doors to a revolving cast of nut jobs from all walks of life and ethnic origin. People who use Grandma’s wheelchair for a luggage cart so they can save enough money to give their kids Red Bull for breakfast were put on this planet to be written about, right?
  • I spend my days sitting in a dingy, dirty back room that holds two elevators and  four doors. At any given moment another crazy employee, delivery person or even a guest will wander through like a crazy neighbor and provide some comic relief.
  • Some of the craziest “Guy Talk” you’ve ever heard is uttered in that back room. Of course, most of it is only fit for HBO!
  • Every episode would contain encounters with a wide-assortment of cheap, crazy guests and their dysfunctional clans. Familiar, yet simultaneously fresh.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:

THE HOOK: (Observing an overweight, sweaty supervisor dragging his carcass through the lobby) Jeez, he looks like he spent the last six months in a prisoner of war camp!

ONE OF THE HOOK’S COLLEAGUES: What, you mean one with an all-you-can-eat buffet?

SAMPLE SITUATION:

A female guest realizes she is at the wrong hotel after her bags have been loaded on a cart. In the meantime, I come out of our back room with a gentleman’s bags. He takes his luggage and starts to walk away. She mistakes the male guest for a bellman and ask him to bring her bags up.

FEMALE GUEST: I’m sorry, I thought you worked here!

MALE GUEST: I almost held my hand out for a tip!

THE HOOK: You would have been waiting for a long time, sir!

MG: People don’t tip?

THE HOOK: You didn’t, sir!

How about one more? I’m walking through a department store with my daughter – she was about nine at the time – and I spot this guy with a crazy look in his eyes racing right for us. As he gets closer, he slows down and starts to look embarrassed.

CRAZY GUY: I’m sorry, man! I thought that was a real baby!

I had been carrying one of Sarah’s dolls upside down by the leg and this moron was convinced I was dangling my child as I walked through a mall! My response was short but to the point.

THE HOOK: Do I look like an eccentric pop star, sir? 

IN CLOSING….

When you look closely at the history of television comedies you see there have been some successful shows built around a weak premise. I think my little odyssey is worthy of a time slot among the crowded TV landscape.

What do you think, gentle readers? Is “You’ve Been Hooked!” worthy of your valuable time?

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

98 Responses to “You’ve Been Hooked!” – The Situation Comedy.

  1. People who give their kids Red Bull for breakfast are just helping Darwin along. Keep at it guys!

  2. Becoming Bitter says:

    I always feel like my life is one big sitcom except it just has more assholes in it. If you want I can cast a glamor charm on you.

  3. raisingdaisy says:

    Your idea sounds wayyyy better than 98% of the crap….uh, shows….on TV! But you’d have to stay on as writer – no one can tell good hotel sitcom stories like you, Hook! I think you already have a good-sized viewing public right here, in your blog readers. 🙂

  4. Mindslam says:

    Man, I love sitcoms & your writing would be perfect. So much to draw from. Even the name sounds right. Sit down, write the “pilot” & pitch it. F/X is getting cool with tv shows & you wouldn’t have to watch the language. Who do you want to play you?

  5. Bring it on! I’d tune in nightly.

  6. I love reading your posts! It is always entertaining and easy to relate to!

  7. renxkyoko says:

    Totally worthy of my time…. now, if only I have the time…………..

  8. I just heard a familiar voiceover in my head . . . same bat time, same bat channel . . . . oddly enough I didn’t even have a TV when I was a kid . . . so I’m sure this must be a sign. 🙂

  9. It would be a welcomed addition to our viewing options.
    Go for it Hook!!

  10. susielindau says:

    Yes I guess you could say that I am “hooked!”
    You must crack each other up at the hotel all day!

  11. yaykisspurr says:

    Ha,ha! I love this premise. I have a love hate relationship with sitcoms, moving a little more to the love lately. Life sounds like fun!

  12. jennygoth says:

    im a regular hooker lol was going to say love coming here but sounds rude anyway lol you know what i mean xxjen

  13. eva626 says:

    LOL@ ‘you didnt (tip) sir’

  14. xeriouslywtf says:

    Nutjobs. I’m putting that back into my everyday vocabulary. There’s a lot worse tv out there. I’m on board.

  15. Jeanne Heuer says:

    Fun post, I hope your supervisor doesn’t subscribe.

  16. matthewhyde says:

    Well, I’d watch it, but I’d be judging it against the king of hotel-based sitcoms, Fawlty Towers.

    I’ve described my workplace as a sitcom more than once too. We even sat down and cast it one day. I was to be played by David Hewlett from Stargate: Atlantis.

  17. If your life were a sit-com, I’d watch…if it were available on basic cable.

    Awesome post! 😉

  18. Androgoth says:

    I have heard of a left Hook but you my
    wickedly fine friend are most definitely
    the right Hook 🙂 😉 Always a riveting
    and refreshing read here so everyone
    that follows you can really benefit from
    your worthwhile offerings 🙂

    Have a great rest of weekend Hook
    and keep blogging your stylish pieces 🙂

    Androgoth

  19. I would definitely watch your show! You are hilarious! 🙂

  20. I would tune in! I think your life is totally sitcom-worthy. I can almost hear the live studio audience in the background just waiting for their cue to start giggling. Bring. It. On. And you’re funnier then half those writers out there anyways!

  21. giselzitrone says:

    Das Leben ist ein Bach man muss immer mitschwimmen ob man will oder nicht Wünsche einen schönen Sonntag und Grüsse dich Gislinde,

  22. TBM says:

    Absolutely! I would watch. That is only if you wrote the script. Otherwise I don’t think it would be legit.

  23. My answer is as follows: I watch only one sitcom, and that’s the one that pays Ba.D.’s paycheck.

    I read your blog willingly, consistently, no matter how many other blog emails I have to delete.

    I think you see my answer. 🙂

  24. you should totally pitch it! It’s already better than most of the crap on TV nowadays.

  25. sami116 says:

    As long as you don’t have Ashton Kutcher playing one of the leads in “You’ve been hooked”, I don’t think I’ll have any problems getting hooked to it.(Pun not intended)

  26. countoncross says:

    I love it! I keep coming back to read more, and I would rather watch a movie than read a book. So I am hooked!
    I would read the blog and watch the show….now who do we have to contact to get it going?

  27. Lafemmeroar says:

    Consider me a wacky neighbor 🙂 I’ve been hooked 🙂

  28. Caroline says:

    You’re just too quick–love that you got right back at the guy about not tipping. That’s too funny. And yes, you don’t seem like the Britney Spears type, throwing babies around and such, haha.

  29. spicegirlfla says:

    This is too funny! Anytime something odd goes on in my life or my friends, we always say it was a Bundy moment!!

  30. Bahahahahahah…now THIS was funny…

    CRAZY GUY: I’m sorry, man! I thought that was a real baby!
    I had been carrying one of Sarah’s dolls upside down by the leg and this moron was convinced I was dangling my child as I walked through a mall! My response was short but to the point.
    THE HOOK: Do I look like an eccentric pop star, sir?

    Priceless….

  31. Fox@n says:

    Woah that was really funny man.
    I would deff enjoy watching this everyday as i love reading it.

  32. bmj2k says:

    I’d tune in.

  33. I’d give it 5 seasons, no more. You’d need more characters, though. Shows with only four recurring characters (like The IT Crowd) just aren’t made any more.

  34. If you sell the pilot, all your subscribers get cameo walk-ons.

  35. Jo Bryant says:

    I think David Hasselhoff would make the perfect Hook…hehehe

  36. mcqty says:

    Love this post. If you can make people laugh by just reading what you are writing, I can’t imagine how much more funny it would be actually watching it. People are suckers for watching others in misery, and acting a fool, that would bring huge ratings as well as laughs. I would totally put you on the DVR to make sure not to miss an episode !!

  37. jakesprinter says:

    Great Story Nice Blog u have 🙂

  38. Ben says:

    Why don’t you try writing movie scripts? The stories are really entertaining. :]

  39. brittany220 says:

    Haha that’s funny that the guy thought you were dangling a baby in the store. 😛 Hope to see you and your family on TV soon Hook as the next sitcom! 🙂 I’ll watch every episode!

  40. The Hobbler says:

    If I had any major network contacts; you’d already be on.

  41. Indeed it is! ‘Do I look like an eccentric pop-star, sir?’

  42. hotelnerd says:

    Now there’s a TV show I could write for…I’m picturing the early years of Scrubs before every episode was a sentimental nonsensical romp of calling back old jokes.

  43. Val says:

    The Love Boat comes to mind… transposed to dry land and updated with lots of cussin and nudity. Some of the original Love Boat cast can make cameo appearances if you like!

  44. Have you’ve ever seen BBC’s Hotel Babylon? It wasn’t a comedy per se. More like a dramedy but it had some crazy situations in a hotel setting all the same 🙂

  45. Have a feeling once the book is out it will go straight to the big screen. It’s the modern Shakespeare.

  46. Theasaurus says:

    Why not? They do say that life is stranger than fiction.

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