“This Is Totally Going In My Blog!”

Yes, I know Neal Patrick Harris uttered these words first, but they’ve become the mantra of bloggers everywhere, so NPH will have to excuse their usage here.

Besides, let him sue me: you can’t get blood from a stone.

At any rate, our current title has been inspired by a question I receive on a daily basis from friends and colleagues: “Is this going in your blog?” I can’t really blame them; after all, a good blogger is always on the lookout for new material. Freshness is important as well; you can’t just write about cheap douchebags every week and expect your readers to not get bored every now and again.

I know you’re thinking, “Bring on the douchebags, Hook!”  I agree, the underbelly of humanity is infinitely more interesting than those of us with morals and intelligence. But sometimes, when the stars are aligned just so, Fate throws you a bone.

I actually served some decent, kick-ass guests today.

Seriously.

  • There was the couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Quite a milestone in this day and age, right? Can you imagine the things they’ve seen in five decades together? These folks were old enough to remember graduating with Noah, but they had manners and generosity to spare. If I drank, I’d swear I was hallucinating!
  • My lesbian couple was a credit to their team. They were fun to serve and they seemed genuinely well-adjusted and content with their lot in life. Come to think of it, I’ve never had a bad experience with any of the  homosexual couples I’ve served in the past. Isn’t that interesting?
  • Five American seniors were very specific in their instructions regarding the storage of their luggage, but they soon recognized their behavior as ridiculously anal and soon relented. When they returned for the bags they spent twenty minutes grilling us on Canadian customs and economic practices. In the manner of a concerned grandfather, one of the gentlemen shoved a few dollars in my jacket pocket as I was loading up the bags!

My personal favorite for the day consisted of a bearded, burly dad, his lovely wife and their four daughters. Dad and his two older daughters met me at the room, which looked like it had seen better days.

NICE DAD: You ever travel with four women, son? They’ll run through a hotel room like a tornado and drive you nuts in the process!

THE HOOK: Sounds like fun, sir.

ND: (Laughing the big man’s laugh) Oh, it’s fun, all right!

He cleared his two daughters out of the room to give me some space to work – very considerate, by the way – and when I stepped out into the hall, I saw one of them attempting to crawl all over the cart.

ND: For Pete’s sake. get off of there!

THE HOOK: It’s fine sir. Although the kids that usually do that are much younger…

She disembarked, her young head slung in defeat. Dad, however, loved it.

ND: That’s hilarious!

We headed down to his Yukon, where his wife and two youngest daughters awaited. The girls were engaged in some sort of death match in the back seat!

THE HOOK: I think I see what you mean, sir!

NICE WIFE: Did he say our kids were animals?

THE HOOK: Oh no, he didn’t say –

NW: Because they are!

THE HOOK: I have a twelve-year-old daughter. I understand perfectly.

NW: Try having a twelve-year-old, an eleven-year-old, a nine-year-old, AND a seven-year-old – all daughters!

ND: Now you probably really see what I mean, right?

THE HOOK: I sure do! Now I don’t feel so bad about having to attend a Selena Gomez concert with my daughter. You have much more on your plate…

TOGETHER: We sure do!

 

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to “This Is Totally Going In My Blog!”

  1. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    Very entertaining 🙂 Sounds like your real life!

  2. Cindy says:

    Nice Dad must be on serious tranquillisers ….

  3. raisingdaisy says:

    Kind of restores your faith in human nature, doesn’t it? Kinda? A little? Well, maybe just for the moment…. 😉

  4. Ipodman says:

    Your life is jam packed full of weird stuff o.O Lol…

  5. Hehehehe…great stories!! I have a girlfriend that says “don’t blog about this” every time we have a conversation. Next time I am going to tell her it needs to be funny first 🙂

  6. kat says:

    “This is totally going in my blog!” Love it. Today, my husband took me to school (college, he’s not a cradle robber; I’m in my thirties) and accidentally drove onto a pedesterian walkway that, in his defense, does look like a vehicle-friendly side street, if you don’t know the area. With no place to turn around, and extremely embarrassed, he had to back up all the way to the main street. After this was done, he looked at me and said, “No blogging about this.”

    I said sure, no problem, I promise.

    Wait. Uh-oh.

    Okay, technically, this doesn’t count. This isn’t my blog. And it’s a comment box.

  7. dererzahlernc says:

    Love the latest posting, Hook!

    You, my friend, have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award. See my page for more…

  8. Kim says:

    Yeah, I did see the episode when he said that. Hilarious!

  9. eva626 says:

    LOL. so who do you like better selena gomez or bieber??? haha

  10. HAHA! I say those words ALL the time! 🙂

    As for taking the daughter to see Selena Gomez…is it bad that I actually like her?

  11. Jo Bryant says:

    You had normal people – WOW. I took my son when he was 12 to see Robbie Williams here – we listened to Rock DJ for two hours as we drove to the concert. Oh how I hated that song after that drive…but I am so glad we went, because now he wouldn’t be caught dead with me at a concert – or – hang on – maybe it’s the other way around…hehehe

  12. Glad to know your world is entirely populated by douchebags. I was beginning to worry!

  13. granny1947 says:

    Hi Hook…nice post.
    Four daughters!!!!
    The man upstairs knew what he was doing when he gave me two of each.
    I don’t seem to be getting your norifications?
    Wonder where they are going?

  14. granny1947 says:

    As I get older I wonder a lot.

  15. granny1947 says:

    I wonder why that is?

  16. Nice change of pace. Fun read as always 🙂

  17. Jeanne Heuer says:

    Amazing! You get normal people too. Nice to know.

  18. gmom says:

    Kids. Can’t live with ’em, can’t kill ’em.
    Might as well have some fun.
    I like the soft side of Hook.

  19. HoaiPhai says:

    Is there some rule at your hotel that they only accept guests who drive Yukons? They seem to have come up a couple of times lately!

  20. totsymae1011 says:

    Writing about Douchebags? Hmmm…
    Sure wish I hadn’t told my mom about my blog. She’s good material right about now.

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