It’s Not All About Rude Guests And Bad Tips….

It was a slow weekend for cinema, so my daughter – Glee Girl –  and I decided to contribute to Hugh Jackman’s fortunes and purchase two tickets for Real Steel.

Finished laughing and groaning yet?

This is a “popcorn flick”, pure and simple. But there’s nothing wrong with that. Some of my greatest cinematic experiences took place during viewings of popcorn flicks. Sitting there with my movie buddy and watching the flicker in her eyes when lights go down and the screen fires up, is nothing short of magical. 

As for Hugh and his version of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, what can I say?

Keep your expectations realistic and you won’t be disappointed. Jackman is Charlie Kenton, the quintessential down-on-his-luck everyman North Americans love who finds himself saddled with a young son he never knew, who is meant to win over both his dad’s heart and the audience’s.

He succeeds, of course. As do the various robots fighters, none more than Atom, the dilapidated “sparring bot” whose “Shadow Mode” allows him to duplicate Charlie’s  knowledge of boxing and hold his own against the robot fighting champion, Zeus.

  

I’ll let you figure out if father and son ultimately bond and train Atom to be a champion.

And before I forget, LOST’s Evangeline Lilly is along for the ride as Charlie’s long-suffering love interest. Her inclusion led to one of my more interesting conversations with my daughter.

GLEE GIRL: (Watching wide-eyed as Charlie slides into bed with his sleeping, estranged girlfriend) I thought she didn’t like him? But she’s smiling…

THE HOOK: People don’t have to like each other to share a bed . And besides, when you truly love someone, it’s forever.

GG: What are you, Shakespeare?

I love that kid.

SPEAKING OF DAUGHTERS…

Before we part ways, I suppose there is time for at least one douchebag-inspired tale of woe.

It was the peak of check-out and I was waiting for the guest elevators with a large crowd; when one arrived the crowd surged forward. One large Italian family was the most aggressive and so they went away with the spoils.

What they didn’t go away with was their ten-year-old daughter.  

And they saw her, believe me. My eyes caught the Mom’s, but she just let the doors close. The crowd let out an audible gasp, but the little cherub was unphased. I asked if she knew which floor their room was on, and she answered “yes” in a Disney-worthy voice. We took the next elevator car together and I gave her some advice.

THE HOOK: Now, if you’re smart little girl, you’ll start crying when you get upstairs. Really pour on the waterworks and you should be able to snag yourself a brand-new doll.

CUTEST LITTLE GIRL EVER: That sounds good! I like dolls!

The car arrived, she disembarked to… no one.

Not one member of her family was waiting to greet her or go back down and retrieve her.

I guess they figured they could always have more kids.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to It’s Not All About Rude Guests And Bad Tips….

  1. mairedubhtx says:

    You could have called the police to report an abandoned child in the hotel. That would have gotten their attention and maybe a good talking to.

  2. <> hee hee hee.That’s hilarious. We all think that after we’ve had a few. And they could have been thinking. “Hey, if that kid really wants us as parents, she’ll find her way upstairs.” or “well that will teach her to dawdle” or maybe they hadn’t noticed a reduction in numbers yet.

    Being a parent takes lots of practice. And you don’t even get to practice until the game begins. I’m still learning and my kids are 31 and 40 years old.

    What I’d like to see in my lifetime is a football game or basketball game played entirely by a team of guys who never played before. Put them in a stadium full of roaring, raging, opinionated onlookers and see how well they do. Yea…that’s what I wanna see. How about them Rangers eh? Ok I totally fell off the subject and am talking about baseball now. Ciao for today 🙂

    • The Hook says:

      You’re forgiven for going off-topic, young lady! Great response to the whole “Leave your kid in the Lobby’ situation, by the way.

  3. That wins the Lifetime Douchebag Achievement Award. You should have stayed downstairs with her for at least 30 minutes. Next time ship her to me. I like kids.

  4. mindslam says:

    I do want to see this one. So sad about the little girl.

  5. Oh my gosh what douche-bag parents!! Absolutely golden advice from The Hook though, I hope she got that doll!

  6. Oh wow, what jerks!

    Your daughter sounds like she takes after you with the humor and wit! 🙂

  7. Androgoth says:

    Another riveting read Hook; of course what can one add about the parents of that little girl? 😦 I think that they deserve a night in the Graveyard for that one… Don’t worry I am getting the Zombies prepped to make sure their stay is a very scary and bloodcurdling one 🙂 With parents like that those Zombies would be a welcomed change me thinks? 🙂 lol

    Thank you for adding your
    slant on the film ‘Real Steel’

    Have a great rest of evening now Hook 🙂

    Androgoth

  8. Ben says:

    What an amusing kid you have there. I’m glad she is acquainted with some classic artists.

  9. skybambi says:

    That’s horrid how they left her there! My parents did that to me once. They wanted to teach me a lesson so they hid behind the big toy boxes at Toys’R’us when I wandered off. They watched as I bawled my eyes out, appearing only after a sales lady approached. Parents. Pish!

  10. What are you, Shakespeare?
    Bwahaha! My coworkers don’t know it yet, but they’re about to hear this phrase as many times as circumstances kinda-sorta-almost warrant it today!

    *giggle*

    I have a Real Steel wristband from our Hugh encounter at Comic Con. Still on the fence as to whether I’ll watch it . . . but I do like me some popcorn movies! And I’ve even started learning to knit so I can actually stay awake through movies at home. 😀

  11. renxkyoko says:

    ” The car arrived, she disembarked to… no one.

    Not one member of her family was waiting to greet her or go back down and retrieve her.

    I guess they figured they could always have more kids. ”

    Uhm, so what happened to her ? ….. This reminds me Home Alone ! ! I’m sure this is just a momentary inattention. Aaaargh ! Still…….

  12. jennygoth says:

    thats bad leavin your kid like that especially these days that robot film supposed to be a bit of a weepy i bought a dvd today called mrs brown its really funny and a bit rude but im going to watch it tommorrow have a good week hook xxjen

  13. Caroline says:

    My boss offered my co-worker and I tickets to the premiere of the movie, but we didn’t go. I guess I just figured it’d be exactly as you described! I do love Evangeline Lilly though. Makes me miss LOST! Still don’t understand the ending of that show though…really let me down, haha.

  14. I ‘ll have to check this movie out …when it comes to my Direct TV… And, speaking of Shakespeare, I saw previews of a movie coming out, or maybe out already, didn’t catch the name, but seems to portray Shakespeare as only the front man for the true writer behind the scenes. Another one I will surely wait till it is on my home freebies to see, though, what little I saw was intriguing,
    Bless You

  15. Aaron Babcock says:

    To Real Steel’s credit, at least it isn’t one of a half-dozen remakes coming out/slated to be coming out. Glad it was enjoyable!

  16. Well, Shakespeare, I do like your daughter’s sense of humor! She’s so much better off than that poor little girl who’s getting used to not being valued as a human being. I hope she doesn’t grow up to make some abusive man happy as a good little doormat, but what’s to stop that?

    I love Hugh Jackman (and cuddly robot gladiators) so I should enjoy this movie if I get the chance. Thanks for letting us know it’s not total crap. 🙂

  17. Jo Bryant says:

    You know – I hate to say it – I have had moments where watching the doors close as the kid, or sometimes both kids, were outside would have seemed like a good move to me. I did have a trick. Both my kids used to argue in the car. Never fail – always happened and it drove me nuts. One day I had had enough. So I said – or rather yelled STOP IT OR YOU’RE OUT. Of course within 5 minutes it was happening again. So I stopped the car – threw them out and drove off. Only round the corner – and I jumped out and peaked through a bush to watch them. After they got over the amazement of Mum going mad and leaving them they started trudging in the direction of home. On sighting the car around the corner they ran and jumped in. It was a VERY QUIET trip home…

  18. Kim says:

    It’s Not All About Rude Guests And Bad Tips, but it’s half your life 😀

  19. kat says:

    Interesting . . . when I first saw the trailer for Real Steel, it looked like this down-n-dirty sci-fi action flick, no mention of a kid anywhere.

    Flash-forward a month later, the new trailer makes it seem more like a family movie. With a big robot.

    I am confused.

    I’m assuming the Parents of the Year award winners eventually decided to come back for their daughter.

  20. brittany220 says:

    Aww cute conversation between you and your daugher.

    And ack poor girl! Can’t believe they just completely forgot about her.

  21. brittany220 says:

    Aww cute conversation between you and your daughter.

    And ack poor girl! Can’t believe they just completely forgot about her.

  22. HoaiPhai says:

    Should have tacked on a babysitting fee to the girl’s parents’ bill.

    Had to laugh at “What are you, Shakespeare?”…epic!

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