I feel strangely optimistic, which will serve me well, considering the sea of madness I have to swim in on Sundays! First off, we rocked a few buses, as the young people say. Then, we got rocked – by a Japanese tour guide who was a little miffed when we forgot to bring down his clients’ two bags.
“You 50/50! Other hotel I deal with, 100%! You? You 50/50!”
And so Sunday began.
Despite the rough start, my morning was salvaged by a group whose trade show was across the street at another facility. Their materials were stored in our back room, so they required the assistance of a seasoned transportation specialist like myself. Trust me, the terrain is actually rough and even uphill at times!
I realize now that I sound like an old man who spouts tales of walking to school in the snow, uphill both ways, to younger folk. But it is actually a bit of a trek, and so you can count on a decent tip. Which explains why I made the trip three times.
We cross the pond, in a manner of speaking, for our next tale. I loaded a cart with ten small bags and the old British lady in charge took one look and felt remorseful, “Look at it. We have so many odds and sods!”
Apparently that means odds and ends in “cute old lady British speak”.
From England to Germany, I get them all. A group of highly animated Europeans gearboxes decided to have some fun with one of a trio of motorized scooters we had parked beside the Bell Desk. I came through the back door and one of these morons was racing around the lobby in this thing! Of course, “racing” isn’t entirely accurate, but some of these scooters can clock in at a good speed.
As for the jackass in question, his companions had only this to say: “He’s Swiss!”
At least the jackass left within a few minutes and my next call was a nice older couple who even tipped in advance. Now, when someone does that, the bellman makes sure to drop the bags off at the room when it’s ready (sometimes we simply give the guest a tag for the cart and whoever is available serves them at the appropriate time).
And just as things were starting to rock at check-in time…. a bus (and its fifty-plus bags!), arrives to whip the proverbial monkey wrench at my head!
TOUR GUIDE: You have to watch out fellas, we have two Roy Smiths on the passenger list. We use numbered tags, so one Roy Smith is #6 and the other is #20. Remember, #6 goes with his wife, #5, Hazel Smith. The other goes with #19, Marilyn Smith. Got it?
THE HOOK: What if they agreed to swap on this leg of the trip? You know, older folks get bored and like to be adventurous sometimes…
TG: (laughing so much he dropped his papers!) I don’t what they do – just put the bags in the right room!
I eventually arrived at their room, much to their surprise.
HAPPY MALE GUEST: You look just like the other guy!
THE HOOK: They clone us, sir. There’s a whole room of us downstairs!
HAPPY FEMALE GUEST: Well, at least they know enough to clone quality, right?
THE HOOK: I’m simply the cheapest model to produce!
HMG: Well, let’s clone this as well. Here you go!
And so he tipped me again! This clone nearly fainted.
And that was my latest Sunday, I hope yours was uneventful and full of smiles.