“To Be Continued” – Concluded!

Where were we?

Oh yeah, summer was over and I had just enjoyed two glorious days of freedom. Sarah was back to school and I was back to the grind.

THURSDAY:

Yep, summer is deader than disco. You could just feel the desperation as I walked into the hotel to start my day. On the plus side, we had two buses to tackle; they were big enough to keep you occupied for a little while, but small enough to avoid breaking your back!

Next up was a couple who stored their bags for breakfast but returned a half-hour later with more than they had the first time! The husband left to hit the restroom, leaving me and the wife to wait for the car.

THE HOOK: You do realize we would have picked everything up from the room, and saved you some time and effort, right miss?

FRUSTRATED WIFE: I don’t know what the hell he’s doing! He doesn’t think!

THE HOOK: If it’s any consolation, you’re not the only wife to feel that way. Perhaps some husbands  think saving a few bucks will make them more attractive?

FW: If only!

Wasn’t she awesome?

Then there was the older couple thar renewed my faith in marriage.

OLD HUSBAND: Can I store some luggage with you?

THE HOOK: How many bags, sir?

OH: One and..

OLD WIFE: (Holding up a small bag) This little one, too. It counts as a half, I guess!

OH: So, I guess it’s two and a half, but I’m taking one with me!

She promptly smacked him upside the bald head!

THE HOOK: How is it you’ve managed to survive all these years, sir? Don’t those hits start to have an effect after a year or two?

OH: I’ve had 43 years of her, I’m numb to pain by now!

They laughed like kids and walked away, probably as happy as they were a decade ago. It just warms your heart. I hope I’m married long enough to drive my wife crazy all through her golden years!

Speaking of crazy, I get a call in the afternoon for  a check-out (!), and the guest decided it would be a good idea to needle the bellman, just for fun!

GUEST WITHOUT A CLUE: Let me ask you, how long has this place been full-service?

THE HOOK: From Day One, so twelve years now.

GWAC: Oh! I only ask because the last time were here, we took a cart and did it ourselves! And the time before that!

THE HOOK: Did you have to go into a room marked “STAFF ONLY”, by any chance?

GWAC: No, the carts were left out, so we just took one!

THE HOOK: Well, I’m sorry you were treated that way, sir…

GWAC: Which way?

THE HOOK: When you stay in a full-service hotel, you’re not supposed to be treated like a working class dog, but rather a VIP, worthy of respect. Someone obviously fell asleep at the switch and not only did you  a disservice, but prevented someone like me from doing their job!

Both he and his wife were quiet for a moment (the desired effect!), and then I accompanied them to the parking garage, loaded their bags, accepted ten dollars from them and we parted ways. Hopefully they were a little wiser, but I’ve learned not to expect too much from people who try to break the rules in the name of saving a few bucks!

Believe it or not, this was a quiet day!

FRIDAY:

The best day of the week – if you’re not working.

My day started out slooow, at 7 am. An hour later, I had my first call – a young, upscale brunette asked me to deliver three folding chairs, a small duffel bag and  a purse to a room with a screaming child and a cursing mom. I completed the task and was paid $4 Canadian.

Yes, I actually manage to not only raise a family, but give my daughter a better-than average life filled with Selena Gomez concerts, weekly trips to the comic book store and UGG boots!

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THESE COST?

The rest of the day was equally quiet and uneventful, but I expected nothing less. After all, we’re heading into the long, cold winter and you there’s nothing more desolate than a hotel in a Canadian tourist town. I’m more than used to down time.

SATURDAY:

“THE NEW SHOES: DAY ONE!”

Makes my life seem sort of empty, doesn’t it?

Truthfully, my life is anything but empty; I have a family, friends and of course, hundreds of unhinged travellers to fill my days with laughter – and tears! Let’s concentrate on laughter, shall we?

BEWILDERED HUSBAND: (While loading car with shopping bags) The wife likes to shop!

THE HOOK: I noticed. Isn’t it interesting that Abercrombie & Fitch bags feature shirtless male models?

SHOPAHOLIC WIFE: What do you mean?

BH: He means they all look gay! Like your brother, Ted!

Okay, I didn’t mean that! I don’t even know Ted!

THE HOOK: Actually, I mean the store sells clothing, but the bags feature these shirtless “himbos”! I just find it funny.

But the damage was done.

SW: Ted is just sensitive, that’s all!

BH: Yeah, sensitive – and gay!

I just took my five bucks and hightailed it out of there, another successful call under my belt. The next one, featuring a newlywed  couple who couldn’t decide if they wanted help (meaning, they were cheap!), finally relented. The groom, after he inquired if I was married, asked me for advice.

THE HOOK: Practise this phrase, sir, “I have no recollection of the events to which you are referring”.

I love to give back to the people.

 I ended my Saturday as I usually do, with a double-shot of Doctor Who and Torchwood with my trusty sidekick, Sarah. Here’s hoping your week was less memorable and more peaceful.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to “To Be Continued” – Concluded!

  1. Woman says:

    TORCHWOOD!!! For some reason Doctor Who seems to overshadow Torchwood so I forget!!! I must download!!!

  2. sonsothunder says:

    Gordo Rambo overshadows both of them for me.. hehe
    Love your stories, I’ll have to stay tuned to become a little more
    oriented, and up to date.
    God Bless You…
    and your Piano Playing Daughter…
    paul

  3. Tim Rueb says:

    I hope you are keeping all these great stories for a book some day. Maybe something like “The Help” except for the hospitality industry. Snappy come-backs. Stupid Questions. Weird unbelievable encounters. And the likes. Sounds like you have plenty of stories.

    Good Hunting.

    • The Hook says:

      I’m looking at my options for a book. I’ve received some great leads amd advice from a fellow writer, but I’m proceeding cautiously. Good Hunting to you as well, good sir.

  4. mairedubhtx says:

    Glad you had some decent people this week. Older couples are the cutest.

  5. sayali611 says:

    Gotta love you for how you tackle people (Thursday’s encounter). Next time I’m going to sit down with a notepad when I visit your blog!

  6. I really hope you get a book published. Your stories need to be out there.

    Awesome comeback to the guy who stole the cart previously. And 😆 at the Bewildered Husband bringing up his gay brother-in-law. Haha

  7. OH: I’ve had 43 years of her, I’m numb to pain by now!

    My just-younger sister and her husband smack each others’ behinds with such force and frequency, you can hear the smacks resounding through whatever neighborhood they’re in! Sometimes they’ll forget their acquired numbness and smack someone else on the bottom playfully, only to be met with shrieking.

    I guess they have to keep hitting harder so the other one feels it by this point!

    :p

  8. dererzahlernc says:

    That was a good read, very lighthearted and made me laugh. I appreciate the posting and I agree with other commentors that this would make a funny book to read.

  9. Jo Bryant says:

    Did you know that Ugg is actually a shortened form of ‘ugly’, and they only became popular when an aussie surfer took a few pairs with him to the States and the American surfers thought ‘hey’ ? In WWI they were worn by pilots and called ‘fugg boots’ (stands for flying ugg). Ugg is in the dictionary – and it is a generic term, and the boots have been made for 200 years in Oz – even though an American Company has tried desperately to stop aussies using the term after the idiot trademarked it.
    To be an Ugg – it has to be made from marino wool – warm in winter, cool in summer, and they were originaly made from three pieces – one for both sides and the sole. I have a pair that I got in the eighties and they are still good. They have lived in Sydney, Holland, Queensland, and now NZ.
    I call ’em tuggs (travelled uggs). Hehehehehehe

  10. raisingdaisy says:

    LOL! I wonder if any of these guests ever happen to read your blog? 😉

  11. Androgoth says:

    Well you certainly finished this one off well,
    and with some UGG Boots thrown in for good
    measure, I am not too sure on UGG meaning
    Ugly but I can sort of understand why? 🙂 lol
    They do look rather comfortable though, but I
    doubt if they would go with my Cape, and as
    they are such a light colour they could easily
    clash with my evils too so no UGG Boots for
    me Hook… Keep up the good blogging now 🙂

    Have a great start to Thursday
    and may the tips be plentiful 🙂

    Androgoth

  12. Haha! Love the old couple and the advice you gave to the newlywed hubby! 🙂

  13. sonsothunder says:

    Heh, the old guy with the bag he was happily married to for 43 years…that’s funny;
    He may be oblivious to pain after 43 years of getting his bald head smacked,,,but, he probably wasn’t “Bald” to begin with…

    Lost my place in the story last night, had to come back and flip a few pages.
    Have a great day.
    paul

  14. Kim says:

    Yes, UGGs are superexpensive – that’s why I bought EMUs and BEARPAWs. They keep my feet warm as well 🙂

  15. jennygoth says:

    what a lovely thing to say hope your sharing your twighlight years with your wife i used to love the earlier dr who my fave is muppets xmas carol lol i can watch it all year long its the best film michael canes ever done ugg boots not for me they remind me of grannie slippers lol have a great week hook and good luck on a book xxjen

  16. Caroline says:

    That story about the old couple melts my heart. I hope to be like that with my husband when I grow old as well! Way to throw it right back at the guest without a clue. How do you remember all of these hysterical conversations? Do you have to write them down right after? I know I would…I have a terrible memory, haha.

  17. jlheuer says:

    Your comebacks to the customers seem wittier and braver these days. Love it.

  18. jennygoth says:

    have a fantastic weekend hook xxjen

  19. bmj2k says:

    I am so far behind Torchwood you would not believe me. Half the team is still alive! But I am always current on Doctor Who, even if this season has been a little inconsistent.

    Selena Gomez and Ugg boots. Oh boy.

  20. HoaiPhai says:

    The way you handled “The Guest without a Clue”… golden!

  21. theonlycin says:

    I don’t know why I am not getting email notifications when you do a new post 😦

  22. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    I love reading this stuff. It’s just so average, but not – if you could know what I mean? Thank you for sharing your life – I love reading about other lives; some more than others…

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