Another Week…

Another series of nightmares.


A day off for The Hook! It was glorious! Not a window-licker in sight! Do you think I’ve used enough exclamation marks?


I had this nice family from Quebec (No, seriously!), and we were waiting for their car when these two little boys/animals started terrorizing their little boy and girl. They ran off with their bouncy ball and they just wouldn’t stop yelling. I simply marched over and held out one of my big hands until the little beggars got the point.

As we were making our way to their car, I felt my cart slow down slightly. I glanced back and sure enough, I had a little stowaway! One of the animals decided he’d rather hitch a ride with a different family.

I utilized the glare and added a stern“GET… OFF!”

Unfortunately, he didn’t pee himself.


I was caught up in one of those time/space distortions and actually had a nice family to serve! They had three kids in their early twenties, each one polite and respectful. Seriously.

We were heading through the mid-morning check-out rush when I noticed one of our carts sitting in the hallway. One of the daughters noticed I was distracted, so I explained how important it is to keep track of our equipment. I looked away for a moment, and realized her family had raced ahead. I looked back and she had disappeared.

She emerged a moment later, wheeling the empty cart! She returned it to our desk for me and earned my eternal gratitude and respect. To top it off, I managed to snag a decent tip from her Dad even though I disappeared with his daughter for a few minutes!


OLDER GUEST: “Could I have one of those.. you know.. those things people use to move their bags?”

THE HOOK: “A baby stroller?”

OG: “No, one of those rolly things your guests use to get their luggage to the room.”

THE HOOK: “You mean a wheelchair? A  lot of guests use those…”

OG: No! (Laughing at this point)

THE HOOK: “Do you mean a bell cart, sir?”

OG: “Yes!”

If you can’t tease old people, who can you tease? Once I explained how things worked and I helped him, he tipped me twenty bucks, by the way. Clearly, I didn’t piss him off that much.


The end of the business week always brings out the nut jobs and peculiar souls. This day was no exception.

ANOTHER OLD GUEST: “Yes, I need my bags brought to Room 310 B, please.”

I just stood there for a moment, attempting to process the gentleman’s statement.

THE HOOK: “Excuse me sir?”

AOG:Room 310 B.”

THE HOOK: “Can I see your key packet, sir?”

After a quick glance, the flickering lightbulb went off in my head.

THE HOOK: “Okay, sir, I’ll see you in a minute in Room 3108!”


Guests were freaking out because of the elevators. That’s the cold, hard truth.

It seems every guest is Jack Nicholson in The Shining, and their family is the only one staying in the hotel at any given time!

“Why is it so busy right now?

Try listening to that eighty times, every… single….morning!

The elevators fill up after two floors and then they stop at every single floor. Do you see the problem?


Another day off! Just as my brain started to pour through my nostrils, too..

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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53 Responses to Another Week…

  1. mairedubhtx says:

    Not a bad week for you.

  2. raisingdaisy says:

    LOL Seriously, I’d love to be a guest at your holiday table! 😉

  3. Aimee says:

    Sounds like a good week for tips at least…

  4. irratebass says:

    Doesn’t sound like you had that bad of a week buddy.

  5. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    I hope Li’l D ends up generally being like the non-animal wee ones from Tuesday and Wednesday!

    Speaking of days off, I cannot stress how insanely happy I am my work week is almost over.

  6. HoaiPhai says:

    Hey! What’s wrong with Quebeckers? I’m originally a Montrealer and I’m a seriously fun and easy-going guy. Maybe someone should organize junkets to Quebec to show people that the citizenry there are life-loving partyers and not like the a$$hole politicians who get all the press! Great post!

  7. OG found you entertaining. 😀

  8. If you had two families with respectful children in one week, couldn’t have been that bad.

  9. mindslam says:

    Wish there was enough or any for that matter things worth writing about from my work. Yours sure gives you good stories to tell. I don’t really have to deal with the customers here though…just the goof-balls I work with. Could probably come up with a few stories about them though. Might have to try it sometime. Once again, love your work!

  10. bats0711 says:

    Thursday looked fun! and you can never have too many explanation points!!!!

  11. xeriouslywtf says:

    If pee was your objective, you could have tried the stern voice on the older guests. Just a thought.

  12. brittany220 says:

    Haha sounds like a busy week! I thought the conversation with the older person about the cart was funny, nice one. 🙂

  13. penpusherpen says:

    You utter tease you, and I love using exclamation marks, !!! and do you ever get steam pouring from your ears?… ‘twould happen to me, that’s a certainty… xPenx

  14. Jaan says:

    Hahaha 🙂 I like Thursday!

  15. bmj2k says:

    Your Thursday tease shows that with the right attitude and a nice person to talk to, you can still have fun on the job.

  16. Jo Bryant says:

    I loved the teasing the old man – hilarious.

  17. jennygoth says:

    hi hook i lost you for a while your still having a colourful life with your job great meeting all those different charactors have a fun sunday xxjen

  18. sayali611 says:

    “GET..OFF”.. Wow, the Hook sounds like a hoot in that one!

  19. im just imagining your facial expressions at all the exclaimation points 🙂

  20. hawleywood40 says:

    Glad the days off come before your head explodes : ). And I’m impressed that you manage to keep your days off window-licker free. They seem to cross my path even when I’m not at work!

  21. renxkyoko says:

    I think it’s been a pretty quiet week for you… nice old seniors who tip well, and that girl who returned the trolley herself, giving you one less work to do. I’m liking to hear some really good harrowing experience, again. Sorry, it’s just such good read. Hahaha !

  22. jlheuer says:

    Just got back from Toron’o and I tried to be a good tourist and tip well and not run around screaming in the hotel lobby or making a big mess in my room because I didn’t want the staff calling me a douchbag after I left.

  23. JM Randolph says:

    I love “I had this nice family from Quebec (No, seriously!)” You had a good decent-human-being-to-douchebag ratio this week. Hey, let’s hear it for Mondays off! My fave!

  24. PM says:

    i’m just glad the week ended right for you with the day off. just watch the brain from escaping next time 😆

  25. jennygoth says:

    hi hook thanks for visits hope your weekends a good one xxjen

  26. mizqui says:

    Wow! I like this whole “writing in series” style of blogging. Very rich. Giving us more to feed on per post. BRILLIANT Hook! Literally.

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