The Girl Who REALLY Played With Fire!

Can you keep a secret?

There’s a girl at work who I see every day, that never fails to make me smile.

She’s a cute little blonde with a devilish twinkle in her eye, and a whole lot of crazy rolling around in her head.

She used to date a former colleague of mine who, because of her profession, cocktail waitress at a strip club, assumed he had hit the jackpot in the bedroom. But after a few weeks of dating, sans nookie, his hopes began to fade.

Then, when things seemed bleak, she agreed to go away with him for the weekend.


Well, not quite.

That first night, as things were finally getting hot and heavy, she made a bold request, which he was more than happy to grant. She made her way to the middle of the bed, minus her lingerie, and got on all fours.

Sounds great so far, right?

She then demanded he have his “locomotive” circle the “tunnel” (this is integral to the story), not actually enter!

Does anyone else see the major flaw in this plan?

After a few agonizing minutes, his willpower, already stretched to the limits, crumbled and he made the decision to take the train directly into the tunnel, if you catch my drift.

Well. two seconds into the trip, the train was derailed, so to speak, and she hit every alarm she had. There was screaming and cursing, followed by her immediate retreat and the end of a very twisted relationship.

I can only assume he then proceeded to “take the train to the station” on his own, so to speak.

When he returned to work on Monday, he was reluctant to share the gory details, but they emerged slowly in due time. What makes the tale so much more enjoyable is the fact this young lady was a model for one of the hotel’s early ads. In it, she’s seated across from a young man, her petite head resting on one hand as she gives her companion a “come hither” stare. The picture makes you wonder just what’s behind her eyes.

I know the answer to that one.

Now, whenever I see her picture on room keys or a restaurant poster in the elevators, I can’t help but smile as I recall this deliciously twisted tale.

Just don’t tell my wife.

See you in the lobby, kids…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to The Girl Who REALLY Played With Fire!

  1. raisingdaisy says:

    OH my gosh, this one might be even crazier than the hotel guests you write about!! I don’t even want to know what makes her think the way she does. All things considered, your friend is probably lucky that screaming and cursing is ALL she did in protest…. 😉

  2. sayali611 says:

    Hahahaha! that has got to be one of the most bizarre stories ever!

  3. Circle the tunnel …. ahahahahahaha! Poor lad.

  4. Woman says:

    LOL!!!!!! Ok, I’ve heard stories like that before from some friends I know, where guys “assume” that just because of the job they have they are amazing in the bedroom. Heck… because I write erotica I too have had my fair share of men assuming I am a star in any room. If anyone actually reads some of my actual work they quickly realise that I make the “me” in the story graceful but when in reality I am about as graceful as a dancing hippo and not the kind in Fantasia.

    But the story of the post is not what I am laughing at… I am laughing and still chucking (backspace is my friend!!!) at the terms you use to write the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!

  5. penpusherpen says:

    Wow, Hook, come hither …but only so far and I think we know what’s behind her eyes….. and some derailment with only one casualty methinks … the twisted relationship has come a cropper and had me wide eyed and overcome with laughter… xPenx

  6. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    Holy guacamole! That was hard* even to read. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to experience firsthand!

    * Let me beat you to the punch on this one. “She said ‘hard’!” :p

  7. Back in my day we called a woman like that a cock-tease. This one, however, took it to a whole new level. Poor chap!

  8. The dating escapades of hotel employees almost deserve their own blog!

  9. Caroline says:

    Haha hmm interesting story. This girl seems a bit weird with her terminology. Funny though!

  10. Jeanne Heuer says:

    And the moral is “never judge a book by it’s cover”.

  11. The assumptions remind me of the Seinfeld episode “The Gymnast.” From the episode: “In my country [Romania], they speak of a man so virile, so potent, that to spend a night with such a man is to enter a world of sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as “the comedian.” You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no comedian.”

    Apart from that, the young lady in question is lucky she didn’t get raped. While I am an ardent believer of “No means no,” I also think you shouldn’t put yourself in situations that make “No” hard to believe. If you don’t want sex, don’t go to a hotel room and take your clothes off with a man.

    • Spectra says:

      Actually, “entering the tunnel”, when the agreement is to “circle” does constitute rape. He had no permission to penetrate. Women do not feel the same sexual urgency as men, all focused in one place, the almighty “choo-choo”…

      She probably felt pressured to let a man get more intimate with her than she was raised to allow, or desired this quickly with a new “conductor”. Every woman has an absolute right to controll what happens to her body every step of the way, no matter how insane a man is with horny. He actually violated her will. I am surprised more readers refuse to see this. Modern society not only condones premarital sex, but expects it of women, and sooner and sooner. If a girl does not want to “give it up”, but cannot date by todays low standards due to cheap expectations, certain girls, like this one, may desperately try to work out a compromise. Besides, after he nailed her, he may have quickly bored and moved on, joking only about her as a slut. A one night stand.

      I do not think the girl is crazy. The guy is a selfish pig. But I agree, she is “playing with fire”. A serious conversation before the weekend about bondaries would have made her, eh-hem, “position” clear. And if the weekend for him was only worth the price if he got to slide through her “tunnel” to the other side of Egoville, satisfying his lust and need for conquest, they might both have agreed to call the weekend off. She needs to KNOW she has to state her boundaries clearly. He needs to stop being such a sefish ass and a user. And he is lucky she didn’t cut his caboose off.

    • The Hook says:

      I couldn’t agree more!

  12. LOL…what a story!! Talk about crossed signals or should that read tracks??!! I hope your friend makes sure he’s got the right train next time 😉

  13. hawleywood40 says:

    “Circle the tunnel” – I’m gonna be laughing about that all day!

  14. 😆 at circle the train. That poor guy. She takes crazy to a whole new planet.

  15. mindslam says:

    That was awesome & so funny…great picture to go along with the description. Everytime that I see a train now…gonna think of her…LOL

  16. HoaiPhai says:

    Sheesh! Just what does it take to get this girl to call out, “All aboard!”?

  17. Spectra says:

    Of all of these comments I am reading I am amazed at the lack of respect people show for a womans right to controll what happens to her body. He may not have liked not being allowed to do whatever he wanted, but neither do rapists.

    I should mention here, I am a certified Rape Crisis Counselor. No woman is obligated to perform any act she has not expressly agreed to engage in. And this girl did not offer full “access”. This is a short story of how a man violated a girl, if only for “2 seconds”. I am disappointed that people think this is funny. 😦

    • The Hook says:

      I’m not suggesting the young lady should have complied with his unspoken request, I’m simply relaying a story.
      I’m actually a very sensitive person when it comes to such matters.

  18. bmj2k says:

    I will not elaborate but I know EXACTLY what that whole story feels like.

  19. Women are evil…just saying.

  20. Raven says:

    What a great story and I really like it!!! LOL having that Key to remind you must be a hoot for Hook I am sure!
    smiles, Rx
    My latest::

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