Well, not so much “made”, as “forced”.
Regardless, the fact remains that I’ve stumbled upon Fox’s intended purpose in this world, beyond being masturbatory fodder, I mean.
Her life plan inspires others to ask the really tough, yet important questions.
SARAH: “Why wasn’t Megan Fox in this one?”
On the surface, it was simple question. Unfortunately, the answer required a history lesson to be complete.
THE HOOK: “Well. she compared the director, Michael Bay, to Hitler..”
SARAH: “But did she really deserve to be fired over that?”
THE HOOK: “Well, the problem is, Steven Spielberg is an executive producer on the movie, and once he heard about what she said, she was done like dinner!”
SARAH: “Why would he care?”
THE HOOK: “Spielberg is the self-appointed Captain America of the Jewish people. He’s also the ultimate Hollywood Momma’s Boy, which is why he made a film called Schindler’s List, which was about the Holocaust.”
I should have seen this next question coming. I mean, Stevie Wonder could have seen it, but not The Hook!
SARAH: “What’s the Holocaust?”
I actually thought Sarah had been given a WWII primer in school, but I guess it’s still a bit early for that. And so, I had to dive right into a description of one of the greatest acts of horror one group of people ever visited upon another.
THE HOOK: “The German people were jealous of the Jewish people, who owned a lot of land and businesses in Germany at the time. Hitler took advantage of that resentment and fanned it into pure hatred. He promised to restore the country to its former glory by forcing the Jews onto trains and shipping them away to camps.”
SARAH: “What kind of camps?”
THE HOOK: “Concentration camps where they were experimented on and tortured. Most of them didn’t survive. I could tell you so much more, especially since your Great Grandmother was German, but that should do it for now, right?”
Of course, that was far from “it’, but how could I hope to summarize the near-extinction of an entire race? Sarah took her time before answering, her twelve-year-old brain was no doubt still reeling. My kid is a real trooper, though; comes from good genes.
SARAH:“Yeah, I think I’ve got it, sorta. You’d think Megan Fox would know better than to mess with a powerful Hollywood Momma’s Boy like Steven Speilberg, wouldn’t you?”
THE HOOK: “Well she does now!”
And so I guess I owe Fox a debt of thanks for forcing me to “up my game” in the Dad department. I finished my parental lecture with another piece of advice I gleamed from monitoring Fox’s life.
“Don’t spend your childhood eating paint chips and sniffing glue unless you want to grow up to be a hottie with a vacant look behind your eyes!”
Words to live by.
- Steven Spielberg Fired Megan Fox From Transformers, And She’s in a Bikini (thesuperficial.com)
- Michael Bay Says Hitler Comments Got Megan Fox Fired from ‘Transformers 3′ (blippitt.com)
- Bay: Megan Fox remark led to ‘Transformers’ firing (thegreatone22.wordpress.com)