Meet The Two Biggest Douchebags… EVER!

This is NOT a case of creative license, folks. These two guests have truly earned their shared title.


I arrive at a room at 8 am after four glorious days off (for which Fate decided to punish me, it seems!) and what do I walk into? Two screaming boys, a dopey teenage male and two dads who have failed miserably at guiding their young charges through this great journey called “life”.

Seriously, these dads sucked, the kids were wild animals spreading chaos up and down the halls. I should have realized this ride was going to be bumpy when one of the dads called down for assistance and his car and the call took a full five-minutes!

Calling for a bellman and your car should take a minute, tops. It’s not rocket science people, just recite a couple of numbers and you’re done.

At any rate, I called for their truck, made my way past their kids, and loaded a mammoth trunk, cooler and load of bags. I was compensated with five American dollars and informed of a truck rack that was stored in our back room. I raced back downstairs, carried the rack in one hand, pulled the bell cart with the other, and met the two morons at their truck.

They asked me to drop everything, as it would take them a few minutes to load their “Redneckmobile” and the other dad gave me an additional five Canadian dollars.

Only after tipping me did he ask his fellow dad/partner/whatever if he had already tipped me. Of course, he said “yes” and then the other dad asked for his money back!

Did you read that last part correctly?


Do you realize just how big a douche bag you have to be to pull something like that?

I very reluctantly returned his money and to my eternal shame, I simply walked away. I realize my role is to move luggage in a calm, courteous manner and nothing more, but sometimes it’s necessary to challenge people – in an intelligent manner, of course.

Unfortunately, I was blindsided and my usual potent combination of cynicism and razor-sharp wit was rendered inoperative.

This incident took place thirty minutes ago, so the steam is still emanating from my ears and my rage has yet to subside. My apologies for submitting an unpolished post, but therapy is expensive and blogging is free.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

63 Responses to Meet The Two Biggest Douchebags… EVER!

  1. mairedubhtx says:

    He asked for his money back? What a douchebag!

  2. Russ Ray says:

    There has got to be a legal defense for keeping that money. He paid money in consideration for your service, and you accepted the money. It’s his fault that he never negotiated a rate. Then again, I’m applying American law to a Canadian situation…

  3. sayali611 says:

    Aw, I’m sorry for the bad day you’ve had. “but therapy is expensive and blogging is free” lol, hope it worked

  4. gmom says:

    You could have calmly and oh so very courteously thrown up all over their shit!
    Then oh so sorrily wiped your mouth with the $5 spot and asked if they wanted that back too.
    Sorry for the course language.
    But hell!
    That’s just not right!!

  5. Ipodman says:

    Your life is not easy o.O

  6. melsar93 says:

    Douchebags, Inc.
    Bettering the name of American Tourists everywhere.

  7. penpusherpen says:

    Un – be- liev- able…, Hook, ’tis no wonder your ears were still steaming… sending out smoke signals to all and sundry I bet!! Douche-bags they are named and douche-bags forever they shall be. … I hope calm has descended once more upon your person through the therapy of blogging. xPenx

  8. countoncross says:

    So funny! I love that you share these stories, because I just can’t believe that people like this are really around. Now we know why the kids are a mess…no values!

  9. Fox@n says:

    Wow! Same thing happened to me, but at a Dunkin Donuts scenario. lol. Omg i hate these customers!

  10. Yep, and that’s why I do it too! I’ve gotten more longevity and therapy out of this blog than I ever did paying a therapist. Why? Because I have a shit-load of therapists now!
    I remind myself all the time not to sweat the petty stuff, but pet the sweaty stuff. 😉 You just can’t instill tact in some people. The nice thing is, with that kind of attitude he’s bound to come across someone in the future that will set his ass straight, and truth be known probably knock the snot out of him. Just smile Hook, knowing we live in a just world where what comes around goes around.

  11. 😯 Who the hell does that?? OMG sorry Hook.

  12. granny1947 says:

    Good Grief…are there really people like that around?
    What idiots!!!

  13. HoaiPhai says:

    Humm…the mixed nationalities of the currency leads me to believe that these guy were possibly Americans. Have you ever considered carrying Canadian Tire money in various denominations to use as your refund bankroll in case this scenario ever plays itself out again?

  14. Caroline says:

    WHO DOES THAT!?! Seriously. I definitely would have let you have all of the money mr. hook. 🙂

  15. raisingdaisy says:

    Wow they’re taking the “King DB” title to a new level! Keep their last name on file and in 10 years, when their kids call for a reservation, turn them down. They won’t turn out any better than their dads. 😉

  16. Do you ever have a good day at work? 😛 Jk! I would say that people show no respect anymore.

  17. xeriouslywtf says:

    this guy isn’t a douchebag… he’s a douche-nozzle. i feel you should be allowed to carry arms in your job.

  18. Damn that sucks. Good thing you have this blog to vent 🙂

  19. Aaron Babcock says:

    I’ll be honest, when I first read the title of the post I suspected hyperbole. I know how fond you are (and rightfully so!) of the term “douchebag” and its subsequent liberal use. However, after reading this post I see that hyperbole is not at all involved. What a douche!

  20. irratebass says:

    I can’t say what everyone else has already said, but remember karma is a bitch….he will get is…..oh wait, he does, he has shitty kids LOL

  21. Sometimes I wonder about punchbags (lol)…asking for money back.

  22. seems all all the weirdos on planet earth land on your work space :p

  23. I wish those jerks could read this post and the comments!

  24. charlywalker says:

    You write his name on the $5 bill with the caption “douchebag” under it….then stick it back in the cash drawer and let it circulate throughout the world……

    spread the humor:

  25. Geez, Hook…that sucks! No class, whatsoever! Hope your blood pressure is a bit lower today…


  26. What an ***hole!….Too bad you couldn’t have taken back all you had done for the guy when he took back the money 😦

  27. Jeanne Heuer says:

    Oh please oh please, I’m on vacation in two weeks. I hope I don’t tip like a DB. He actually asked for the money back ????!

  28. Spectra says:

    I LOVE this. I have never been asked to return a tip…but there were a few tiny, stingy ones, I would love to have thrown back in peoples faces. You did well, my dear Hook. You did well. Held onto your feelings, and blurted out here, with us. We hear you- we HEAR you. LOL, this is funny, in the end. Rotten but funny. GodBless.

  29. Mr. Hook– I am very poor and do not stay at hotels with bellboys. I do not stay at hotels at all.

    Asking for $5.00 back is rude– assuming they had tipped you courteously and properly, what SHOULD they have tipped you for this service? I need to know this in case I win a lottery and stay in a hotel; I DO NOT want to appear on someone’s blog as a douchebag!

  30. Wow…I am gonna say that pretty much tops it in the asshole department…

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