When Cheerleaders Attack!

We live in a society obsessed with fame where people will blindly follow any path they think leads to stardom.

You have your pageant contestants, some as young as five, and of course your models/singers/actresses. There are dancers, the scourge of the hotel  service industry with their seemingly endless supply of props. Finally, there is the sub-species of fame seeker that I consider the most fierce and dangerous: the cheerleader.

Now before you get to excited, let me be clear: I’m not talking about the sexy cheerleaders we both laugh and cringe at on Glee. Although the image those actresses are sending out to young girls is part of the problem with today’s cheerleaders.

Remember folks, they're legal but most of their audience isn't!

 No, I’m referring to young ladies between eight and seventeen, at the most. Underage cheerleaders may walk the walk, but they’re not able to talk the talk. And any adult that thinks so is in danger of becoming a resident of our lovely penal system!

My humble hotel was overrun by packs of this species this past weekend and the damage is still being assessed and repaired. Not only that, but they trashed my fair city’s new convention center, leaving it a suitable filming location for The Hangover 3!

  • They tore hand-dryers out of washroom walls!
  • They ripped upholstery on brand-new chairs!
  • They sacrificed the weakest member of each squad in the name of Satan!

Okay, so I can’t confirm that one, but anything’s possible. Seriously, today’s cheerleaders are fierce! They’re like limber little locusts in gaudy uniforms and eight ounces of war paint, I mean make-up!

Actually, war paint is a more appropriate term, considering these girls are out for blood! And as the packs of wild cheerleaders roam the urban jungle, their cougar moms carefully observe the proceedings from the sidelines and urge their progeny to go in for the kill!

To be honest, though, while their kids are roaming the halls of my hotel, the cougar moms are chain-smoking and sipping wine coolers and Mike’s Hard Lemonade  in the rooms!

 Seriously, these moms and coaches have no idea just what their not-so-good-little girls are up to.They’re getting hit on by would-be hockey heroes and various other forty-year-old Lotharios, that’s what.

SUP-A-COOL cheerleaders doing a scale

Image via Wikipedia

The Hook was riding the elevator down from a  call when two young guys in their late twenties were blatantly checking out a cheerleader in a particularly provocative outfit, with matching make-up of course.

Unfortunately her parents were present! When the two morons disembarked one floor before the lobby, it gave the dad an opportunity to attack The Hook!  

IRATE CHEERLEADING DAD: (In booming voice) You guys were checking out my daughter!

THE HOOK: I’m not with the two gentlemen sir, and I’m forty-one and not interested in girls who are younger than my uniform size!

(This brought a chuckle from the mom and an awkward look from the daughter!)

ICD: I know what I saw!

THE HOOK: To be brutally honest, sir, these cheerleading uniforms look like they’ve been designed by Larry Flynt! I don’t think you can be too surprised by the reaction you’ve just seen. You can expect to see more of that in the future if your daughter continues to pursue cheerleading.

ICD: Well, I..

THE HOOK: Have a nice day, folks.

With that, I made my way back to my desk, leaving Irate Cheerleading Dad and his family stunned and hopefully enlightened. Nothing else transpired of the incident, so I can only assume my message, though risky to convey, was received and understood.

Sometimes you have to put people in their place, but only after they’ve started something!


 And the cheerleader-induced havoc continued in even more disturbing ways. Which brings me to a particularly troubling incident that occurred during Sunday morning check-out.

A young lady, afflicted with Downs syndrome I believe, took a seat on a bench directly across from my desk. She was wearing a cheerleader uniform – intended to make her feel comfortable with the squad she was traveling with in an unofficial capacity. The way she was sitting afforded a view of a specific area, which was not properly covered.

 I found myself in the unenviable position of having to alert her caregiver to the fact her young charge wasn’t wearing underwear and other guests were taking notice.

Turns out the young lady had received instruction from the other girls, all of whom were in their late teens and should have known better, and was simply trying to fit in. The situation was quickly rectified but the damage is inestimable.

These girls have been negatively influenced at some point and even though they knew better, they made the conscious decision to spread that negative influence along to an innocent victim.

Cheerleading can help young ladies become leaders later in life. It can instill the value of teamwork and sacrifice for a common goal. It can even help hone their supple young bodies into finely tuned instruments and stave off the epidemic of childhood obesity.

But this weekend, I didn’t see enough of the positive effects of cheerleading, just the reasons why people so closely associate cheerleaders with sexual imagery.

 Of course, I’d still rather deal with cheerleaders than hockey players.

Of course, this isn't the type of cheerleader The Hooks get to serve!

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to When Cheerleaders Attack!

  1. mairedubhtx says:

    My granddaughters are on the Pep Squad (they get school credit fro this!) and aren’t cheerleaders (too expensive). They have become really physically fit on the team but it takes up their lives. I like that they’ve made friends and like the Squad but not that it consumes their lives. At least their uniforms are conservative.

  2. raisingdaisy says:

    And that lack of parental attention and the horrible example being set by said disconnected parents is why you’ve got out-of-control children who become out-of-control adults with a complete lack of respect for themselves and others. And then the parents are shocked when their little “angels” show up pregnant at 15.

    Good for you – I admire what you said to that stupid dad. I notice he didn’t have the guts to say anything when there were 3 of you present, though.

    Of course cheerleading is good exercise, but there are other, more admirable ways to get exercise. Like being a gymnast, but that doesn’t come with Flynt-inspired clothing…

    And as for making leaders of them in the future? I haven’t seen it happen. I’ve seen some become bullies, tyrants, and self-centered divorcees while others just continue to follow the leader, doing whatever it takes to fit in and be noticed. The stories I heard from a friend of my daughter who became a cheerleader in high school would turn your stomach. One leader in the pack, the rest fell in line just to be considered “cool”. Yah, right. And it was even worse than the cruelty shown to that poor Downs Syndrome girl. My daughter’s friend quit and did just fine for herself after that. AFTER that.

    BUT – I’ll bet your wife is glad you weren’t serving cheerleaders like the one in that last picture, eh Hook? LOL

  3. As you know, Hook, I’m a “reluctant cheer mom” (who doesn’t smoke, isn’t a “cougar”, and stops after two glasses of wine). Our daughters are on their school teams, and not allowed to wear the “slutty” uniforms (elite teams usually don’t have the same rules). My middle daughter has been involved with cheerleading over much of the last six years…the sport has changed a lot in that time. The overtly sexual movements seem to be out of style now (good thing). Cheerleading is definitely a workout, and the bruises and practice schedules are brutal! The girls on my middle daughter’s high school team support each other…we have never heard of anyone being bullied (can’t say the same about the youngest one’s middle school team though).

    There is definitely a cheerleading stereotype, but I hesitate to paint all the girls (and their moms) with the same brush.


    • raisingdaisy says:

      Wendy, I agree that we can’t judge all by the behaviors of some. I think it’s unfortunate that the worst examples have gotten the most attention, but that seems to be the way things are today. It’s really great that some schools have standards and I’m sure there are plenty of cheer moms who also hold their daughters to higher standards. I just wish the negative examples would take cues from the positive examples like yours! In the long run, it’s just so unfair to the girls, whose young, impressionable minds are being taught the wrong things.

    • The Hook says:

      I understand your concerns, but remember, I ONLY write about people or groups I’ve personally encountered. Besides, your kids don’t trash convention centres or hotel rooms, so I’m not referring to them. I knw you’re a great cheer-mom, and blogger! Thanks for the visit.

  4. irratebass says:

    Great thoughtful post, I never really thought about GLEE and the messages it sends to our young people, I really liked your caption showing the 2 girls.

    Good stuff!

  5. I am SO glad I don’t have girls…evil little bitches. I was never a cheerleader though, so I am just guessing…hahahahahahahahahaha….

  6. Ugh ripping up new upholstery and doing that to the poor girl with Down’s Syndrome? So sorry you had to deal with the “sweater monkeys.”

  7. Did they leave glitter everywhere too?
    When I was in Theatre, I had to work a Cheerleader/Drill Team/Dance show and after the show, we had to sweep the stage…I have never seen so much glitter in my lives and that stuff doesn’t want to come off either! I ended up having glitter on ME for days afterwards and I wasn’t even in the show, just cleaning up after it! UGH!
    What those girls did to that poor Down Syndromes girl was just cruel! 😦

  8. *life, I meant…..I do NOT have 9 lives like a cat, sadly……

  9. Good for you, Hook, well done. Dressed in clothes designed by Larry Flynt…………at least you got your point home. Badly behaved kids are the scourge of the world, unfortunately.

  10. Kim says:

    I’d rather deal with hockey players than with cheerleaders 😀

  11. Jaan says:

    oh how did i miss to read this first before anyone else does! 😦 In our country we don’t have any cheer-leading or cheerleaders or what so activities at schools. But I know what it’s like. Also I agree with you on this “Although the image those actresses are sending out to young girls is part of the problem with today’s cheerleaders.”

  12. penpusherpen says:

    Wish I’d been there watching the um, ‘dressing down’ of the cheerleaders dad in the lift, you would have thought he’d have reasoned that the ogling was a forgone conclusion the way cheerleaders are dressed. It’s also such a shame that the ‘leaders’ took it on themselves to pick on the ‘downs syndrome’ girl, making sure that the bitchy stereotyping was unfortunately upheld. Life is full of pitfalls but there’s no need to prepare some yourself as a laugh. xPenx

  13. Aaron Babcock says:

    I really enjoyed this one, both funny, but also had a good point to deliver. Great job my friend.

  14. Jackie Paulson Author says:

    And with what you have said and what the commentors have said, Need I say More? I think not, well done post.

  15. gmomj says:

    It’s no fun if it’s not touchy.

    The Down-Syndrome child, now that’s just a crying shame and I hope whoever is responsible get’s some talking to.
    Good for you Hookmeister, standing up to the dad. What is up with parents who knowingly parade their daughters around half dressed and then complain when they get attention from men? HELLO??? Put some clothes on.
    The smokin’ alcopoppin’ and Lord knows what else they are poppin moms in the hotel rooms??
    I feel for those moms. You’d smoke too if you had to stand around and watch your baby girl get all the hand-pumps for being perky and bendy. Boys do love bendy.It’s a sad wake up call when it was just yesterday you were the one at the top of the pyramid not your 14 year old.

  16. eva626 says:

    you told that cheerleader dad and shut his mouth good. nice work hook!

  17. Wow. Humor and sensitive social commentary rolled into one post. Nicely done.

    This should have been pressed.

  18. charlywalker says:

    Wow..now I don’t feel so bad that I never made the team in high school…

    Nice post!

  19. xeriouslywtf says:

    Under-aged cheerleaders scare me too and I I like your work on taking down dad. No wiser words have been uttered i.e. “sometimes you have to put people in their place, but only after they’ve started something!”. So agree.

  20. Oh, come on…the big, bad, Hook couldn’t handle a bunch of little girls? Say it isn’t so! 😉

  21. brittany220 says:

    Wow the dad was kind of a jerk to call you out of all people, maybe he should have paid attention to who was talking first! He kind of reminds me of one of the dads of one of my tennis opponents. And good for you for telling the girl’s aid that she wasn’t covered up…gosh that’s awful of the other girls to do that. I’m sure it wasn’t easy bringing that up, but I’m sure she appreciated someone letting her know!

  22. bmj2k says:

    Hate Glee, love the screencaps.

  23. ernestwhile says:

    Sport with the highest incidence of injuries requiring emergency room visits? Yep, Cheerleading.

    I used to date a coach for a deaf school cheer squad, which was pretty intense. They were serious athletes, not like the ReadyOKAY I was used to in high school. As for the scanti-clad action, they should be mandating (heh… man dating) sweats in the public areas of the hotel, just as they would for other athletes.

    The damage… that’s just unsupervised teenagers. AKA hellhounds.

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