A Fantasy For Some – A Nightmare For The Hook!

Original NHL logo, used before 2005. A version...

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Let’s face it, reality is boring. Who wouldn’t want to live in a reality where you can define the parameters?

Unfortunately, sometimes people try to write a new reality for themselves at the cost of others. In this case, it’s The Hook who paid the price.

Every year my place of business hosts a National  Hockey League fantasy camp where participants plunk down thousands of dollars to play hockey and golf with ex-NHLers. The campers, mostly Alpha Males, are under the assumption the life of a NHLer consists of getting blind, stinking drunk and hitting on EVERYTHING that moves!

Actually, the campers aren’t the problem, it’s the conveners who are the nightmare.

Every single year, these yahoos storm into the hotel and change the sign to “THE DOUCHEBAG INN”! They’re rude, obnoxious and they choose to completely ignore any and all rules we have in place. The hotel graciously provides bell carts for the conveners to use to move their equipment and any gifts they hand out to campers. Their luggage is another matter entirely.

Tell that to these morons.

We tell them they can use three carts, they take seven. We tell them to let us know when they need to move their bags, they steal additional carts from our storage room and move their own bags.

The campers tip pretty well and the ex-NHLers are decent guys overall, but the schmucks who run this thing always promise to tip us well at the end but never actually do so.

Did I mention the added wrinkle this year?

A U-Haul truck pulls up and they literally throw over a hundred hockey bags and sticks on the deck for three bellmen to deliver to various campers’ rooms. It actually became two bellmen, though, when The Hook headed out an hour after his shift was supposed to end!

A guy can only take so much, right?


As the fantasy camp was winding down, a whole other nightmare was just beginning. Two words: Cheerleading Competition!

To be continued…


It turns out that the head honcho of this so-called fantasy camp did tip the bellmen – a week later! Still, it was a generous amount and now The Hook is asking anyone with a good crow recipe to send it over immediately.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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44 Responses to A Fantasy For Some – A Nightmare For The Hook!

  1. mairedubhtx says:

    Hockey camp for adults sounds like hall, but cheerleaders? That’s worse!

  2. Tom Huff says:

    Sounds like a tough crowd!

  3. raisingdaisy says:

    Geez, you should write a book! Seriously!

  4. I don’t want this to be continued at a later time–I want it to be continued now! Bother!


  5. Woman says:

    YAY!!! Good thing you left- even if it was an hour after your shift ended. Cheerleaders. Might be fun! Less luggage as they do not wear much. But they’d make up for it with extra clothes that are non uniform though.

  6. So, hockey players get “rolly thingies”, but regular people don’t? LOL.

    Can’t wait to hear about the cheerleading competition…there’s something I know about!


  7. irratebass says:

    I’m with Deborah…now!!

    Yay Cheerleaders!

  8. hawleywood40 says:

    Cheerleading competition = my worst nightmare. There are cheerleading camps hosted at my workplace over the summer and the places morphs into a squealing, schreeching, giggly drama zone.

  9. penpusherpen says:

    Just keep saying, “it’ll soon be over ” and it will. ’til the next time. 😉 xx.

  10. granny1947 says:

    Sending you a huge cyber hug…sounds like you need one…what idiots.

  11. Aargh, underage cheerleaders at a frequency only dogs and The Hook can hear ! Do you have a therapist ?

  12. Oh man. A U-Haul? That is brutal. They expect you to be a delivery man too. 😦

  13. Kim says:

    Oh, dear… awaiting part 2.

  14. Anxiously awaiting the continuation…this should be interesting!

  15. mbwilliams says:

    can’t wait for part II of this little nightmare…

  16. bmj2k says:

    I’m sorry, but did you type “nightmare” and “cheerleaders” in the same sentence?

  17. Jaan says:

    Who invented the ‘rolly thingies’ huh? by the way write soon! I enjoyed this article very much!

  18. Jeanne Heuer says:

    Give me an H, give me an O, give me an O and a K! Just getting you ready for the cheering.

  19. Oh sweet mercy…


    Will you survive?

    I’ve only just gotten to know you…

    Sooo…if you kick the bucket can I have your boombox? It’s pretty rad and I’d love to give it a good home once you’re gone.

    Just think about it bro.

  20. Ah, geez, cheeleaders. When I was on the road we ended up one stop at the same hotel that was putting up a high school cheerleading competition. I can’t even imagine having to work with them. Godspeed.

  21. aah cheerleaders…enjoy the nightmare 🙂

  22. That is a super-peachy-keen post. Thanks for really blathering on like that! Seriously, I don’t think I could have spent more effort wishing for something heavy to fall on me to erase that nonsense from my mind!

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