Fun With Horny Idiots!

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I haven’t tracked down the cause, but this Easter weekend seemed to draw every nutjob out from under every rock in The Hook’s neck of the woods.

Maybe the Easter Bunny has been hanging out with Charlie Sheen and he decided to spike the chocolate this year! I just don’t know.

So I’m making my way to a room, my cart filled with actual luggage for once, when I encounter a young couple, (He was seventeen and she was maybe sixteen at the most!) who were attempting to give each a tonsillectomy! They had planted themselves, with her on top, on one of the hall chairs situated right in the middle of the main traffic route.

Luckily, my destination was eight feet from the amorous couple and I was afforded a perfect view of two horny idiots in all their glory. Fortunately, my guests came to the door immediately but that didn’t slow down Brad and Angelina-lite, who carried on in spite of the steady stream of travellers walking by.

Once my work was done, (with a decent tip, thank God!) and I headed back to the relative sanctity of my desk, I was reminded of another young  couple, equally brazen, I encountered a few years ago.

It was another crowded holiday weekend in the dead of winter and I couldn’t help but notice our food and beverage manager was captivated by our hotel waterfall. I soon discovered it wasn’t the water that caught his attention.

“Two of our young guests are getting amorous in the waterfall.” he chuckled, and then went on his way, requesting that I allow my discretion to reign supreme over my baser instincts.

Yeah, right.

Soon there was group of fifteen of us watching a young girl slowly move up and down as her partner sat in the waterfall, his back against the glass that separated the seating area facing the pool on the other side of he waterfall. Oh, and did I mention it was 5:30 in the afternoon?

On a Saturday?

The crowd of employees was about 30 feet away and no one was in the seating area at the time. That combined with the fact the female had eyes only for her partner in carnal crime, ensured a show that seemed to last forever. Until one of out concierge decided to sit down directly across from the copulating couple!

Finally, the girl looked up and saw the concierge waving and smiling like the Cheshire cat. this prompted her to cease her labours, but her partner had other ideas. He put both hands on her shoulders and pushed down on her tiny frame – repeatedly.

But she wasn’t moving. She looked like a horny underage doe caught in the headlights of a speeding car.

After a few minutes, she slooowly got up, her partner readjusted his swim trunks, and they both finally took notice of their full audience.

Best. Holiday. Weekend. Ever!

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