Do you know why dingoes eat Australian babies?
They’re trying to do the world’s future generations a favor!
The Hook had a run-in with an Australian family this week. can you tell?
After thirty minutes of slooowly loading eight of the heaviest suitcases I’ve ever dealt with, I headed down to the lobby to wait another twenty minutes for these anteaters to show up and claim their car and ridiculously heavy bags! By the time it was all over, I had wasted over an hour on these morons and the only gratuity was a very weak “Thanks, mate!”
Apparently tipping isn’t customary in Australia. maybe that’s due to the fact it used to be a penal colony. Criminals aren’t exactly known for their hospitable nature.
AND ANOTHER THING….
After fourteen years of sacrificing countless amounts of blood, sweat and tears to the Gods of Hospitality, The Hook is in a pretty good position to comment on the current state of the industry. or at the very least, his corner of it.
Let me tell you, it suuucks!
Weekdays are an exercise in mental torture – “how much inactivity can The Hook take before he finally has that big freak-out and takes out as many douchebags as he can before the authorities arrive?’
And weekends?
Weekends leave me feeling like I’ve been a chew toy for a hungry lion. You know what I mean? He chews you up, tosses you around his mouth and then spits you out, but close enough he can still reach out and do it all over again. Part of the problem this past weekend was the return of one of the deadliest of all hospitality predators – the dreaded “Hockey Family“. 
They let their kids run wild, but not before intravenously feeding them Red Bull and two bags of pure sugar! The littel maniacs play hockey in the halls, sream in the lobby and terrorize old people who are two gasps away from seeing the White Light!
All the while, the parents are getting stone cold drunk in the room, completely oblivious to the terror they’ve knowingly unleashed on their fellow travellers. I’m sure there are many great hockey families out there, but I don’t get to deal with them.
No. I get the ones you read about – you know, the ones who have to take anger management classes before their kids are allowed to play?
Let me tell you, the hockey families I deal with aren’t doing the sport any favors.
Or for that matter, the human race.
You've Been Hooked! 
How do you manage to put up with people like the Australian family who never heard of tipping and the bad hockey families? If I were a guest and those hockey kids had been released near me, I would have screamed bloody murder!
I’m screaming inside. And in the back room sometimes.
Kids these days… I remember reading some books as a child where the author speaks of the time where children where seen and not heard. More and more as I age I wish children could be gagged!!!!!
Or fitted with shock collars.
I really love your blog and your stories about all of the various douchebags that you encounter on a daily basis.
But I just had to ask, haven’t you ever come across someone in all of your daily encounters throughout your entire career with customers and guests who is not a douchebag??? There must have been at least one person, no? Just wondering… 🙂
Keep up the great blogging, looking forward to reading more 🙂
If you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.
Great post Hook!
Thanks, man! I owe it all to the douchebags!
Oh dear…a bad day at the saltmine…I have loads of them…you just have to try and laugh it off.
I’ll keep trying!
The dingo ate my baby! The dingo ate my baby!
That line always cracked me up. Yup, when you have a prison colony, the gene pool isn’t the greatest. That means Hook has to deal with defective descendants.
I sure do! “Defective descendants” – I love it!
Yeah, but what about all the contributions Austrailia made to the world, like, uh, ,,, yeah….
See? Except for Crocodile Dundee, the Australians haven’t given The Hook much to be happy about.
A fabulous rant. Experiencing a bit of schadenfreude at your expense. Thanks for the laugh.
New Zealand is much like Australia. When I was traveling in NZ, I spent Christmas Eve in a small town pub (as you do). I tried to tip the bartender and he gave me a lecture on how you don’t tip in New Zealand.
So, I went outside and flirted with Santa, who was driving a firetruck, offering rides to boys and girls who had been good that year.
You flirted with Santa? You bad girl!
HAHAHAHAHA.
Those first two lines, made me laugh out loud.
Good one!
Thanks! Glad to have you back.
Try a shoulder charge into the Reception Desk next time !
“He bounced off me , Ref ! ” 🙂
Very nice! And you kept in line with the theme – good work.
You should tell them that there are travel guides where they tell a person whether to give tips or not.
It’s a slippery slope when dealing with totally ignorant travellers.
Keith Urban is Austrailian…and beautiful…it can’t all be bad. Hockey families are kinda like the families with the little girls that model aren’t they? I am gonna say terrorists…but I don’t really know any of either, so I could be wrong.
You’re never wrong, Princess. But these people were horrible.
Ah Hook, you never, EVER, fail to crack me up! I would just LOVE to be a fly on the wall as you work, watching as your patience thins while you try to maintain the professional manner!
Genius 🙂
Thanks! Good to have you blogging again.
Amazing how working with the public makes one long for the power to shoot lighting bolts.
That would be sooo cool!
Oh dear…I didn’t know about Australians not tipping…they do have incredibly sexy accents though…
Out-of-control kids in public…boo…
Wendy
Their accents ARE pretty hot, aren’t they?
Ohhhhhhhhh I totally LOVE the picture of the dingo!! Could I please borrow it?? I’ll give ya credit of course.
Go right ahead.
Hahahahaha…I had to type that coz LOL just seemed lame. ROFL is more like it! I’m so sorry you were terrorized by the ‘Hockey’ family, and yet thankful, so thankful that it was you and not me 😛
Unfortunately…I recently had a run-in of my own recently and since they were family…well…you know how this ends…not well for me!
My heart goes out to you.