More Sunday Morning Fun With The Hook!

Another Sunday morning check-out has come and gone. As usual, things went as smoothly as the fall of Saigon.

There were a few douchebags who stood head and shoulders above the rest like the group of twenty-something guys who stumbled over to the Bell Desk looking to store their gym bags, booze and dirty shoes. Just picture the Entourage cast, but ugly and poor. After tossing their things onto a bell cart with all the care you would show a bag of garbage, one of them decided to pose the greatest question you can ask of a bellman.

RANDOM UGLY GUEST: Will my laptop be safe?

Just what do you say to that? Even if our storage room wasn’t safe, I sure as hell wasn’t going to share that knowledge with this moron!

Then there was the family of five, Mom, Dad, the two Miley Cyrus wannabee daughters and the obviously high son. The son begins to place his laptop bag on the cart and then stops to pose the same question as the previous douchebag. After giving him the usual assurances, he places the bag down and then the Mom  and both sisters took turns pushing the bag further down on the cart.   

THE HOOK: (Addressing the dad) – Sir, would you like to touch the sacred laptop and pray for its safety?

The kids just stood there stunned. Fortunately, Mom and Dad roared.

Our final victim of the day is a true master of the obvious. After waiting a full fifteen minutes for his Bree Olson wannabee girlfriend to finish packing (while her cheap perfume attacked my nasal passages like Agent Orange!) we made our way to his car.

 As he looked at the 2.5 million water droplets running across his tricked-out Fast and the Furious wannabee Honda he spoke words that will live on in The Hook’s memory forever…

EMINEM WANNABEE: Did it rain? 


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About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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31 Responses to More Sunday Morning Fun With The Hook!

  1. darthsaeris says:

    People are fucking priceless! Did it rain indeed… lol

  2. mairedubhtx says:

    I love people who ask obvious questions. Sounds like you had a lot of them this morning.

  3. melsar93 says:

    I’d be concerned too if it rained on my laptop.


  4. bmj2k says:

    I need to back in The Hook Archives and see how many times you’ve mentioned Bree Olsen. Maybe it’s time to run another picture of her?

  5. Another great post. I really enjoy your blog very much. I have been lucky enough to travel my whole life. The experiences you have traveling can be amazing.

    Useful Travel and Vacation Tips

  6. Artswebshow says:

    lol. why do people ask such silly questions? 😀

  7. There’s nothing like the smell of cheap perfume on a Sunday morning. 😉

  8. mindslam says:

    LMAO….Man, that was great as always! Your awesome…love the way you tell us the stories of your days!

  9. mbwilliams says:

    douchebag – what an awesome word!!! Great read, as ever Hook!

  10. eva626 says:

    hahaha “random ugly guest”!!! haha i just hate the miley cyrus wana bees!!! i love the names you give people…you should make a post on the names u would give your commenters…that would be funny

  11. Ahahaha did you really say that to the dad?

  12. There s nothing like the smell of a cheap perfume which you cant stand… The worst place where it can bother you the most is in a crowded lift… I just hold my breath as long as i can… If that doesn’t work then there s nothing else you can do…

  13. brittany220 says:

    Wow haha, it’s interesting hearing about even more great people that you get to deal with!

  14. Pingback: Sunday is a Day of Rest? Not For The Hook! « You've Been Hooked!

  15. Caroline says:

    I really wonder about people sometimes, as I’m sure you do every hour of every day! And Miley…not looking too classy in these photos.

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