Let’s Call This One…”The Fluffer Story!”

They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but sometimes a dictionary can be a man’s greatest asset.

As a rule I don’t like to write about people I work with – it just doesn’t seem fair to them. I mean, most people wouldn’t pull as many dumbass stunts if they knew some idiot with a blog was waiting to immortalize them.

But if they leave for greener pastures? All bets are off.

A former co-worker was dealing with a prospective guest who was scouting locations for a film project, specifically the type of film usually shot in the back of a van or a warehouse. You know what type of “film” I’m referring to? Bree Olson does.

At any rate, The Hook’s former co-worker became quite excited at the prospect of a project of this nature being shot in his vicinity and decide to extend the parameters of the conversation. In short, he decided to offer his services to the gentleman.

Very. Big. Mistake.

Nevertheless, he rushed in, as they say fools often do, and sealed his fate with one simple sentence.

“If you need a fluffer, I’m available!”

Now, at this point you’re either laughing uncontrollably or thinking, “What’s a fluffer?”

According to Reference.com, A fluffer  is a hired member of the crew of a pornographic movie whose role on the set is to sexually arouse the male participants prior to the filming of scenes requiring erections. Today, many adult film stars maintain that fluffers are a thing of the past, needed in the 1970s and 1980s when the crew, shooting on celluloid, needed much more time to prepare a shot. Erectile dysfunction drugs such as Viagra have also played a part in replacing fluffers. A fluffer also has the duty of keeping adult film stars “cleaned up” in between takes or during photo shoot set-ups, so that the actors or models do not have to move from their positions. These duties are considered part of the makeup department. After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to “fluff” the actors for the shot.

You see, The Hook cares about his loyal readers enough to constantly strive to broaden their horizons. You’ve Been Hooked! – where education is king! Now if only someone had taken the time to educate the young clerk in question, who was under the impression a fluffer serviced the female cast members of an adult film.

I know, I know, “Why would he ever ask such a question?” and “Is it even possible to “fluff” a female in the first place?”

I have no idea – to both questions. Nevertheless, he did ask the question and after telling me the story, I decided to indulge my inner devil and let him repeat the tale a few times before explaining the nature of  his error.

I guess I can be a douche at times, after all…

  On a final note – since the first one was such a hit, here’s another gratuitous shot of Bree Olson.

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About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

56 Responses to Let’s Call This One…”The Fluffer Story!”

  1. Ironic Mom says:

    Well, that just expanded some things. And I’m talking about my vocabulary, if you’re wondering.

  2. I laughed when I read the title. I just had to see how you fit in this story. Nice to know it’s fluffer by association. 😉

  3. bmj2k says:

    Whoa, whoa, this is almost unfair. Did they accept his offer? Did he show up and run out in horror after he found out what they wanted? Did he discover something about himself he didn’t suspect and take the job? Did he try to back out but they forced him to keep his word? What happened?

  4. Joe says:

    At my place of employment, the produce department of my local WalMart, when you do not have enough of a certain fruit or vegetable to fill its section you do the best you can to make it appear full by pushing what you have towards the front, etc. This is known, in my store anyway, as “fluffing.”
    One day I was in the break room with my dept. manager and another produce associate. My manager asked me if I was finished fluffing my area. I replied that I was, then I suggested she might want to be careful who she used that phrase around.
    I was met with blank stares by both associates. I said, “Because there’s another meaning…to…fluffing.”
    More blank stares.
    “Never mind,” I said before beating a hasty retreat so as to not ruin my already questionable reputation.

    By the way, my knowledge of the term is due only (I swear) to reading a review of the (non pornographic) 2001 film ‘The Fluffer’ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245115/) and a reference during the ‘Family Guy’ episode where Brian briefly becomes a porn movie director.

  5. mindslam says:

    I have never heard it called a “fluffer”, although I knew somebody probably had to have that job. Guess your former co-worker wish he had never heard of that word either…lol great stuff man, made me smile at work again!

  6. Kim says:

    I don’t write about my colleagues either (I don’t write a lot as you know), because my complaints would be, like 9384 pages long.

  7. Jackie Paulson 1966 says:

    I learned what Fluffer means, and I agree with (joe) as to learning this term and watch how we use the term. Thanks for the info but I love the photo (a big success), and no I am not gay or lesbo! 🙂

  8. Hmmm…I learned something new today…not sure where I’ll ever use it though…

    Wendy

  9. This is a perfect example of knowing for sure what a word means before opening your mouth!

  10. Aaack, are her ribs gonna poke through her skin?

  11. Aaron Babcock says:

    Never volunteer for anything, especially in the porn industry.

  12. Funny as always. I knew what a fluffer was (oh well, such things seep in somehow) but I hadn’t encountered Bree Olson before your posts. See, we all live and learn.

    • The Hook says:

      Yes we do! Olson owes Sheen her life for making her mainstream. I have a feeling she’s going to milk their connection for all its worth.

  13. Tom Huff says:

    cheesss…. lol!

  14. timkeen40 says:

    It must be a tough day on the job for the average porn male, standing around being aroused – er, fluffed – while waiting to go to….uh….work.

    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

  15. doronio says:

    Man. Working at your hotel seems more entertaining than mine. All we get are crotchety, old people & business travelers…

  16. writernubbin says:

    I was thinking of pillows needing fluffing not, er, uh, — I am totally grossed out. I’m ruined. Now, not only am I blind, I’m deaf. Hook…you’re killing me dude. Waay more information than granny needs these days…

  17. 36x37 says:

    Ha! And here I thought a fluffer was someone with a fetish for animal costumes. Whoa, I’m glad you set me straight.

    I have to admit, I’m pretty into the shoes Bree is wearing.

  18. NIce picture…totally made me forget what the hell you were talking about again…I am sure it made me laugh though 🙂

  19. darthsaeris says:

    Oh man, what a foolish fool! I would think a wetter would be a good name for the fluffing of a female. Or a moistener? Lol

  20. oldancestor says:

    **hangs head in shame for knowing what a fluffer is**

    Despite my shame, your story was pretty damn funny.

    That former co-worker earned a spot in your hall of infamy.

  21. Oh…no…that is something I could’ve done without knowing, because now I’m going to find a terrible use for it. I know myself too well.
    And to think I thought I was getting too old to learn something new!

  22. brittany220 says:

    Haha wow, I have never heard of a fluffer before, sounds like a terrible mistake to say you’ll be one though, ew!

  23. Diane C says:

    Okay, I know I come to this post almost two years late, but I just had to add that in my family “fluffing” meant farting and so a “fluffer” was the person who committed such a social indiscretion. LOL.

  24. Absolutely hysterical!

  25. if bree olsen is getting ready to have sexual relations on that rock, her back is not going to thank her!

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