“March Break”? Yeah, Right.

RANDOM GUEST: Could I have one of those cart things, or do you have to take it?

THE HOOK: Did we take your bags in for you sir?

RANDOM GUEST: Why yes, you did.

THE HOOK: Then we’ll take you out! (The Hook’s smile turns into a smirk) Happily, in fact.

RANDOM GUEST: Okay! I’ll see you then! (Random Guest walks away without giving room number or name.)

Welcome to The Hook’s March Break 2011 – Douchebag Edition, guaranteed to culminate in a write-up for yours truly. It’s only the mid-week point and I’ve already had my fill of the hordes of tiny little maniacs, their veins filled to bursting with sugar, msg, Red Bull (it’s true, I’ve seen it!) all of which creates the equivalent of Tiger Blood for kids!

THE KIDS I DEAL WITH AREN'T THIS BAD, BUT CLOSE.

THE KIDS I DEAL WITH AREN'T THIS BAD, BUT CLOSE.

I shouldn’t be so hard on the little nut jobs though, they’re only being kids after all. The problem originates with the parents, disillusioned with their lives and eager to dump their rugrats off at the pool so they can return to the room and consume as much alcohol as is humanely possible, stopping just short of inducing blindness.

It’s fun to watch people indulge in the “vacation diet for kids”, consisting of big bottles of pop (soda if you’re American), Price Club-size chips, cookies and loaves of bread. No butter, just dry bread, which kids apparently love. Children also love to have plastic bags strapped to their little frames while they drag suitcases twice their size down the crowded corridors of a hotel lobby at the height of check-in time.

At least that’s I witness every day during March Break 2001 – Douchebag Edition.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to “March Break”? Yeah, Right.

  1. preachersdaughter69 says:

    LOL Thanks for the much needed laugh!

  2. eva626 says:

    haha this is a great post Hook! lol…i still indulge on dry bread hahaha. so what did you do with the random guest’s stuff???

  3. They would keep you busy for sometime now… They arent much trouble… Are they? 😉 Wonder what happened to the random guests bags… Nice post though… Have a great day…:)

  4. penpusherpen says:

    I’m surprised you haven’t had a half drowned rug-rat if they’re on Red Bull,…. sheesh!! …Happy Holidays!! xx

  5. mindslam says:

    It bet it is wild the things you get to see & hear. Should be unlimited on things to write about…that was really good!

  6. dtrasler says:

    You know, when I think my life is hard, I either read your blog or look at news from Japan. There, I just compared your life to a major national disaster….

    • The Hook says:

      Don’t worry about it, I get the point. Believe me, Gilbert Gottfried and 50Cent have made worse blunders where the Japanese situation is concerned this week.

  7. Kids like bread without butter??! That just cannot be right!!

  8. inidna says:

    Ah Mr. Hook, always reliable for the laugh that I very much need! Those kids look like they’re from Lord of the Flies … Except those kids didn’t have war paint on their faces, did they? Haha What a crazy bunch to be surrounded by! Especially running around on a constant sugar high–well done for surviving so long 😉

  9. bmj2k says:

    Nice job. Aren’t kids cute? And it is pop in certain parts of America too. In fact, it is geographical. In certain parts it is soda, in other parts it is pop, in other parts it is soda pop, and in yet other parts, mostly Southern, it is Coke no matter what the brand it is. (Yes, as in a Pepsi Coke.)

  10. You need some sort of zap gun so that you can hide behind huge plants and pick them off like…………Leslie Nielsen would have. 🙂

  11. belle says:

    As usual, your post has made me ‘lol’. Thanks for the continued giggles x

  12. writernubbin says:

    I’ve used water from a spray bottle with good results…I think I would be fired from that job 😉

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