January 1, 2011 – All over the world people are slowly opening their bloodshot eyes to a new year. But never mind hangovers, if you want to really understand suffering try facing New Year’s Day in a hotel!
Thousands of cranky,half-drunk morons who can barely face the world on a good day, never mind one that follows a night of debauchery.
Someone neglected to inform one gentleman of the fact the celebration was over, and so he proceeded to stumble about the lobby complaining of phantom leg and back pain. That soon passed though, and he pretended to be a collie and remained in a kneeling position until the police arrived. I’m sure they had nothing better to do than deal with Jojo the 50-year-old Dog Faced Boy.
Of course, there are loads of decent souls peppered among the miserable masses but even they can be a handful at times.
Consider the case of the eight Latin cougars who had two SUVs to carry 13 bags. Sounds like child’s play for an experienced bellman, right?
“Just put the bags anywhere, honey. It doesn’t matter what goes where.”
Actually, when one vehicle only holds two small bags behind the seats and the other 11 have already been loaded in the other vehicle on the other side of the deck in the pouring rain, it does matter.
But I’m not bitter, just soaked and still puzzled by fate’s fascination with using my testicles as ping pong balls.
See you in the lobby, kids…