“Weekend Hookers”

I think most of us can agree that as a modern society, we tend to size each other up pretty quickly. After toiling in the hospitality industry for over a decade, The Hook has developed the  ability to assess a guest’s station in life with a single glance.

It’s true;  I can spot a “Weekend Hooker” a mile away.

Allow me to clarify; a “Weekend Hooker” is a young girl who has chosen to attach herself to a male, (usually older and balding; contrary to popular belief, these guys don’t look like Charlie Sheen) who is willing to open his wallet to ensure her loyalty. These girls will accompany their sugar daddies on weekend junkets, hence the term.

This is the real dark side of commercialism, folks, a section of society so entranced by brand-name labels and flashy ads that they’re willing to prostitute themselves in order to maintain some twisted status quo.

You see it all the time in high-end hotels and resorts; pretty young Snooki clones dressed to the nines, trailing behind flashy middle-aged Lotharios with bulging waistlines and thinning hairlines. Trailing behind them is a lucky bellman with a full cart of  shopping bags made up of the usual suspects – Guess, Coach, Lululemon, Juicy Couture, etc.

Image by San Diego Shooter via Flickr

And so  these girls are willing to let some idiot jump up and down on them for fifteen minutes, after which they’re sure to get a slap on the ass and a “Love ya, babe!” as they make their way to the washroom in a vain attempt to decontaminate themselves.

Trust me ladies, there are some memories no amount of soap or body wash will wipe clean.

And parents,  if you suspect your daughter is guilty of this most terrible sin, don’t be too hard on her.

Believe me, what she’s had to go through is punishment enough.

See you in the lobby, kids…