Author Archives: The Hook

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.

The Hook’s Rules (Ten Of ‘em, At Least.)

Once again, the American Thanksgiving holiday is upon us and you know what that means, right? Tons of well-intentioned, super cool – even from Ned Hickson – holiday posts. Well, this isn’t one of them so don’t get any ideas. … Continue reading

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Five Minutes of My Life.

Experiment time, kids! Here is a brief snippet of my day, written before the first call of my shift. And nothing more. Shall we begin? So, despite my best efforts to the contrary, Sunday is here. Again. At the moment, … Continue reading

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Things Running Through My Mind Right Now.

Yes, I’m still distracted by life. And its early. You know what that means, don’t you? It’s list time! 1)  “Why’s it so warm in the lobby? Oh yeah, Engineering fixed the heat! They didn’t just say they fixed the … Continue reading

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Ever Wonder How A Bellman’s Day Begins?

A young female guest on the street with a Tom Baker-era Doctor Who hat and scarf. Two ultra-horny middle-aged guests furiously dry-humping in the foyer of the hotel’s employee entrance. A faulty punch clock. (Gotta love modern technology, right?) Two … Continue reading

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Even A Quiet Murdoch Monday Has Its Moments.

My shift today has been as vacant and desolate as Kim Kardashian’s conscience. However, that doesn’t mean it’s been completely boring… GIGGLY GIRL:  We’re so glad to be here! We’re from London and we love it here! Thanks for helping … Continue reading

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THE HOOK’S BEDROOM: 2:30 am. I awoke, dizzy, feverish and uncovered. Desperately, I yanked and tugged (at the covers… perverts) until the wife relented – an hour later. An hour after that, our daughter wandered in, overtime by an asthma … Continue reading

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A New Post (sorta) From The Hook!

So here’s the Saturday morning deal, kiddies: I was working on a Saturday morning post that spun out of an encounter I had with two sex kittens in one of the hotel’s north tower elevators (don’t get your heart racing … Continue reading

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