5×5 With The Hook: Jennie Saia

WordPress is filled with bloggers of every variety who explore every topic known to mankind – with varying degrees of success, of course.

But there is only one Jennie Saia.

I have to give her props – as the kids day – for a kick-ass “About” page and a random post generator page named the very tip (love it!), that is brilliance personified. Jennie’s sense of humor is wicked cool and always hits the mark. And her willingness to expose herself has earned her a spot in my Blogger Hall of Fame. (I’m speaking figuratively, of course. Read this post and be enlightened. Perverts.)

1)  Your favorite 80’s video is…

   My favorite one has to be Bowie and Jagger doing “Dancing In The Street,” because of its glorious weirdness. Huge mouths, goofy dance movies, and wildly intense homo-eroticism from two sexy dudes… what’s not to love?

   But if I can cheat and also pick something from the brilliantly snarky Literal Video series, then I’m going with Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Just watch it, and cackle as the re-dubbed lyrics describe exactly what’s happening on screen.

2)  If you were cast as a Bond girl what would your name – rich in double entendre, of course – be?

   According to this Bond Girl Name Generator, I’d be Bunnylicious Fagina. But dammit, James, I can do better! My personal choice would be Vulva Las Vegas. Glitzy, in your face, and with a theme song already established!

size 6

BOND GIRLS ALWAYS WEAR BIKINIS SO THIS MAKES SENSE!
HOWEVER, IF MY WIFE IS VIEWING THIS… I LOVE YOU.

3)  You’ve been walking this earth since 1984, what has been the most positive advancement you’ve seen in your lifetime, Jennie?

   Oh, here comes the profound question. This felt a little too easy… I think the general trend toward acceptance of all of people and lifestyles is growing. There are days when I feel so frustrated by the slow pace of progress, and sometimes we even move backwards. (I’m looking at you, Russia, Uganda, and oh — hello, my home state!) But overall, the media now shows things that would have been considered shocking by the general public in 1984.

   While there will always be some horrible people who can’t handle an adorable Cheerios commercial, I love imagining that the history books will someday call out those individuals as the ones who tried to stop the tide of enlightenment.

4)  Use a single word to describe your marriage.

Uplifting!

(Told you she was cool.)

5)  What inspiring thoughts run through your delicious mind as you compete in a marathon?

Well, you could read my post about marathon day and find out… but I’ll give you the short version, Hook, because I know you have places to be! (And because I’m a big fan of the phrase “delicious mind.” BRAIINNNSSSSS…) It goes something like this:

Miles 1-3: I am a graceful gazelle! I am part of the powerful herd of humanity!
Miles 4-13: All these cheering spectators love me!  :D People are awesome!
Miles 14-17: I’m only HALFWAY DONE?! What the ever-loving hell was I thinking?! Urgh, and the lines for bathrooms are so long…
Miles 17-21: I’M NOT HUMAN. I AM A PIECE OF IRON. (This is when I started counting to 100 over and over and over, just to pass the time. As Haruki Murakami wrote, I become a machine.)
Miles 22-24: I’m gonna do this thing. It might not be pretty, and I might make funny noises, but it’s gonna happen. Cue Fun.’s anthem “One Foot.”Miles 25-26.2: I’m walking on sunshine, woooah… and don’t it feel good!

Mile NO MORE MILES TO GO: Nothing in my lifetime has ever felt as peaceful as relaxing on the sun-warmed grass after that race. It was so, so worth it.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

And with that victorious shot, I bid you farewell, my friends. My thanks to Jennie for kicking blogging butt nine ways to Sunday and for maintaining the high standards established by her predecessors. I’m out of here – for now.

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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127 Responses to 5×5 With The Hook: Jennie Saia

  1. Hey! I know her! It’s always a cheap thrill when the 5×5 is about someone I know. It’s like spotting a celebrity. She’s a good writer. Gooder than most.

    Can ANY Bond girl name beat Pussy Galore? Not likely. How did Fleming get away with that, I’ve always wondered? Have you ever read any of those books? They’re chocked-full of misogyny, xenophobia and objectification. In other words, the good old days.

    Murakami is one of my favs. Norwegian Wood = sexy/sad. But I won’t touch 1Q84. 1,000+ pages!? WTF, Haruki?! Get an editor, pal.

    Go, Jennie! Post! Post! Post!

    • Trent Lewin says:

      Hello Pussy… I still remember the way Connery says that… priceless.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Bang on, Mark.

      • samara says:

        OMG – you are two peas in a pod. WTF? Mark did that Connery “Poo-shay” thing on my blog months ago.

        You’re bonding over Bond. A Bromance.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Yeah, but I think he’s more of a Lazenby and I’m kind of like a Craig. It’s a different sort of Bond, but we’re all good with the ladies.

      • samara says:

        You’re a Craig?

        Oh, no. Please don’t make me have a blog crush. That would be weird.

        Did that just get weird?

      • Trent Lewin says:

        I’m kind of picturing Mark dressed as Lazenby and what his moves might be like… a bit stiff, a bit herky-jerky, but otherwise pretty effective. I’d man-crush him in a second.

        Nope, nothing weird here. Move along.

      • samara says:

        You are so fucking funny, I actually really did spit up while drinking tea – with that description of Mark as Lazenby-
        Are you this funny in real life?

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Only when I’m flying around in my douchecanoe firebombing station wagons. There, see? Most of my humour comes from you! And I spell humour with a “u”, so it’s extra funny.

      • Jennie Saia says:

        Mark is pretty. And he has a cute dog. And “poo-shay” made me scream-laugh.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Meh. He’s all right.

      • People scoff at George Lazenby but On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is acatually a very good Bond film. He was a much better Bond than those poo-shays from the 70s or 80s.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        I didn’t mind Dalton. And I really liked Moore. But Brosnan, by the end, was making the worst movies in the entire series, and I will never forgive him for that.

      • I forgot about Dalton. I liked him, too. But I disagree Moore. He stunk and almost sunk the franchise. He made me not care. Have you seen Moonraker. Not only the worst Bond movie but, quite possibly, the worst movie ever made. Daniel Craig is the bomb, though. Easily the best since Connery.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Yeah but he made The Spy Who Loved Me, and really, Moonraker is just a remake of that movie, except in space. I remember Moonraker from when I was a wee little one, it made an impression… plus Jaws became a good guy!

      • Thank God Ian Fleming was too dead to see Jaws. Because it would have killed him.

        If you haven’t already, you should read those original novels. They’re from a different era. From when the sun never set on the British empire.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Dude, I would rather read your blog.

  2. Nadia says:

    Vulva Las Vegas. That is just brilliant.
    Jennie, you’re one of the bloggers here whose writing I admire tons. And now also your ability to run a marathon… Go Jennie!!!

  3. Brenda says:

    Wow, impressive mental resolution. And Vulva Las Vegas is hilarious. How did Ian Fleming miss that one?

  4. Trent Lewin says:

    Hook, I don’t usually read blogs before work, but I quickly flipped through my reader and given that this is about Jennie, I had to stop and read. I have to say, she is every bit as cool and classy as I had suspected, such a wonderful personality that sort of exudes radioactive waves of goodness and happiness and like, exuberance. There, my long word for the day. Jennie, you totally rock, and bonus points from me for liking TEOTH. However, that vulture pose… that’s a bit offside. What a brilliant, genuine weirdo.

  5. Jennie’s my favourite pixie. But then, everybody knows that. We give each other so much love on the internet, people have begun to talk.

  6. Britt says:

    Charming! Thanks for the introduction, Hook. We could all use a bit more youth and beauty and light and goodness with our morning coffee. These 5 x 5’s are filling my Reader with a variety of gems.

  7. Twindaddy says:

    I just recently met Jennie. I’ve been impressed so far.

  8. Paul says:

    Hmmm, I’ve never met Jenie – time to go see what the excitement is all about…

  9. Like what Exile said way up at the top of the page, it is fun for me to see who you feature and makes me feel kind of awesome when it is someone I follow already!

    Keep up the awesome interviews, my friend.

  10. I didn’t even have to READ this to know I’d like it… :) I love me some Jennie

  11. What a wonderful post. I thought the marathon photo was the best, as it displayed a remarkable insight into how to draw a fellow’s attention. The cat person photo was obviously a close second; a little Nastassja Kinski channelling going on there.

    So pleased to make Jennie’s acquaintance.

    • Jennie Saia says:

      You’re very kind, and it’s nice to know you as well. I have to laugh though, because the reality of that slightly-blurry marathon photo is that I was actually panting, red-faced, and mentally yelling at my knees for locking up – the only attention I was hoping for were more awesome spectators with funny motivational signs!

  12. samara says:

    WHAT? Is NO ONE going to talk about how Jennie ROCKS A BIKINI? What, is that OFF LIMITS? I’m still kinda new here, is there some unspoken rule about this?
    She’s BABE-A-LICIOUS! (Maybe because I’m a girl I can get away with saying this. But Mark and Trent were TOTALLY thinking it.)

    I’m so happy to see her here. She’s a bright shining light on WordPress, but underneath all that glitter and sparkles is SUBSTANCE and POWER- she gives me hope, she makes me feel, she inspires me.

    I love this woman. Thanks, Hook.

    • Trent Lewin says:

      I was going to make a comment… but noooo, I decided to concentrate on her total class and niceness. It wasn’t easy. I’m glad we got you hereabouts though Samara, to make it right.

    • Trent Lewin says:

      Also, is it bad that I like the vulture picture more than the bikini one??? Tell me I’ll be okay, S.

      • samara says:

        The vulture picture is also hot.

        I can’t explain it.

        Jennie really turns me on. She’s my sister wife. But you guys probably didn’t know that, did you? Yes. It’s true.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        I did not know that. There’s something predatory about that picture, like she’s about to pounce on a mailman. Poor guy probably had it coming, delivering mail and all. What a bumpkin. I had a friend who used to climb up chimneys at parties and crouch like a vulture… Jennie wears vulture better than he did though. She also reminds me of a gopher. A weird, twisted gopher that just swallowed a golf ball.

        What on earth is a sister wife? It sounds kind of incestuous.

      • samara says:

        I kind of made it up.

        Technically,in polygamy,it would mean we were both married to the same man.

        But here in blog world, it’s that – minus the man.

        I’m infatuated with her. I can’t help it. I wrote about it in my Sunshine acceptance post, ages ago – that I have a big girl crush on her.

      • Trent Lewin says:

        Okay, now this is getting weird. Let’s agree that both Jennie and you are awesome, k. And now back to my incredibly well-sized glass of wine.

      • Jennie Saia says:

        I do, too. ;) You know I’ve always wanted to intimidate someone (anyone), so I rather enjoy the creepiness factor.

    • Jennie Saia says:

      SUBSTANCE and POWER balance out the rest, I think. :) You’re a wonderful friend, sister-wife, and hell, I did work hard for that bikini photo. I never achieved a pull-up, but I could do over a minute of real push-ups for the first time in my life!

    • Ditto. Thanks, Samara, you said it all. Go, Jennie!

  13. Jennie Saia says:

    Reblogged this on Tip of My Tongue and commented:
    Come read the nice, funny things this nice funny man says about me!

    Need more incentive?

    …I also reveal what my Bond Girl name would be.

  14. There are no words!!! The woman is legend!

  15. Jennie Saia says:

    Hook, that is BY FAR the best interpretation of “money shot” I have ever seen! Money MONEY! This is awesome – I had no idea what you were going to add in your own words, and you’ve just delighted me. Vulva Las Vegas would give you a kiss on the cheek if she were here!

    • Jennie Saia says:

      Hey, I was thinking… you need a blog plaque that says “I’ve Been Hooked” so all your interviewees can proudly display it on their blogs… any interest?

      • The Hook says:

        Definitely, Jennie!
        Unfortunately, despite years of blogging experience, I am ridiculously challenged when it comes to web badges and the like.
        If you or any of our mutual friends know their way around the mysteries of code, I’d be much obliged.

  16. The Waiting says:

    Jennie is one of the few bloggers I have had the pleasure of meeting in real life, and she is just as wonderful as she is on her blog. Fantastic interview, guys!

  17. TJLubrano says:

    Loved this, my fabulous dancing lady! And you as well! You look fabulous in your bikini and I’m just in awe of you running the marathon. At the moment I simply do not have the discipline to train for something like this. So…*tips of hat*

    And your Bond name! Just…oh my gosh. I pictured you stage-diving out of a giant cake now. Don’t ask me why.

    • Jennie Saia says:

      I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO JUMP OUT OF A CAKE!! How did you know?

      P.S. Your updates about Elevenses are so exciting!

      • TJLubrano says:

        OHMYGOSH! I blame magically mind-peeking hehe. :)

        Oh and thank you so much! There’s another one tomorrow. If I’m not mistaken the special guest is a lady that reminded me of you when I was done painting her. Sometimes I have this haha. *checks scheduled posts* YES! she’ll be online tomorrow! I wanted to keep it a surprise and tag you once she’s published, but I’m out and about tomorrow and you might already see the peek before I’m behind the laptop again!!

      • Jennie Saia says:

        I can’t wait! Bring me that horizon, so tomorrow can come faster. I’ve also always wanted an alter-ego. :)

  18. Jennifer says:

    No comment. Just loved this more than most. That would be all. Oh and she runs marathons.

  19. Excellent interview, as always.
    Hi Jennie. :-)

  20. Eva says:

    Hooray for Jennie! She’s a darling, little freak… I think. I mean, I hope.

  21. I think these pictures all spoke for themselves, especially the first. It just yells, I’m the funniest girl you’ll ever meet!

    • Jennie Saia says:

      I love how that guy on the other side of the street wants nothing to do with the strange woman impersonating a vulture. (True confessions time: I was actually going for “gargoyle.” We have a ton of them around our campus.)

  22. The Cutter says:

    I like her, if only for her choices in 80s videos. Literal videos are awesome!

    • Jennie Saia says:

      I’m a bit obsessed. I actually think Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything for Love” is my favorite, but that’s technically a 90s video…

  23. Daile says:

    YAY!! Jennie is awesome and how amazing does she look in that bikini? WOWZERS! My bond name is Dixie Tinkerbell which I think is far too vanilla for me…

    Also, love a good literal music clip.

  24. I have to say her taste in 80’s videos is impeccable.

  25. bethteliho says:

    *strolls in at end of party* Okay, sorry I’m late for the partay, but I brought Jell-O shots that we could either eat or use for the fight over Jennie.

    I’ve just met Jennie recently and am falling deeply, madly in love. She’s my kind of funny/weird/dynamic/talented gal. and holy shit…she is mad-gorgeous in a bikini! More than anything, though, I’m SO impressed by the marathon. I suck at running. Runners blow my mind.

    Loved getting to know her better. Great questions, Hook. Even better answers, Jennie. :)

    OH – and I have my bond girl name. Insatia Whetmore

    • Jennie Saia says:

      Shots! Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots! (What? Isn’t that what they play on the radio these days? Take me back to the 80s…)

      Beth! I have this nagging feeling that we have some insanely deep connection that I haven’t sussed out yet. Something beyond having fabulous friends in common and not being afraid to cuss online. Let’s put our sleuth hats on, eh? (I look especially fetching in mine.) Could we be long-lost sisters? Were we each other in some past life? Say… have you mastered time travel?

      Love, Someone Who Thinks You’re Funny/Weird/Dynamic/Talented, too.

      P.S. Insatia? Awesome.

  26. Pingback: Hooked! | What Would Nadia Do?

  27. Pingback: Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Jennie (By The Hook) | Tip of My Tongue

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