She’s got a whole bunch of boats. Twelve Jenny’s, big ol’ warehouse, she even has hats that says “The Bloggess” on them. “The Bloggess“. It’s a household name.
Wait, that’s Forrest Gump. My bad.
Anyway… She’s made Time magazine’s list of the 25 Best Bloggers of 2013. (They overlooked yours truly, but then again, so did everyone else, so I can’t complain. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone with a Time magazine who wasn’t sitting in a waiting room, but I trust their judgement in this case.)
She’s made converts of those old fuddie duddies at Forbes, who listed her site as one of their Top 100 Websites for Women. (It’s #1 on my list of sites for anyone.)
Her “About” page is an exercise in minimalism – and it perfectly showcases her greatest quality: the ability to draw you into her world using only a few paragraphs. I’m The Hook, but she puts my work to shame, kids.
Heck, she’s even made history as the only blogger I know with her face on a stamp. (I’m not sure how I’d feel about people licking the back of my head, but she’s a trooper.)
Her upbringing was as funny and irreverent as her writing; most kids had stuffed animals in their rooms, she had animals that were stuffed.
Like millions of you out there, my only exposure to the devilishly wonderful brain box of Jenny Lawson has come from reading her best-selling bio, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir), and her extraordinary work as her blogging alter-ego, The Bloggess.
However, I’m willing to bet the farm (If I had a farm to bet, that is. But I don’t, because I can ‘t even say the word “hoe” without laughing, never mind use one to tend crops. But I digress.), that if you asked her – which I forgot to, unfortunately – she’d tell you she was a storyteller, not an author.
And that distinction, kids, is what makes her so damn cool and worthy of our respect and adoration. Not the book sales. Not the awards. Not even the charitable work she does under the radar. (Although, in this day and age, those efforts qualify her for sainthood.)
Back when the Earth was new and people didn’t have electronic devices, television or books to occupy their time, they turned to storytellers to escape their meager, hardscrabble lives. These individuals transported them to new and exciting worlds far beyond the limits of their imaginations. Hell, back in the day, storytellers were the internet.
So being a chronicler of events both real and imagined is an awesome responsibility as it entails carrying a torch that has been burning bright for centuries. And Jenny Lawson is a great storyteller. And with that intro out of the way, we can get to the reason we’re all here…. 5×5 With The Hook.
1) You’re a best-selling writer and a devoted, hardcore Whovian; would you rather face down a Weeping Angel or a critic? I’m used to critics. And quite often they help you grow in fantastic ways. Unless they’re just assholes. I’d rather deal with an asshole than a Weeping Angel. I have more practice with assholes.
Yes. My favorite food is food I don’t have to prepare. Also good? Free and filled with rum.
Hook’s Note: You see what she did there? The Bloggess can do more with a few lines than I’ve been able to do in an entire book. I bow to her grace.
3) Like myself, you’ve been married a gazillion years; is there anything your husband, Victor, doesn’t know about you?
He doesn’t know I’m really answering questions about rum rather than doing my quarterly taxes. He would not be pleased.
4) The best gift a fan has ever given you?
A kitten. I couldn’t keep it, but it slept at my signing table for hours and in the end I think someone adopted it. It was awesome ans everyone in line whispered with me so the kitten wouldn’t wake up. Those are my kind of people.
5) Your favorite lounging around/zoning out outfit? A panda outfit. For real.
I started this feature to shine a positive light of hope across the vast patches of darkness that threaten to dominate the internet. Jenny Lawson uses her talents to do the same. Sure, she has her days when her rheumatoid arthritis, OCD, ADD, depression, and anxiety disorder threaten to overwhelm her, but she continues to pump out moxie at a superhuman rate.
She is a kick-ass, super cool mom. A loving, irreverent, never boring (ever!), wife. She is a signer of books. A writer of columns and blog posts. In fact, I’m still dumbfounded by the fact someone hasn’t founded The First Church of The Bloggess. Of course, now that I think about it…
Any way, if she can do all that and inspire millions in the process, then there’s no reason we can’t all dig deep when things look bleak and pull out a win.
All right, all this positivity is starting to mess with my equilibrium, so I’m out of here. See you in the lobby, folks….
One last detail before I go: Normally my 5×5 guests will answer your comments, but to say Jenny’s schedule is busy would be like suggesting the Daleks are merely acting out, so I’ll step in when necessary, okay? (If you didn’t get the Dalek reference don’t sweat it, not every one speaks geek.)
Before we part ways yet again: To everyone who has responded to my last post – including the blogging gods and goddesses at Mount WordPress who Freshly Pressed me - thank you from the bottom of my heart. I was concerned the post in question would be misinterpreted, but you’ve all responded in your usual caring, generous manner.
You rock. Take a pat on the back for yourselves out of petty cash.
See you in the lobby, folks…
I WROTE A BOOK. HERE’S WHAT THE BACK LOOKS LIKE.