Help A Hook Out, Will Ya?

Tomorrow promises to be a big day, kids.

Tomorrow I’m going to step out of my own way and devote my energies to the most noble mission in the world: being a dad that moves mountains for his family.

Mothers get plenty of credit. Dads? Not so much. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that far too many dads are of the deadbeat variety. There are millions of great dads out there, of course. But unfortunately, a select number of my brethren tend to cut bait and skedaddle when it comers to guiding another human being through life while providing for their every need.

Some guys get pretty mortified when they realize it takes – in some cases, unfortunately – scant seconds to make a child, but a lifetime to raise one and ensure they don’t turn out to be the next Kim Kardashian… or a serial killer… or a lawyer. To be fair, there are plenty of challenges to deal with as a parent, not the least of which is…

  • Ensuring the kid doesn’t glue the cat to the wall.  (Tip: Keep solvent on hand at all times.)
  • Preventing the kid from gluing you to the wall.
  • Paying attention. Always. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve zoned out, only to hear a crash five minutes later and a major dressing down from my spouse immediately after.
  • Feeding the kid after the chips, pop and Pop Tarts run out.  (Tip: Never run out of junk food when your spouse leaves the home.)

Personally, I shudder to think how Sarah would have turned out if I had to raise her alone.

Heck, I dropped her so many times growing up, we had to put body armor on the kid just to get her through the Terrible Twos….

But I digress.

My point – and I do have one, I swear – is this: I could use your help tomorrow, so please follow these directions…

  1. Read tomorrow’s post.
  2. Marvel at my masterful control of the English language and my razor-sharp wit and charm.
  3. Reflect on the many times I’ve made you laugh. (All two of ‘em.)
  4. Reblog if you feel so inclined.
  5. Pray to whichever deity you worship for my success.
  6. Indulge in sacrificial ritual if you feel it will help. (Just promise to leave my name out of it should the authorities become involved.)

One last thing: I’ll owe anyone who helps me out so if you want The Hook in your debt, tune in tomorrow.

Same Hook time.

Same Hook station.

See you tomorrow, my friends.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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89 Responses to Help A Hook Out, Will Ya?

  1. MishaBurnett says:

    [to be read in a raspy Sicilian accent] “Some day, and that day may never come, there will come a time when you are in a position to do a favor for me…”

  2. Kayjai says:

    Innnnnteresting…I shall be here tomorrow. And good luck for whatever it is you need good luck for. Yeah.

  3. Cayman Thorn says:

    Misha stole my thunder on this one. Okay Papi, you have our attention….

  4. I can’t bear the suspense!

  5. TBM says:

    What do you have up your sleeve, Hookster?

  6. You are ALWAYS hatching something…

  7. Littlesundog says:

    I’m sleeping in tomorrow… yes, even farm girls take a morning off now and then! I promise though, I’ll be here with my cup of coffee in the morning!

  8. stephrogers says:

    oh the suspense! Is it tomorrow yet?

  9. Amber says:

    Wishing you luck already and will tune in tomorrow to marvel. :D

  10. mairedubhtx says:

    You can count on me, Robert. I’ll be here waiting to read your post and reblog it. Can’t wait.

  11. Chatty Owl says:

    If you will ask to donate you money so you can buy a new sports car for your in-the-future-coming-middle-life-crisis, i’ll hunt you down and punish you! Ha! But i’ll be here tomorrow.

  12. sortaginger says:

    Fine, fine, I will actually get on the internet during my free time tomorrow. Stop twisting my arm, will ya?

  13. Cathy Ulrich says:

    Hmmm. Mysterious. I’ll check in, Robert.

  14. Getting the altar ready!!! ;-)

  15. List of X says:

    Would that be a problem if I am impressed with your wit and control of English language today?

  16. I will do my best to report for duty Thursday

  17. Purnimodo says:

    Number 3 is my dad… haha the things we did when he dozed off. Poor wallpaper.. poor goldfish :D

    Tuning in tomorrow!

  18. paul says:

    I will be here tomorrow ;)

  19. MissFourEyes says:

    I’m dying of curiosity!

  20. Hmmm, something magical’s in the air…it has been a puzzlement (my neXt post will shed some light on that – which I’ll shove out today to leave space there for tomorrow for THE GREAT MYSTERIOUS EVENT sponsored by the incredible amazing Hook)
    …and we are all shifting about restlessly waiting…..
    Who could do less for someone who writes and believes ” the most noble mission in the world: being a dad that moves mountains for his family.”

  21. I couldn’t stay away if I tried…I’m hooked! ;-) See ya tomorrow!

  22. Pingback: X marks the spot. (Darn it) | Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

  23. You can count on me! I want to be glued to the WALL~

  24. :lol: I’ll definitely tune in to laugh, my friend! (I think I’ve done worse things to the cat than gluing it to the wall…)

  25. The suspense is killing me……..I’ll be there.

  26. Katie says:

    Now I’m curious!

  27. You know I will be there no debt incurred.
    My Spidey senses are tingling.

  28. Lady Lovely says:

    The mystery…the suspense!!! One more sleep, one more sleep…are we there yet?!

  29. giselzitrone says:

    Einen lieben Gruß lieber Hook ist sehr Spannend immer wieder gut zu lesen.Grüße lieb Gislinde

  30. Honie Briggs says:

    July 4th To Do List:
    Make potato salad
    Remember the bloody British
    Check out The Hook’s post
    Watch fireworks
    got it!!!

  31. Since I live north of you all, I have nothing more exciting or engaging to do tomorrow than to read your blog. You have my attention… I guess that’s why they call you the Hook

  32. I think dads deserve tons of credit, especially thoughtful ones like you. Oh, and I laughed more than once! :)

  33. Jo Bryant says:

    You are such a tease ;)

  34. Jennifer says:

    I’m intrigued, sorry Hooked. What have you got planned?

  35. dererzahlernc says:

    You see, I have such a problem with point # 2. My son is always trying to glue me to something, and sometimes the wall would be preferable.

    If I have a chance, I will definitely follow-up tomorrow to see what is going on!

  36. tteclod says:

    Reblogged this on A Life Un-Lived and commented:
    “Mothers get plenty of credit. Dads? Not so much. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that most dads are of the deadbeat variety. Far too many of my brethren tend to cut bait and skedaddle when it comers to guiding another human being through life while providing for their every need.”

    MOST DADS ARE OF THE DEADBEAT VARIETY?!?!?

    Thanks for the vote of confidence. Do some f’ing research. It took me a whole 10 minutes to get these articles and scan them for relevance. Be ashamed.

    http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/study-there-are-fewer-deadbeat-dads-2073459.html

    http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.282

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/men/fathers/black-mans-burden-myth-of-the-deadbeat/

    http://www.salon.com/2001/08/09/black_fathers/

    http://www.abs-comptech.com/~aewhale/2020_000107_baddads_trans.html

    Supporting and educating your children isn’t something for which you deserve praise. That’s your responsibility. Own it. Quit trying to be the “one good man” at the expense of other men.

    • The Hook says:

      I’ve made an alteration or two to my post which I hope will bring your blood pressure back under control, Ted. Sorry if I offended you, but we both know that wasn’t my intention.
      I hope to see you tomorrow and in the future.

  37. JackieP says:

    Well I’ve all ready did my little Canadian celebration so I will be here. Or hear, or maybe not hear, but definately here. You know what I mean Hookster! :-)

  38. I can’t wait! As always you made me giggle with your Hook wit!
    But, I may be glued to the wall before you post tomorrow :)

  39. lidipiri says:

    So you leave us with a hook, a cliffhanger… Have a feeling most will tune in. I will!

  40. Cool man, I shall await the post with baited breath! I wanted to let you know that I’m doing a number of guest posts as part of the blog tour for the release of my new book and I was wondering if you’d have me grace your hallowed blogspace with a guest post :)

    More info here if you’re interested: http://rohan7things.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/free-sex-for-all-bloggers/

    Keep well, I’d say you do plenty good as a dad, I honestly shudder when I think of that level of responsibility for another human being!! No easy task!

    Rohan.

  41. saskylouison says:

    I loved your blog! I love to write too and I always thought I was not good enough but as soon as I started to show my work to others then they all began to encourage me. Your daughter reminds me of myself. My imagination ran wild at her age and it still does so up to today… Someone introduced me to word press today… I would really appreciate it if you guys also took a look at my work… I will be publishing a post every week day.,. I hope you all like it. Thanks much in advance.

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