Two Guest Posts For The Price of One!

Hello there, humans, this is The Hook’s favorite four-legged dependent, Chelsea.2012-08-22 11.46.44

My “master” (in my experience it’s wise to humor the big guy every once in awhile.), has had one heck of a day off which I’m sure he’ll be filling you in on eventually.

Incidentally, I don’t get the whole social media thing; dogs say volumes with a series of barks or a sniff of a butt.

Hey, don’t judge me, I’ve seen some of the things you humans get up to….

 But I digress, that’s happens when you have a short attention -

Here are some of my life rules that have made me the happy, well-adjusted canine that you see today.

1)  Nap frequently. I’m useless if I don’t get my eighteen hours a day.

2)  Whenever possible, chase squirrels. We all need something to strive for. I have yet to catch one, but that’s not the point. Besides, those little furry devils are plotting something, I just haven’ figured out what yet.

3)  Don’t be afraid to eat whatever falls on the floor in front of you. Because you should never deny your palate something new.

4)  Bark, just for the heck of it. God gave you a voice for a reason, folks.

5)  Never forget to lie in the sun.

6)  Always stretch when waking up. I don’t know about you, but I’d be ashamed to get a charley horse.

7)  Remember, we were all strays until someone loved us.

8)  Never trust a cat. They make squirrels look like angels!

9)  Sometimes all it takes to console someone is to cuddle up at their feet. Admittedly, this works better for me, but you get the point, right? Sometimes all we need to heal is to know someone loves us.

10)  At least once a day, embrace your inner animal. You humans spend more time thinking than any other creature on this planet, but what has it gotten you? Most of you are miserable. Take a good look at your pets; we know the secret to life is to trust your instincts.

And now, I’m going to turn things over to one of The Hook’s favorites, Miss Becca Cord. Personally, I’m not so sure I trust a cat lover, but apparently she’s good people…

Go Home Fear, You’re Drunk

Hello Flysters, lovely to be writing a post here today. Guess what? I have a new article for The Indie Chicks that will be published on Tuesday, May 14th. It is about mistaking fate, and it is for all of us out there who are struggling to land our creative dream jobs. Please give my article some love if you get a chance to pop on over there Tuesday for a good read. I will post the link once it is live. ALSO, The Indie Chicks are having a Badass Blogger contest in which they have a Funniest Blog and Funnies Vlogger category for which you can nominate people named Becca. Hint, hint. Click here to help me dominate the contest. It’s VERY simple to nominate, but it ends May 15th. That’s next Wednesday.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

I posted a tweet last week that looked like this:

tweet about fear

Edward’s picking up what I am putting down.

This was the result of a deeply reflective moment that I had in my new residence when intrusive thoughts hijacked my brain. Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome involuntary thoughts and images that are upsetting or distressing and can be difficult to manage or eliminate. In my case, they often come in the form of irrational fears. And everyone knows that the most rational reaction to these types of thoughts is to turn to Twitter for comfort.

HOOKED YET? READ MORE HERE.

I HAVE TO ADMIT, CAT LOVER OR NOT, BECCA HAS GAME! THAT’S ALL FOR NOW, YOU TWO-LEGGED FREAKS!

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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29 Responses to Two Guest Posts For The Price of One!

  1. Jennifer says:

    There’s something wrong with the car in that picture…there’s no steering wheel. Cute dog for a chew toy, and I agree, not a cat lover either. ;-)

  2. Chelsea’s ready to go – get moving people ( and no sudden stops)
    Rule #10 is the answer for any question. Big woof of approval from Molly ( and she also likes that #7.)

  3. Smart dog, I agree never trust a cat

  4. Purnimodo says:

    Gorgeous gal.. and smart too!!

  5. Two great guests, Hook! Chelsea’s life rules for happy living are great, and I think I’m good with all of them but #2. It’s too hard for me to chase squirrels. ;-)

    • The Hook says:

      Maddie,
      The squirrel is a metaphor for whatever you desire out of life. Besides, The Hook says you’re pretty healthy so you have a good shot!
      Chelsea.

  6. Cayman Thorn says:

    Dude, you’re that guy all the other guys were friending in high school. Back when ‘friending’ was a cafeteria/locker room tribal council kinda deal. Back when the pipeline to all the hot chicas happened through the intersection of homework and YOU.

  7. “10) At least once a day, embrace your inner animal. You humans spend more time thinking than any other creature on this planet, but what has it gotten you? Most of you are miserable. Take a good look at your pets; we know the secret to life is to trust your instincts.”

    The — Fucking — Golden Rule.

  8. Katie says:

    The pooches in my life are both shocked you forgot to mention the power of canine flatulence! My boyfriend’s dog cleared out the room, yesterday.

    • The Hook says:

      Katie,
      Canine flatulence is a thorny issue for me: people are always blaming their own smells on the dog and that sucks! Kudos to your boyfriend’s dog though!
      Chelsea.

  9. mairedubhtx says:

    Ernie and Ralphy would definitely agree with Chelsea on 1, 4, 6, and 7. Ernie does trust cats (he lived with Hannah the cat for two years). Not sure how Ralphy would react to cats; not well, I suspect. I think #9 is pretty great; Ralphy is a master at foot cuddling and I love it. Great post by Becca. She’s one in a million!

  10. paul says:

    very cute dog :)

  11. Aw. We can learn so much from our pups. :) Chelsea, you are as wise as you are cute!

  12. Jeez I’m a dog! And Becca is ace!

  13. Chelsea’s rules should apply to everyone two legged and four legged, except maybe cats. I’m not into the cat thing either.

  14. Pingback: Comment Ça Va? | For You, Daddy!

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