Yes, the family is still down for the count, but I’ve had to return to the salt mines, rather than face the inevitable prospect of bankruptcy. So before we return to form, here are a few words about a blogger with a book.
If you buy one book this year – although that’s a really sad thought – buy The Bellman Chronicles.
But if you actually have money left in your literary budget, buy Don’t Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids by Leanne Shirtliffe.
Leanne Shirtliffe, unlike yours truly, has everything going for her:
- An talent agency that didn’t shoot her down. (Unlike yours truly.)
- The power, reach, and support of an actual publisher.
- Established contacts in the media.
- Breasts. (Those are awesome!)
- An endorsement from New York Times best-selling author, Elizabeth Boyle.
- Actual talent. (Although you don’t actually need talent to be a successful author these days, it doesn’t hurt.)
Don’t Lick The Minivan won’t be released until may 1, 2013, and its a safe bet that it will sell more copies than my book, and while that crushes my soul, I wish Leanne all the success in the world. Sure, I could be consumed with envy and outright anger, but then I’d just be a sad, failed writer.
I’d rather be a happy, failed writer any day of the week. While I’m feeling generous, here are a some other things I wholeheartedly endorse:
- Bacon. I was chowing down on this long before it became fashionable.
- Foreplay. Let’s face it fellas, sometimes the actual act ends a little too soon, so its nice to take your time and enjoy the ride, as they say…
- Naps. Here’s why.
- Gun eradication. Never mind gun control, let’s go back to settling disputes with swords, bows and rocks. I think you’ll see a sharp decline in crime, to say the least.
- Jo Bryant. The fact that she’s one of my biggest fans has no bearing on this endorsement whatsoever – unlike many authors, no one pays The Hook for his stamp of approval. No, I believe in Jo because she loves Supernatural, nature, pets and she’s a kick-ass fantasy writer who is going to storm the gates of the literary world someday soon. Check out her blog and make up your own mind.
And that wraps things up for now, folks. Time to get back to work and locate some blog fodder.