Yes, the family is still down for the count, but I’ve had to return to the salt mines, rather than face the inevitable prospect of bankruptcy. So before we return to form, here are a few words about a blogger with a book.
If you buy one book this year – although that’s a really sad thought – buy The Bellman Chronicles.
But if you buy two books… buy In Her Shadow by August McLaughlin.
But if you actually have money left in your literary budget, buy Don’t Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids by Leanne Shirtliffe.
Leanne Shirtliffe, unlike yours truly, has everything going for her:
- An talent agency that didn’t shoot her down. (Unlike yours truly.)
- The power, reach, and support of an actual publisher.
- Established contacts in the media.
- Breasts. (Those are awesome!)
- An endorsement from New York Times best-selling author, Elizabeth Boyle.
- Actual talent. (Although you don’t actually need talent to be a successful author these days, it doesn’t hurt.)
Don’t Lick The Minivan won’t be released until may 1, 2013, and its a safe bet that it will sell more copies than my book, and while that crushes my soul, I wish Leanne all the success in the world. Sure, I could be consumed with envy and outright anger, but then I’d just be a sad, failed writer.
I’d rather be a happy, failed writer any day of the week. While I’m feeling generous, here are a some other things I wholeheartedly endorse:
- Bacon. I was chowing down on this long before it became fashionable.
- Foreplay. Let’s face it fellas, sometimes the actual act ends a little too soon, so its nice to take your time and enjoy the ride, as they say…
- Naps. Here’s why.
- Gun eradication. Never mind gun control, let’s go back to settling disputes with swords, bows and rocks. I think you’ll see a sharp decline in crime, to say the least.
- Jo Bryant. The fact that she’s one of my biggest fans has no bearing on this endorsement whatsoever – unlike many authors, no one pays The Hook for his stamp of approval. No, I believe in Jo because she loves Supernatural, nature, pets and she’s a kick-ass fantasy writer who is going to storm the gates of the literary world someday soon. Check out her blog and make up your own mind.
And that wraps things up for now, folks. Time to get back to work and locate some blog fodder.
Be well.
I love Leanne! Her blog rocks!
Yes, it does.
I think it’s so great of you to promote other writers’ books. Hope the family is recovering!
They’re trying!
Despite my problems with the translation, I reconocrer, your blog is nominated magnífco culture.
Magníco
A hug friend.
Thank you my friend. I truly appreciate the effort.
What a nice shout out for my friend! Leanne is one of my oldest friends on WP! Take care and I hope your family is soon out of the funk…
That is my greatest wish as well, Susie!
Hmmm…I already bought your book, are you advocating I buy it twice???
Absolutely not! You’ve suffered enough!
And I appreciate your patronage,my friend.
Whoo hooo!!
Hello mudder, hello fodder! Love to check in with you – you lift my spirits. Love your idea of going back to rocks and swords and fists. But I guess Jesus would say: it’s a slippery slope. Ha ha!!!
Nice!
Not sure how I feel about living in a world where “Don’t lick the minivan” actually needs to be said…
I’ll check it out though.
I hear you loud and clear, buddy! Leanne’s work is worth your time, though.
Hope the Family gets better. Also, thanks for the heads up about books, and other blogs. Very nice of you to point them out.
The Family thanks you for your concern and good wishes, dear lady! I’m trying to radiate positivity in 2013. We’ll see how it works out…
Aaaaw! I wanted to buy Don’t Lick now! Granted, I probably wouldn’t get to it until late 2013, but I still want to buy it right. now.
Soon, young lady, soon…
Wonderful endorsements! My dad is worried that the government is going to come arrest him because he DOESN’T own a gun….and is therefore breaking his 2nd amendment rights.
Tell your dad I respect him for not owning a gun!
Will do
Yes to bacon. Yes to foreplay. Yes to naps (!) and gun eradication. I need to check this Jo Bryant out clearly
You can file a petition to have guns eradicated, fry up some bacon, have some foreplay and then take a nap!
And when you wake up, you can check out Jo Bryant!
Wow, wow, wow! I’m honoured. (I kept the “U” in just for yoU!). So sweet. May your day (and year) be filled with big tips, book deals, and foreplay…
Thank you a thousand times!
You’re welcome, of course, but you’ve earned this post – more than a thousand times over! And thank you for the wishes of big tips, book deals and foreplay; they’re all on my wish list for this year!
And I wish for health and wellness, too, my friend.
Those things rock, too.
Awwwwwwww Hook…thanks for that lovely endorsement. Though you could have put me before gun eradication. Hehehehehehehe…now in case you don’t check out your replies go back to my post: http://jobryantnz.wordpress.com/2013/01/18/small-stone-18-january-2013/
and read my reply to your comment. The little birdies have been talking to me. So glad to hear the family is on the mend. Can’t have VL flat for too long. Did you see this week’s episode. The Boys are back. And I saw photos from episode 11. Dean is dressed like Robin Hood and Charlie [one of my favourite characters] is baaaaaaaccccckkkkkk. Yippee !!!!! it is going to be a long few days til I get to see that. Almost as good as Dean in cowboy gear.
You were right where you belong, Jo! The last ep was fantastic in my opinion (Sarah didn’t care for it) and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the season holds for the Winchesters!
Me neither…next week’s looks cool.
Sorry the family is still down. Hope they are back on their feet soon. Bacon rules, and I will be frying some up for hubby tonight. … You are a kind man to share some great books, and I am off to check them out. I’m on a mission to read WP-authored books this year!
You’re a great gal, Maddie!
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Hope your family gets well really quick. I like the way you think! I’ll go check out some things now. Have a great weekend! And remember. Sending out good thoughts brings good things to you. So your turn is coming!
I sure hope you’re right!
I’ve got two out of three books mentioned, and definitely agree on 4 out of your 5 endorsements. I have yet to check Jo out… and wishing your family a speedy recovery
What do you disagree with, Jennifer?
Ok, I should re phrase it. I have no disagreements, just that I cannot comment on Jo as I have not been to see her yet. So I agree with the first 4 of your endorsements.
Spot on! Nice place you have here, Hook. I’m thinking I’m gonna have to follow you around for a while, check out the book. Cheers!
Thanks, Christine!
I LOVE Leanne!!! She is hilarious!!!
She has a unique style that always makes me smile. But you’re not so bad yourself, my friend…
Hook, your book is on my list. I currently have twenty five dollars in my checking account. When that changes soon, you’ll have an extra fifteen in yours.
No problem! I don’t want anyone to be homeless after buying my book!
Thanks for the shout out! The BELLMAN CHRONICLES has a special spot on my Kindle.
So you’re the one!
You’re so generous and sweet to promote other’s books my friend
More blessings for you and to your family as well 
Is The Bellman Chronicles available in Chapters or Coles?
I wish! Getting a bookstore to pick up your self-published work is tough! That has been the biggest hurdle I’ve faced so far, Meena.
I’m a huge fan of Jo as well. By the way, I started reading your book! Don’t give up hope Hook. Don’t!
I’m trying! I know there’s always hope. In fact, I’m waiting to hear from a morning show producer, so keep your traveling fingers crossed…