Apparently Pillow Talk is Overrated These Days...

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned; we’ve all heard that warning, right? They’ve been saying it for centuries.

So why is it, in the year 2012, so many young horny idiots are still choosing to ignore the sage words of their forebears?

Oh, right. Because they’re young, horny idiots.

At any rate, here’s the skinny on recent events in my little slice of hospitality heaven, bearing in mind that I was only present for the aftermath of this particular drama, and not  a key player, as is usually the case. However, that shouldn’t diminish your enjoyment.

THE SITUATION: Two young gentlemen arrive in my fair city to partake of its natural beauty and wonder and during their stay they encounter two young ladies of distinction and upper-class upbringing who are seeking gentleman callers callers while they embark upon their own adventure in Niagara.

Who am I kidding? Two horny gangster wannabes met two equally horny Heidi Montag wannabes (minus the Frankenstein-esque plastic surgery) and after what I can only assume was a ridiculously brief “courting” period, the four brain donors went back to the guys’ room for a bout of slap ‘n tickle. Sounds like a magical weekend in one of Canada’s most beautiful cities, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, the magic faded rather quickly, to say the least. No sooner had the “bubble burst”, so to speak, than the bubble really burst. The two young ladies were shown the door – and then shoved through it.

Needless to say, that was when the “hell hath no fury” portion of our story began.

One of the girls – drawing upon her finishing school etiquette, no doubt – grabbed one of the fire extinguishers from the hallway and decided to let ‘er rip. I’m not sure just what she was hoping to accomplish; the door was shut and the girls’ temporary suitors (very temporary, in fact!) were protected on the other side, but the hallway wasn’t so lucky…

I wish I could share the pictures with you, but take my word for it, the hall had seen better days. it looked like The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man had control issues…

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I can’t imagine the young women were expecting wine and roses when they decided to lay down (or stand up or bend over) with these schmucks, but I bet they were expecting the afterglow to last longer than a few minutes!

From what I’ve been able to gather, the two guys hustled the girls back into their clothes and threw them out the door as soon as they had served their purpose.

So much for post-coital chit chat.

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SHOUT-OUT TIME…

Benjamin Wallace is a new friend but a true one. Like Vina Kent, - and Jo Bryant before her – he’s come through with helpful tips and contacts where others have  brushed me off, in a friendly way, of course. Check his site out. He’s blazing a new trail for dumb, white husbands everywhere…

TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..

A shout-out to my blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…