Okay, so it’s quiet around here, to say the least.
Thanks, Sandy.
And you know what? An empty hotel is like an empty stomach; there’s plenty of grumbling to be heard. My fellow employees didn’t keep their feeling hidden today. No, their comments were clear and direct. Here are some of my favorites:
- “I got out of bed for this? I could be drinking right now!” (It was 7:15 a.m., by the way!)
- “This place is deader than a Steve Guttenberg convention!”
- “I think all these bankers are actually Kardashian cousins!”
- Please, someone shoot me.”
Yes, for some of my fellow working-class dogs the day started out quiet and it stayed that way. As for me, I had over two hundred bankers approach my desk and store their bags.
Seriously.
Most of them were decent and jovial. Some were hung-over and bitter. Some were concerned about getting home to their families – and money. And some were stymied by that most difficult of queries…
“HOW MANY BAGS WOULD YOU LIKE TO STORE?”
FYI: a coat counts as an item, so if you have two bags and a coat, you have three items. I honestly can’t believe how many bankers froze up when faced with this question. Their responses inspired this tweet…
The Hook @theterriblehook There is nothing more pathetic than an banker who can’t add. Except maybe an impotent porn star…
Not one of my best, but considering it was early and I was cold and still wet from the walk to work, not bad! I know many of you were hoping for some juicy dish on the bankers (oh my God I sound like Joan Rivers!), but as luck would have it, they were with us for only one day and I spent that day with the wife at home!
But if it makes you feel better, she needled me as always…
However, I did have a run-in or two with the bankers as they were leaving.
NOT JAMES BOND: (Panting) I’m with the bankers’ group and I need to store my bags..
THE HOOK: You’re about two hours behind, sir. You slept in, I take it?
NOT JAMES BOND: Yeah, uh, sort of. I was in my own room, though!
THE HOOK: (Chuckling) I believe you, sir, but I’m not the one you’re going to have to convince, right?
NOT JAMES BOND: Well, I’m single, she’s not! I mean, I’m engaged, but…
It never ceases to amaze me how much information people will share with perfect strangers, who have blogs.
THE HOOK: Enough said, sir! Here are your tags. You can get off to the conference – and practice your story.
He laughed. He didn’t tip, but he laughed. Our next banker was equally late, and equally inept at subterfuge…
DEFINITELY NOT JAMES BOND: The hotel doesn’t track this, right? I mean, they won’t tell my boss I left the room two hours later than I was supposed to, right?
You gotta love it.
TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..
A shout-out to my blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…
CHECK IT OUT!!
ONE LAST BIT OF NEWS…
Some of you have already read this, but my first foray into fiction is now available on Wattpad. If you’re not familiar with this site, it allows writers to post pieces they want to share with the world free-of-charge – feedback is the currency of choice at Wattpad – so although my story is extremely short, I’m hoping people will let me know if I’m on the right track. You can click here or scroll over the pic below…
Clicked over. Loved the line about flames/fire and his back teeth – and behind his eyes.
It’s not too short – you are trying to grab attention. And the duct tape certainly sticks to the brain and makes you wonder
I appreciate the feedback – seriously! I need positive reinforcement and constructive criticism right now. And I need to sort out my thoughts and keep writing; this story isn’t going to finish it self.. Unfortunately!
Poor Steve Guttenberg….We all forget that he made an appearance on the now cancelled show “Party Down”…I smell comeback!
So, were the bankers, like, really hairy or something? Just wondering.
No, they weren’t particularly hairy at all! They ranged from young and metro-sexual to old and beat-up!
Dude, where do you work? I’d love to just stand there and observe for a day!
I work in Niagara Falls, but my exact location must remain a secret in order to protect to not-so-innocent, a.k.a me!
Loved the Joan Rivers reference. lol. There’s something bout that woman…
Yes, there is! She picketed Costco because they wouldn’t carry her book! She’s a fighter through and through…
Haha…you can say that again. I watched her on Apprentice. There was never a dull moment with her on screen.
No, there wasn’t!
Read your snippet on Wattpad, and it’s good, your narrator engages the reader in a very few words. I would definitely encourage you to write more of the story.
One point that I would make is that the dragon is described from an adult perspective, not a child’s. The description of the fire consuming the oxygen and the wings disrupting weather patterns are adult observations–which is not a bad thing, but it does give the reader the impression that the narrator is describing the scene as an adult looking back rather than re-experiencing the moment. That gives us some distance from the scene, and implies that the narrator has had time to reflect on the events described.
Great point! I have some thinking to do…
This is why I need feedback. Thanks!
Ahhh…bankers…enough said Hook.
Indeed!
Now stop commenting and get back to devoting time to my story…hehehehehehe
As a Dad, I’m overwhelmed at the moment, but I’m on it… Promise!
Overwhelmed is the natural state of being a parent isn’t it Hook ??? Mine live two hours away and I am still overwhelmed at times…actually almost all the time.
It sounds like you had just enough fun with the bankers. LMAO at the nicknames you gave them. The world is a scary place if they can’t add.
Wattpad is giving me issues. Hope I can fix them…L.
I hope so too! Thanks for the continued support.
It IS amazing what people will share! Glad he did share it with you! ^.^
You are dead on as always hook. I am not kidding, if I can ever make a living writing, I want to own a hotel. Or, if I could own a hotel, I think I could make a living writing. The people I have met and seen there in my travels are…worth writing about.
Tim
I can’t add, maybe banking is in my future.
You would think bankers would be a bit more “put together,” wouldn’t you?
You can “get off to the conference” says The Hook. Genius. Intentional?
As a former legal person, though, I must say that I, too, might be flummoxed by your “how many bags” question. Why? Because legal folks, engineers, and bankers obsess over detail, like, and get paid for it. So, technically, a coat is not a bag. Technically, we are thinking: “Hmmm…well, I’ve got two bags and one coat, actually.” And you’re thinking: dumbass!
This is very interesting to me. And now, I won’t be the one who ever sits there, befuddled, when asked this question at a hotel! Seriously, thank you.
You’ve got great stuff here. I also agree with “it’s amazing what people will tell strangers.” It’s so true! If I had a nickel…well, I’d be rich.
Well, I’m single, she’s not! I mean, I’m engaged, but…
Dude seriously???? That actually makes me speechless…just saying.
I hear you, Princess!
What an idiot!!! It really is strange how some people share so much information with complete strangers. I doubt he had any idea you had a blog though! haha
Yeah, he was pretty clueless, Caroline!
What is wrong with Steve Guttenberg? I bet he would bring a crowd. Now, bankers— there’s a whole different breed right there. I remember the scene from “Nothing But Trouble” have you seen that? It did not have Steve Guttenberg in it, but it did have Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, Demi Moore and John Candy. In other news, I feel bad for that guy’s fiance.
Me too.
Hahahaha! Gutenberg used to stay at the hotel i worked at in Toronto! cheers!
He’s attracting a lot of attention, isn’t he? I need to write about Mahoney more often…
Isn’t it great – the things we find out about celebs when they stay at the hotel?! Little secrets.. hehehehe
I love that he thought the hotel would tell on him to his boss…
He was a character, all right!
“There is nothing more pathetic than an banker who can’t add.”
Or an accountant who can’t add…. I’ve had personal experience…!
I hear you…
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