You’ll miss out on all the fun!
Take my life for example: I deal with plenty of older folks and they never fail to amaze me with their resilience while simultaneously dismaying me with their stubbornness. I recently served an older couple (let’s call them Adam and Eve, they were that old!) who injected some sorely-needed humor into my day.
Our Front Desk seems to unintentionally place the most “weathered” guests in the tower that is farthest away from the parking area, which results in a journey akin to the one Moses led his people on lo those many years ago.
Seriously, there are times I regret not carrying a defibrillator with me as I trail behind some of these folks. The couple in question was a credit to their generation though; they made the trip without clutching their chests or hacking up a lung! I unloaded their suitcases, which appeared to be “Samsonite mark 1″s and when it came time to tip me, the fun really began…
ADAM: Here you go, Boss! (At least he was current with his lingo!) I know this is a big tip, but you earned it, pal!
I shoved the five Canadian dollars deep into my pocket as I stifled my urge to burst out laughing. Eve, however, refused to stay quiet.
EVE: Honey, that’s not a lot of money these days!
ADAM: Sure it is! Five dollars is a lot of money here in Canada, right, Boss?
I wanted no part of this battle, but life is too short to sit on the sidelines, right?
THE HOOK: Every dollar I make is appreciated, believe me. That having been said, five dollars is not a lot of money on either side of the border, sir. It used to be, you could buy a full dinner, two acres of land and a team of horses with five bucks, right?
Eve nearly passed out from the bout of laughter my comments brought on. Adam just shook his head, ate some crow and gave me another five dollars.
The perils of the generation gap became evident in my personal life as well when I sat down with my daughter for some “quality time”. For us, television provides some great moments – and conversations. In this case, the season premiere of Glee afforded me the opportunity to be one of the “cool Dads” who shares his child’s sensibilities and interests. Most fathers would kill for that opportunity.
Be careful what you wish for.
Here is a snippet of dialogue from the premiere that put me on the hot seat, to say the least. For the uninitiated, Glee is a drama about thirty-year-old high school students who dance and sing their way through life’s trials while having wild and crazy sex off-screen. Discussions concerning said sexual encounters, however, are definitely played out on-screen.
As one of the female leads laments her sadness at her girlfriend’s (Yes, there are two lesbian cheerleaders on Glee! Can you tell this is a Fox show?) departure from high school she also mentions her frustration with the limitations of cyber-sex:
BRITNEY: It’s hard making out over Skype.
After four seasons, this wasn’t enough to phase my daughter. But this was…
BRITNEY: You can’t scissor through a webcam.
I steeled myself for the inevitable question that soon followed.
MY DAUGHTER, SARAH: What did Britney mean by “scissor”?
In retrospect, my answer wasn’t enlightened or hip, but it was honest.
THE HOOK: I know, but I’m not telling you!
For those of you who aren’t as enlightened as me – meaning, if you haven’t been a teenage boy with access to porn – here is a quick primer on the term “scissor”, courtesy of Answers.com:
The term scissor, which if often used as verb (scissoring), is a sex position between lesbians. It is generally shown as two partners interlocking their legs with their heads 180 degrees apart while their vaginas are touching. In practice, the torsos of the women are often closer together, to the point of being close enough to kiss.
You’ve Been Hooked!, your home for sexual education on the ‘net…
TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..
A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…
- #GLEE Season 4 Premiere Review: “A VERY GOOD START! Who’s #TheNewRachel?” (muhsadam.wordpress.com)