As a blogger/would-be bestselling author, I find myself paying close attention to the hottest titles burning up the literary charts these days.
And of course, right now the hottest of the hot is the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Let’s face it, these “stories” are nothing more than one woman’s masturbation sessions transcribed to print and cyberspace. That having been said, all three books are selling like crazy – to say the least – simultaneously, no less!
Fifty Shades of Grey began as a Twilight fan fiction piece, but sensing its potential, the author – and “Mommy Porn” addict in question – E.L. James (her real name is Erika Leonard) decided to revamp her work and produce a tale of two horny, damaged, human lovers. From the author’s website: “When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.
Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.
Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.”
Leonard is right about one thing: millions of desperate housewives are obsessed by her work, and despite a public outcry – Grey has been removed from library shelves in four Florida counties, one Georgia county outside of Atlanta, and Gwinnett County, Georgia, as well as certain libraries in Wisconsin – millions of women have declared the series “romantic” and “beautifully-written”.
Which women, you ask? For that matter, you’re probably wondering just what this erotic fiction series has to do with a bellman’s exploits, right? Well, I’ll tell you; I’ve encountered more than one horny housewife with a copy sticking out of her bag recently and they all ask me the same thing, “Do you have a wife? Has she read this series? It touched my heart!”
I’ll say this; its not women’s hearts that are being touched by this series….
I’ve tried to avoid engaging in any prolonged conversations with my guests where this novel is concerned. Nothing good would come of that, I think. There is one irrefutable truth that I am more than willing to speak, though.
If this series had been written by a man, all hell would be breaking loose right now. Period.
When men read – or view – porn, they are labeled “vulgar”, “disgusting” and “sick” by women. But when a woman publishes her fantasies about being dominated and degraded, she is lauded by her gender and the result is a publishing phenomenon.
I was expressing this very point to a colleague recently when the phone rang at the Bell Desk. I can only assume what follows was inspired – on a subconscious level of course – by our discussion of what constitutes romance these days…
THE HOOK: Hello, Bell Desk. How may I love you?
- Tears began to well up in my colleague’s eyes.
- My face froze in an expression formed by a mixture of horror and disbelief.
- I moved the phone away from my face; terrified of the conversation that awaited me and the explanation I’d have to conjure up.
Fortunately, Fate was on my side – for once – and the voice on the other end belonged to a GSA (guest service agent) who was so engaged in an issue with an unruly couple that she honestly hadn’t heard my amorous declaration. She did, however, press the issue, so I had little choice but to come clean. She found the humor in the situation – turns out a few of the gals were discussing the Grey series that very morning – and sent me off to deal with her unruly guests and help them switch rooms.
In most hostile guest negotiations a third party will find the guest receptive to their presence. Sure enough, these folks were warm and friendly; especially the wife. As we made our way to their new suite, a certain book returned to haunt me.
CHATTY WIFE: (Holding a copy of Fifty Shades Freed) Have you heard of these books? They’re so romantic…
My lingering embarrassment disappeared and frustration set back in. It was time to put on my game face.
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!
- M&S meets S&M: Married mum Erika James who wrote erotic bestseller Fifty Shades Of Grey (thesun.co.uk)
- Brevard County Library System Pulls ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ From Shelves (inquisitr.com)
- Critics pan erotic bestseller ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ (ctv.ca)
- ’50 Shades of Grey’ Gets The ‘SNL’ Treatment (newsroom.mtv.com)