Its funny how quickly our lives can change.
Mine almost did… And not in a good way! Here’s the set-up…
I’m standing at a hatchback as a nice, well-mannered older gentleman begins to root through the very large pile of goodies tossed about his trunk. I said he was nice, not neat!
He began to lift a small black suitcase when he noticed something caught underneath…
“Watch it, buddy!” he yelled, but I failed to see the need to hit the panic button, and so I stood my ground. After a second, a plastic bag containing a bottle caught my eye so I reached for it; guests value their alcohol more than anything. Seriously.
“Buddy, watch it!” His warning appeared equally pointless, so I continued my course of action and grasped the plastic bag. Suddenly, there was a loud “snap!” and both the guest and the attending doorman shared the same horrified expression only a male could truly understand. I followed their eyes to a fishing rod protruding from the trunk. Turns out it was bent in two underneath the suitcase – until Fate decided it was time for it to be set free.
Can you guess where it was aimed?
Time stood still.
- I thought of the time I was seven-years-old and I slipped while climbing a fence. It took six stitches to put the skin between my fingers back together.
- The summer I spent with my arm in a sling crossed my mind.
- My failed Spider-Man imitation also flashed before my eyes.
- Then there was the time I… Now that I think about it, my childhood was little reckless. Who raised me, Evil Knievel? (Yes, it’s time to get thee to Wikipedia, children!)
At any rate, when I snapped back to reality I realized what all the fuss was about; I could see half the hook sticking out from the crotch of my pants but that was no bother.
It was the other half that concerned me.
The lack of stinging pain indicated I could sound the “All Clear!” alarm in my brain and so I began to embrace the humor of the situation.
THE HOOK: Sir, do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve hooked The Hook!
He didn’t get it at first, but we both laughed. Fortunately, my voice was as deep as ever….
BEFORE WE PART WAYS YET AGAIN…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!
UPDATE!
My second column is now active over at Bullet News Niagara. Read all about it here.
Oh man…truly priceless! Ha!
Yes, it sure was!
Wow! Great catch lol.
I guess it was, wasn’t it?
Funny as hell – I have many “fishing hook” stories myself. And my kids (9 and 13) know who Evil Knievel is – my younger one wants to follow in his footsteps. Uh oh.
Just tell him how Knievel’s life turned out and you should be good!
So glad the bits are all still neat and tidy…. and without pain..!
Can’t have an untidy Hook now; can we..!!
No, we couldn’t!
You got lucky. Well, I am glad you escaped with your dignity and all else in good shape.
I definitely got lucky!
I hope there was no permanent damage.
Nope, I’m all good!
It is all fun and games until someone loses an . . . .eye
Yes, I definitely have clever friends…
haha*
Glad my misfortune made you smile – and laugh!
I bet VL is pleased that all the bits are still intact…
I sure hope so!
hahaha… sorry, I know it’s not funny… but, I can just see your face (if I knew what it looked like) with that shocked/surprise/mid panic before you realise all is good… still laughing… (with 4 boys in my house I know exactly what it’s like)
I’m sure you do…
Gosh darnit that was scary! Whew! NO HOSPITAL VISIT means we got ‘off the hook’ on that one. lol! Glad you didn’t lose your bait too. lol!((((-:
I have such clever friends…
Well, that could have had a far different ending. In all fairness, he warned you.
Sort of! I had no idea just what sort of hazard I was facing!
You lucked out!!
I sure did!
Thank you for the praise, my friend!
OH DEAR, OH MY,I’m afraid I’m going to remember this story every time I see a post from “the hook”….Scarred for life,,me thank goodness, not you!
Such clever comments! Good work!
So glad it was a catch and release incident!
Clever, as always!
I couldn’t resist that one…..
I understand completely!
you have a great sense of humor! So glad the Hook didn’t get permanently hooked.
I feel that way as well!
I have not guessed, is a shame because I was lost in translating many words.
He had hooked the cane?
Regards and good day
He had hooked me!To be clear, the hook landed in the seam of my pants!
Phew !
Well said, Monkey Man!
What bait were you using? Loved it!
Apparently my “bait” was quite effective!
My my Mister the Hook…. you almost pulled a Woman!!!!! LOL!!!!!
Nice one, Woman!
PMSL!!! Glad the Hook himself was not hooked, only his uniform!
Yes, I really got lucky!
I bet you aren’t the only one who is glad you are intact
Good guess!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!! So there’s still a chance for more mini-Hooks, eh? Glad to hear it!
Yes, the legacy will continue!
Hooked! That is the best ever! I am glad that you didn’t have to “fish” it out of your privates…
Me too, Susie!
Luckily you still have the balls to tell the story! (Can’t believe I’m first with that one!)
Nice one, Val!
Does that make the man with the pole a “hooker”? Just wondering. (BTW you may not recognize me…the artist formerly known as brainvomit. You’ll have to check out my new blog when you finish unhooking yourself.)
Will do…
Close call! Hazards of your job?
Not usually…
My husband hooked our son in his face (it was part of my last post) years ago. I used to say it was the biggest fish he ever did catch…
Well said! Glad I made you smile, Tiffany…
HAHAHAHA!!! I am still laughing at that one!!!
I know, I know…
Excellent! I’ll be laughing at this one for a while now.
Glad to hear it! I’m glad this one went over so well…
“Do you REALIZE what you’ve DONE?!”
Haw haw haw… awwww… great post.
Glad my misfortune could bring a smile to the faces of my favorite couple!
our hook was on the end of the line lol but his worm was safe aww bad i know il stop now great to be here again loved the blog il stop carping on and say goodnight xxjen
Very nicely conveyed comment, Jennygoth!
Great save from a very close call, Hook! Glad you are okay!
That makes two of us!
A new meaning to flyfishing.
Hilarious!
I think everyone should practise Spidey imitations during their spare time so we won’t be caught offguard!
Good point… but safety first!
Fewf lucky you, sounds like a close call! Nice little pun on words, too.
Thanks, Caroline!
The catch of the day, fresh from the freezer. How I would love to see you imitate Spider-Man. That must have been a treat for anyone around.
You have no idea!
Ouch
You said it, Drew!
I’d love to go to the Comiccon, unfortunately it is too far away
(
I would have loved to have seen you there, my longtime friend!
I have missed your stories !! Playing catch up and also checked out your column – Brilliantly entertaining as usual. You never disappoint !!
That’s awesome to hear. Thanks!
Very funny! You were lucky though – my sister once got a fish hook in her nose and had to get it dug out at hospital! The same operation on your balls could be..hmmm. Book out yet?
I’m waiting for the first physical proof – apparently it could be awhile – but the end is in sight. Finally!
Omg.. this is hysterical! And what are the chances.. now you never need fear your name again.. it would be impossible a second time..
I hope you’re right!
hehehe…. thank GOD something left to laugh at…
There’s always something…
Well hello, The Hook!
I wanted to thank you for taking some time to visit my blog yesterday. Hope you enjoyed your stay.
This was a suspenseful little story you reeled (Sorry I couldn’t help but join the others using fishing puns). Immediately my mind went to that scene in “There’s Something About Mary” where whatever his name is, is in the bathroom and ends up with his . . . well, I’m sure you remember the movie. Anyhow, SO very glad to see this story has a comical ending and you are 100% in tact!
P.S. Next time someone says “Watch it, buddy!” I would just drop to the ground and curl into the fetal position. This will alleviate all potential issues.
Have a wonderful day!
~ Cara
Thanks for the advice, Cara!
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Living the Hook life can be dangerous…dangerous and funny. Glad you’re all right
Yep, I survived to… live another day. Yeah, that’s what I meant!
A close call! Same thing has happened to me and my kids about a thousand times (they’d say) whilst fiddling in the boot of the car.. Thank goidness I have girls.. And kids sized fishing rods. THOSE hooks are truly evil!