So a group of Romanian gypsies – I kid you not – approach my desk…
GYPSY COUGAR MOM: You can take care of our bags, yes?
THE HOOK: Certainly, how many bags do you have?
CLUELESS GYPSY DAD: Seven or eight, maybe?
How can you be clueless when it comes to the amount of luggage you own? Were the bags phasing in and out of existence?
Is there anyone still out there who doesn’t understand why The Hook is The Hook?
IN OTHER NEWS…
Some unlucky douche just got hit in the face – and pocketbook – by The Wheel of Karma!
He neglected to leave the doorman his car keys – at the height of the check-in frenzy – and so his Mercedes was eventually towed. Unfortunately, the tow operator busted his tie rod!
Karma’s a bitch, no question.
Speaking of cars, the hotel hosted a convention of high-end car salespeople who displayed some of their wares out front, complete with 24 hour security. Can’t be too careful with Aston Martins and the like, right?
Of course, salespeople excel when it comes to arrogance and contempt for the “little people”, so they were a joy to serve. Truth be told, I really wasn’t too bothered by their attitudes; turns out their company booked them in the hotel’s standard suites, which some individuals felt were “beneath them”.
It’s difficult to maintain an elitist attitude when your “premium view” is a wall or a headless bird on a ledge!
Seriously, one guest had a view consisting of a headless pigeon on the window ledge – nature can be a hotel’s greatest opponent my friends – not that they seemed to care, fortunately! I can only imagine what they did to deserve that karmic payment….
SPEAKING OF KARMA…
I can only hope this next family gets a bill from the Global Karma Agency – and soon!
I’m standing at my desk, sorting through a pile of Sunday morning calls when I spot a shocking sight; a family of Muslims eating as they walked through the lobby – with plates and silverware from the breakfast buffet!
They took their plates – piled high – to the remainder of the family (All twenty of them! Seriously!) who were spread across three cars. Other guests were aghast as they laughed and stuffed their faces. Fortunately they didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, so my fellow employees had time to hold a vote to see which lucky bastard would get to face down these schmucks.
Guess who won?
They whispered amongst themselves as I went car-to-car, collecting dirty plates and silverware. Fortunately I had an ally in a tenacious doorman who refused to buy a lame excuse like, “We brought these from home!”
Let me tell you, I got some odd looks as I made my way through the lobby carrying a pile of breakfast dishes…..
ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!