Feb. 24, 10 P.M.
A guest approaches the Bell Desk and presents an item to be placed in storage. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, right?
Wrong. So, so, wrong.
The gentleman stored a shotgun.
Yes, a shotgun. He walked through our lobby at ten o’clock on a Friday night carrying a shotgun without eliciting a reaction from anyone. Not only that, but our doorman directed the guest to one of my colleagues who simply gave him a tag and sent him on his way.
He never returned.
The worst part?
It was my day off!
Fate, thou art a fickle bitch, sometimes.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
Some dillweed thought to himself, “Hey, I’m in a hotel room so why not conduct a little experiment: let’s see the effects of releasing the contents of a fire extinguisher in an enclosed space, namely, my room! Oh, and let’s conduct this experiment at 3 A.M.”
And so he did.
Then reality set in, the fire alarm activated, the authorities arrived and the nutty professor decided the honorable thing to do was run for the hills. Unfortunately he failed to remember a few penitent details…
- Neighboring rooms heard the resulting racket emanate from his room.
- The fire extinguisher was still in his room.
- The room was in his name.
- His car was still in valet parking.
And the most important detail of all…
- He was too much of a douchebag to ever pull this experiment off in the first place.
Of course, this little episode occurred while I was tucked away in my bed and so once again, Fate denied me access to “the good stuff’”. However, I’m still able to share and so the whole sordid affair wasn’t wasted.
Oh, and two young, raunchy hookers just walked by…
HOOKER #1: (To #2) So how’d it go last night?
HOOKER #2: Lousy! He wanted me to do “you-know-what”! (Mouths words I couldn’t make out from my desk – unfortunately!)
HOOKER#1: So? I’ve seen you do that!
HOOKER #2: Yeah, sure… but not for him!
This was a subtle reminder of just how memorable my shifts are, regardless of their lack of shotgun-toting guests and mad scientists.
Maybe Fate isn’t so bad after all.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!
- Fate Toys With The Hook! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)