Feb. 24, 10 P.M.
A guest approaches the Bell Desk and presents an item to be placed in storage. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, right?
Wrong. So, so, wrong.
The gentleman stored a shotgun.
Yes, a shotgun. He walked through our lobby at ten o’clock on a Friday night carrying a shotgun without eliciting a reaction from anyone. Not only that, but our doorman directed the guest to one of my colleagues who simply gave him a tag and sent him on his way.
He never returned.
The worst part?
It was my day off!
Fate, thou art a fickle bitch, sometimes.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
Some dillweed thought to himself, “Hey, I’m in a hotel room so why not conduct a little experiment: let’s see the effects of releasing the contents of a fire extinguisher in an enclosed space, namely, my room! Oh, and let’s conduct this experiment at 3 A.M.”
And so he did.
Then reality set in, the fire alarm activated, the authorities arrived and the nutty professor decided the honorable thing to do was run for the hills. Unfortunately he failed to remember a few penitent details…
- Neighboring rooms heard the resulting racket emanate from his room.
- The fire extinguisher was still in his room.
- The room was in his name.
- His car was still in valet parking.
And the most important detail of all…
- He was too much of a douchebag to ever pull this experiment off in the first place.
Of course, this little episode occurred while I was tucked away in my bed and so once again, Fate denied me access to “the good stuff’”. However, I’m still able to share and so the whole sordid affair wasn’t wasted.
Oh, and two young, raunchy hookers just walked by…
HOOKER #1: (To #2) So how’d it go last night?
HOOKER #2: Lousy! He wanted me to do “you-know-what”! (Mouths words I couldn’t make out from my desk – unfortunately!)
HOOKER#1: So? I’ve seen you do that!
HOOKER #2: Yeah, sure… but not for him!
This was a subtle reminder of just how memorable my shifts are, regardless of their lack of shotgun-toting guests and mad scientists.
Maybe Fate isn’t so bad after all.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada
For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!
Related articles
- Fate Toys With The Hook! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
It amazes me the things people think they can just do in a hotel, sorry you missed much of it, but glad you were safe at home. Did you have a happy birthday?
I sure did!
Yes, ppl do feel like they can do anything in hotels. You don’t own the place, just staying a night, relax!
I wish they would listen to your sage counsel…
You get some odd guests.
You think?
As long as the guy with the shotgun wasn’t secretly looking for the “Hook”..
Everything went well.
Very true!
Not sure why you’re upset you weren’t there for these…
Tucked in bed sounds like the best place to be when these folks come out.
I suppose you’re right!
You were still able to tell the tale! The guy who bolted must have a screw loose. Oh hey, there is a Monday morning pun for you!
Nice one, Susie!
You should make your life into a comic book. I’d collaborate!
It’s a great plan! Maybe down the road…
It’s still sometimes amazing just how stupid people can be.
It certainly is, my Empire-lovin’ friend!!
Okay, now I’m suggesting it…you really need to start selling alcohol and hookers Hook. You know that is what most of your guests are either on or wanting to be on.
Very true, Hobbler!
Maybe the professor studies clowns? (and has been with them too long?) Where do all these people go when they aren’t checked in there? (scary thought)
I hate to think about that….
So this guy was really a professor? or simply a nut who decided to blow white foam all over the place? Thank heavens for hookers. Cheer up … soon they’re be more guns and ammo marching through the lobby (maybe on their own) to amuse the hook!
He was simply a nut – and an amateur at that!
And yes, thanks Heavens for hookers!
I see your tweetin’ too. Geez Hook, you do it all. I can barely keep up with the blogs I read.
I just started tweetin’ to help build a following for my upcoming (Hopefully0 book, The Book of Terrible!
Hopefully it pays off!
But you’re right, it’s hard to keep up a grueling blog readin’ schedule, isn’t it?
hehehe….a scientist can not choose hotel at least to perform experiments…. he was stupid one… but its good that you are safe…. hooki!
Yes, I have angels over my shoulder, don’t I?
Haha I love thinking of the thought process of the guy that pulled the fire extinguisher. What must it be like to just feel inclined to do whatever you want, whenever you want?! haha
It’s great… until reality sets in!
Wow! I think we should get a reality show going for you HOOK. I bet we could get a good viewer following on your daily tales alone. You are a hoot and your job is so befitting. Very interesting. I’m still HOOKed baby. I’m also filming, so…. Qui Films
Very cool news!
OMG…I needed the total belly laugh this one gave me this morning…thank you Hook !!!!!!!
You’re welcome, Jo!
ahhhh – terrible weekend to pick to decide I’m too busy to read my favorite blogs !
Hookers, guns……that’s it, I’m never skipping a day again!
I fully understand: I can’t keep up with my followers’ work either!
You could make it easier on us all & quit being so funny!
Now, do you really want that to happen?
God no ! Oh I forgot I’m in grown-up world… I’m a mom – no one EVER actually listens to me …
They do, sometimes….
‘Fate thou art a fickle bitch’ –
That totally made me smile. I just can’t believe the things these people do! An extinguisher… and I so love the way you write it “and he decided to do this experiment at 3 am”. You’re so funny Hook. It’s always great visiting. My life aint so bad after all!
No, it’s not! Hang in there!
LOL!!!! But just imagine how many of your co-workers feel the same way when you talk about your nights and days working???
My work is actually a big hit at work!
Wow, such timing you have! Don’t buy any lottery tickets.
Nancy
Don’t worry, I never bother with gambling!
Why, oh why, would you think that emptying a fire extinguisher was going to be a good idea? That took some brains there. You sure he was not mixing some sort of illegal substance in his room and his disguise was “scientist”
He was definitely on something!
So funny. Well the gun is a little disturbing. Thanks for a good laugh.
The gun story is disturbing, but that’s life for you!
Who got to keep the shotgun??? (Can you get it for the boys who will inevitably chase after your daughter?)
Good idea!
Sadly though, it went to the local police.
Tell me it isn’t true, you didn’t miss all that good stuff LOL
Sadly, yes it’s true. Can’t win ‘em all, right?
Nutty professor AND douchebag. Too awesome.
Very much so!
I’m sure Fire Extinguisher Guy rocks in his world
and it’s nice to see that hookers really are there for each other…
just like in Pretty Woman!
Yes, but without Richard Gere – thank God!
Wow those are two wild stories! I can’t believe they actually let a guy carry a gun into a hotel – that’s scary crap, man!
It sure is!
I love hearing about stupid people. I don’t like interacting with them much, but I like hearing about them.
It’s nice to be on the outside looking in, right?
That bit about the fire extinguisher was funny. Same thing happened when I was an RA at college. I ended up actually pulling the fire alarm because I thought the building was on fire because their was so much smoke in the hall. Your job sounds like fun.
Sometimes…
You know, I seriously don’t get how you don’t have that sitcom already. I guess it’s just a matter of your getting the book out first, eh? But this shit is gold. Seriously. I cannot wait to watch this all on a screen.
And, OOOH! Comic Con! 4.5 months till SDCC! YES!
You get to attend comic-con? You rock!
I kinda sympathise with that guy who let off the fire extinguisher. I’ve always wanted to see what happens when you do that. Now at least, he knows.
He knows he’s a dumbass!
You have such a wonderful way with words… even the simplest things sound awesome under your fingers. Hope your birthday was great, I think I missed it in here somewhere..
No problem!
Hilarious! I’m glad the gun was only stored and that you were miles away from it (even though I know you’d want to have been there)… Fire extinguisher man… duh!! Where did he run to, I wonder?? But, I think you got to hear the funniest conversation of all…”yeah, sure, but not for him!!” I wonder if she was talking about her husband??
Only if his name is “John”!
I just can’t understand why the guy did that. I mean everybody’s heard that old mantra, “it’s all fun and games until somebody pulls a fire extinguisher”.
Lol. Ah yes, the hookers. Your work is starting to remind me of my own. Strange, I know.
We’re all connected in some way, they say. Who knows?
not bothered about the fire extinguisher id rather know what the hooker was up too lol have fun hook xxjen
I’d rather not know what they were up to!
Yes you have to watch out for some of those guests Hook,
lol
as some scream all night long I have heard them on my holidays
you know? this isn’t right, that isn’t right… You know the type
only too well I think? Oh… I bet you thought that I meant something
else there? Well those types too
Have a great rest
of evening Hook
Androgoth
You too, Dark Warrior.
Now this was a hilarious post, you describe it as in the comics, liked it very much!
That’s great to hear!
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