The Hook Blows His Top!

This is The Hook with an on-the-spot, in-the-moment report!

As I’m writing away, a family of douchebags – not a single brain among the five of them – is standing in the lobby as Dad brings in item after item. They’ve refused help – angrily – and the mountain of crap is growing…

  • Duffel bags.
  • Plastic shopping bags.
  • Canvas bags. Can’t these douchenozzles afford a suitcase, just one?
  • Assorted loose pairs of shoes.
  • Cases of water.
  • Beer. Of course!
  • Two coolers.

I even ask again, and still they refuse. They walk aback and forth to the van – of course they’ve refused valet parking – and grandma and the little daughter pace nervously in the lobby as the mountain of crap continues to stretch out across the floor.

What kind of rat bastard refuses to attend to the needs of his family? In order to save $5, this moron made four trips through the hotel to the room and an additional trip to park the van! I don’t know exactly why this has angered me so, but the whole situation is so pointless.

People refuse to exercise common sense and treat their loved ones with respect. This entire family looks like a pack of pathetic losers led by an ignorant, impotent son of a bitch who chooses to stay in a full-service hotel and then bristles at the thought of a bellman.

You may think me harsh, but I see this sort of thing almost… every… day!

And no, I’m not on any sort of medication or enrolled in an anger management program! I just release as the anger builds. Thank God for blogs and books, right?

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

81 Responses to The Hook Blows His Top!

  1. mairedubhtx says:

    FINALLY I am getting your blog again so I am happy to hear things are as chaotic as ever. I’ve missed your blog since Google started dumping things in Spam and Word Press unsubscribed me. Sometimes life sucks and sometimes it doesn’t.

  2. Dave says:

    People do incredibly stupid things just to save a dollar or two. I remember a local car dealership giving away $5 just to come in and see if a key they chose would start a car they were giving away. My mother-in-law drove 20 miles across town just to collect the $5. Never mind that she probably burned more than $5 in gas getting there and back and wasted about two hours of her life but she got her $5!

  3. El Guapo says:

    On the bright side, you probably won’t be called on to help/guide/deal with these morons at all. And hopefully (except for the checkout), you won’t see them again either…

    “Thank God for blogs and books, right?”
    Until you publish something you probably shouldn’t have and can’t take it back. Scares the hell out of me!

  4. raisingdaisy says:

    As I was reading this I was thinking exactly what you said – why stay in a full service hotel if you want to save a buck and do everything yourself? Wouldn’t it be better to save MANY bucks by staying in a standard motel? And then you don’t insult the people who work there! Oh, I can see this is going to be a very interesting stay! I wonder what demands they’ll make for FREE stuff…. ;) They’ll probably collect all the trial-sized shampoos and things in the room LOL! Good luck, Hook!

  5. susielindau says:

    My first thought is it appears a larger tip would have been in order. It takes all kinds and its the outrageous ones make the best subjects of your blog posts!

  6. Fox@n says:

    I feel you Hook. Sometimes is better to give it to em.
    Great post.

  7. littlesundog says:

    Well, you’ve done it again… this is like a crazy soap opera! I’m salivating, waiting for another “in-the-moment” update to this family saga! I always boast of rarely watching TV, but I must say, I find myself checking email often, hoping for posts about the world of douchebags! AWESOME work!

  8. Caroline says:

    Some people just can’t handle the thought of not being in control. Seems like he had to do everything his way…really only to save what…$5!? Eesh..

  9. Some people are just Arseholes… Plan and simple … This man is one of them ahaha!

  10. eva626 says:

    i am also never comfortable with valet parking…lol

  11. Thank God for blogs and books, right?
    A huge amen to that!

    Up until a conversation with a man I didn’t know then was my future brother-in-law, I made it a point to do everything by myself that was capable of being done by myself. My future brother-in-law noticed this when I was trying to haul a ginormous TV out of my house by myself.

    I said, “no.” He said, roughly, “You’re just like you’re sister. No one doubts you can. But why do something awful by yourself just because you can, when there’s help around?”

    I get help now. :)

  12. I grew up with a dad (who I miss and love dearly) whose idea of a vacation was to sleep in the car in the parking lot of a hotel, and then change into our bathing suits in the stairwell to use the big fancy pool. And NO we didn’t have suitcases – we used plastic bags and sometimes paper. Don’t be mad at the kids, Hook.

    Last night we went out to dinner at a restaurant that only has valet parking. Our dog was in the car because we can’t leave him at home because he’s the alpha dog. . . Anyway, the valet attendant was fine with letting us park ourselves.

    I made my husband tip him anyway. That’s all you Hook.

    I know you are going to come visit me, so let me point you in the direction of one you might like:

    http://worrywarts-guide-to-weight-sex-and-marriage.com/2011/09/24/mr-______-age-two/

  13. PS Just so you know Mr. ______ is the greediest person who I have ever met. He sounds a lot like your guy rat ____ , and I’m probably paying for his vacation right now. Sorry! I rarely get mad, but Mr. ______ blows my top.

  14. mcqty says:

    Said douchbag would have probably insulted you even more with an unsatisfactory tip for all the help you could and would have provided them. Postive side, you had a few free moments to entertain us… guess that’s me just being selfish huh? haha :)

    Great post !!

  15. This is really a GREAT POINT: “What kind of rat bastard refuses to attend to the needs of his family? In order to save $5, this moron made four trips through the hotel to the room and an additional trip to park the van! I don’t know exactly why this has angered me so, but the whole situation is so pointless.” I will never seem to understand people, especially those who are just ignorant!!

  16. You are a far more controlled person than I, Hook! Well done for not screaming all this at “douchenozzle”.

  17. Cindy says:

    Couldn’t you smuggle laxatives into his coffee???

  18. Wow. What a cheapass. Seriously? Pairs of shoes and plastic bags??? That just reminds me of a really bad airplane trip when I was young. Me and my bros were travelling alone for the first time, I guess I was 12. My mom, ever the worrier, asked a then-nice-looking-homely woman to look over us. She was heading for the same destination. She was with her husband and three little kids. When we were done getting our luggage in and started heading towards the departure lounge, the husband hands all the kids to her and waves good bye. NOT ONLY THAT. Just wait. Apparently some relative was sitting nearby with the hand-carry ‘luggage’ and THERE WERE LIKE 3 PLASTIC BAGS FILLED WITH CRAP AND A DUFFEL BAG FILLED WITH GIGANTIC STUFFED TOYS. SHE MADE ME AND MY BROS CARRY HER STUFF AND KIDS. WE WERE SO YOUNG WE DIDNT KNOW HOW TO SAY NO. IT WAS SOOOOOO EMBARRASSING !*^%@*&%@&^%(*@&^@*(
    omg, I need to calm the f*** down. The plastic bags were filled with crap like EXTENSION WIRES AND REFRIGERATOR MAGNETS! Like you can’t get em where we were headed. God. AND HER KIDS. One was an infant, one was a toddler (both kids WITHOUT A STROLLER) and one was like 5 or something. The toddler was running around and everything. WE WERE SO MAD AT OUR MOM LATER! OMG I’M STILL PISSED THINKING ABOUT IT. We went through that terminal every goddamn year. I could have went safely with my eyes closed. CHEAP PEOPLE PISS ME OFF. *end rant*

  19. The Weekly Argus says:

    Add a screwdriver, a tarp, and a vat of bleach to that list and you basically have my basement “fun room.”

  20. You’re made of strong stuff man. I’d be a straight up, semi-functioning alcoholic if I encountered the people you do every day.

  21. giselzitrone says:

    Ja Menschen sind schlimm ich habe es auch erfahren Grüsse dich mal und mein Motto liebe heute lieber als Morgen.Wünsche einen schönen 3 Advent lieber Gruss Gislinde.

  22. Kim says:

    Pointless things anger one the most, I guess :S

  23. jakesprinter says:

    Absolutely great post hook, :)

  24. Life as Mia says:

    Gawd…. How can people be that stupid?!
    How did they not use suitcases? What the hell…

    I dont even know what to do without a suitcase.. XD

  25. sonsothunder says:

    Just don’t blow your cover..ing
    Galatians 3:28
    There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

  26. nicole says:

    i’m undecided of how i feel about this. i was a well traveled child, and my father always refused the bellman’s service just because he felt that $5 saved was $5 earned. i, on the other hand, love the royal treatment, so i accept the bellman offering to carry something as simple as my laptop case. i am a princess, an exbulimic one at that. ;)

    but i suppose when it comes down to it, i do not believe that a person should be criticised for refusing service, regardless if they’re guests at a full service hotel. full service does not mandate that one accept the full offerings of service. at least that’s my opinion. x

    • The Hook says:

      Your opinin is always welcome. Just remember this; this moron – and he was a moron, trust me – made a decision that was motivated ny greed (he had plenty of money for alcohol) not economics. He wasn’t saving money to give to his kids.
      He was saving money by making his family – including an elderly woman and young child – stand in the lobby for over twenty minutes while he mumbled and grumbled and made trip after terip up and down the elevator. A $5 tip buys peace of mind and actually tells your family you give a damn about them. It tells them you think they’re worthy of decent treatment.
      They were at the hotel to HAVE FUN, not to stand in the lobby like morons while Dad paraded around like a fool!
      Great, now I’m pissed off all over again!

  27. Tammy says:

    I love a good rant. In fact, have considered a regular rant series. Yes, this would’ve pissed me off.

  28. jlheuer says:

    Just think, if he hadn’t refused you, you wouldn’t have the time to whip out your laptop and write this post. :)

  29. hotelnerd says:

    I guess from your perspective it’s at least better that he did all that work himself instead of making you do it and then stiffing you at the end.
    I hate to say it, but this is the sort of thing my soon to be father-in-law would do while traveling. Before meeting me, my fiancee had only ordered room service a handful of times, had never used a bellman or spoken to a concierge. She’s taken to my tutelage remarkably well though. And knows how to tip properly too! This is a woman who hates driving to certain cities because she has to pay a bridge toll, but she now has zero problem tipping the bellman to help with her bags when necessary.

  30. sonsothunder says:

    I have made the stupidest decisions in my personal past… striking back at those who took advantage of me.. and, yes, I admit, had I HAD anger management classes, ( Or counseling from the right person) I probably would not be sweating the long term consequences today. But, God is in control…Thank God.
    I sure as hell wasn’t back then…LOL
    Bless You
    paul

  31. munchow says:

    Look at the bright side. If he finally had accepted your offer to help, he would probably have ended up giving you a really hard. Not worth the 50c he then would have given you. Must be frustrating to all the time having to endure stupidity and no-brainers. But makes for a fun read.

  32. eyeLaugh says:

    Yes, thank god for books and blogs to release anger – as you’ve noticed in my posts! I totally LOL’ed when you said “douchnozzle” LOL!!!

  33. My blog is used for therapy. I believe you saw my recent rant about “How Not To Ask Me For A Date”.

  34. The Hobbler says:

    Your blog always reminds me of how good I’ve got it. Sure I’m in a wheelchair and my son can’t say one sentence without the word “butt” or something that comes out of it…sure my middle schooler is failing a couple classes…sure my husband works a lot, etc., but hey, at least we don’t have to deal with that crap. ;)

  35. Sounds like they brought a partridge and a pear tree ..and all the rest, too?

  36. aydinstone says:

    Hook, have you written a book? If not, get on with it! Some great stuff here. Seriously, you’ve got something here that if you were in the UK I’d say write a radio play and send it to the BBC. Then they’d give you a tv series, you’d win awards which would attract options from Hollywood. I can see it now, a sort of 21st Century Hong Kong Fuey; a comic book secret super hero disguised as a bell boy, having lost his powers in this dimension, has to resort to commenting on the human condition. Brilliant.

    So here’s the plan:
    1. Book – part blog/diary (think of the success of Bridget Jones) part comic strip
    2. Radio play – get the proposal and script to BBC Radio 4 and start recording it for iTunes
    3. Court tv producers, comic actors with the concept

    Today WordPress, tomorrow THE WORLD!

    Forgive me if you’re already doing this…

    • The Hook says:

      The book is being edited as we speak, er, type, I mean! I’m self-publishing, so the path to success will be hard-fought, but I’ll get there sooner or later! Thanks for th encouragement; I can’t tell you what it means to me. Seriously.

  37. TBM says:

    Loose pairs of shoes and bottled water. Who packed them?

  38. mizqui says:

    Woah. I hate carrying in my own bags. I’m HOOK’ed on the cart and I LOVE TO TIP. (-;
    Oh…and yes – THANK GOD FOR BLOGS.

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