Sometimes people just have it coming.
Consider the case of the Three Not-So-Wise Men who stumbled over to the Bell Desk just as the Sunday morning check-out rush was ending. They just couldn’t wrap their three warped heads around a simple concept. To be fair, though, only one of the three did the talking.
SHORT, BALDING, PORTLY GUEST: (Handing one of The Hook’s colleagues, Rye Guy, a luggage tag) Can we have our luggages?
RYE GUY, BELLMAN EXTRODINAIRE: Are you checking out sir?
SBPG: Yeah..I mean, we’re going to the room!
RYE GUY: Would you like this delivered to the room, then?
SBPG: Nah, I can handle it!
At this point it’s important to note, as The Hook did, that the guest was under the mistaken impression Rye Guy was going to let him take his own cart to the room.
Douchebag.
So The Hook jumped in and followed Rye Guy and another fellow bellman to the Bell Room and we all came to the same conclusion; these guests needed a quick, painless education. We carried the guests’ luggage, all twelve assorted pieces of it, back out to the lobby!
SBPG: (His face contorted in exquisite confusion) I thought I could wheel it myself…
THE HOOK: Sorry, sir, but that’s why we asked if you needed it brought up to the room by a bellman.
SBPG: But..but (His friends just stood there and laughed as the gerbil in his head desperately attempted to make its way around the treadmill!)
THE HOOK: Would you like some help now, sir?
SBPG: (Still confused and barely able to speak) Nah, I’ve got it. Grab some bags guys!
And so the Three Not-So-Wise-Men wrestled with their bags and made their way down the hall and out of The Hook’s life.
Almost.
A few hours later, another bellman was looking for a cart he had stored earlier in the day and he soon realized it belonged to our three clueless guests. He had been waiting for them to call from the room, as per our instructions. The real kicker, though?
They had pre-tipped him ten dollars! So they paid for a service they later refused to accept.
Douchebags.
Related articles
- Fun With Families! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
- The Bellman is your friend (lasvegaslogue.com)
- More Sunday Morning Fun With The Hook! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
You've Been Hooked! 
If I ever own a hotel, I will name it “douchebag” in some other language.
I love it!
Is it ok to laugh at this one? Hope you and your collegues did too!
We sure did!
It seems like many guests are used to shlepping their own stuff to the rooms and have never been in an up-scale establishment before. As for me, the bellman is my fiend, even if I have one bag. He knows the way to the room and I don’t have to touch the damn bag that I’ve been shlepping through the airport and rental car or whatever. All I can say is, “Gracias.” Oop, “Merci.”
You are truly wise, my friend!
Good stuff, I don’t envy you sometimes!
Neither do I!
It did end up being earned by someone–if it didn’t actually end up in that someone’s hands! :p
Very true!
I am no longer surprised by the strange and idiotic people you encounter. How do you keep your blood pressure from going through the roof?
God knows…
Somehow I think Sir John A. with his purple head was laughing…
I think so too!
Someone got a 10 spot for not doing nothing. Sounds cool to me. I thought of The Hook when I went to look at a new office space and the liveried doorman walked me to the office and asked for the key to open up for me. I kept thinking…He’s going to think I’m a douchbag if I don’t tip… but what if I am working here do I tip everytime I see him…oh o….
Hilarious story! Don’t worry, he probably thinks everyone is a douchebag!
LOL.. That was just great 😀
Thanks!
Isn’t it the bellman’s “job” to carry your things? Isn’t that what he’s paid to do? ~boggle~
I’d so let the bellman carry my stuff. And give him a nice tip too. ^_^
You’re a great lady!
I’m a broke college kid, so I won’t be staying in any upscale establishments any time soon…
But if I did? I’d definitely refuse the bellman service based solely on the fact that I’m cheap and can’t afford the tip. That’s just me, though…
haha… I’m as broke as Eric 🙂 And my mama taught me to never bring more than I can carry comfortably…
You’re the rare exception!
I can understand being a starving student. Just remember to tip if someone does help you!
Haha I’ll sprint away refusing the help before I allow someone to do something worthy of a tip for me 😉
You’re quite a guy, Sylvester! Quite a guy indeed…
You’ll get used to it, Hook 😉
Unfortunately, that’s true!
At least their stupidity worked to your guys’ benefit, gotta love that 🙂
Yes you do!
Haha. Look at the pretty tenner! Miss it.
Me too, I don’t see it enough!
A paying douchebag. Things are looking up, eh? ! 🙂
They sure are!
hahahahaha, seems like u r having quite a fun time 😉
Sometimes, yes!
Isn’t there an old saying that goes something like “a fool and his money are easily parted”?
Appropriate quote!
If there was a “douchebag of the decade” contest, you would have to enter these guys in it. Too funny!
They’d be shoe-ins, wouldn’t they?
For all the trouble those douchebags gave you, finally in a way it paid off… More of those tipping douchebags would be nice…
xSheenax
You said it, young lady!
Sounds like that guy belonged at a motel that charges by the hour instead of at your fine establishment!
That would be a better fit for him, that’s true.
sbpg!!
lol.
You will never run out of fodder 🙂
No, I won’t!
I just love this blog! Ha..ha.. I’ve learned so much about what to do and not to do that I can apply to future trips. Ya know…if I ever get out of this damn house! Hey, who knows, I might just come spend a week there just to irritate. 😉
That would be interesting…
“the gerbil in his head”
Ha. Good one.
Is it a dumb pride thing?
“I’m man enough to carry my own luggage!”
It’s just a dumb thing!
No resting day for you, Hook 😀
Apparently not!
This is hilarious–such a man thing to want to carry the luggage on his own. 🙂 I would be very tempted to comment. At least they gave a free tip!
You’re right, at least there was a silver lining – ten of them, in fact! By the way, your blog rules!
Lucky bellman who got tipped in advance!!! Don’t worry Hook, your turn will come too.
My family always tips, even if it isnt good service…they understand that the workers aren’t getting paid much, so why not!
At least I got a post out of it!
Hospitality/customer service always results in douchebaggery. Always, always. Such a painnnn.
You said it!
Sounds like a man-pride thing. You guys know the house rules, macho,manly visitors do not. And if they are business travelors, they may be traveling way above their usual class of Hotels. It’s still a funny story.
When I worked hospitality, years back, man, the idiots and soul-sucking vampires that would sometimes show up. Once place, situated in a public waterfront park, walkers would just march into the restaurant and demand to know where the bathrooms were, as if they had a constitutional right to take a squirt in our toilets, for free, then use our toilet paper, water and soap and paper towells, then leave. As if you could knock on a strangers door by the park and pee in their house all day long. We took GREAT PLEASURE in informing these public persons that we would be happy to let them whiz in our restroom if they were a paying customer. The outrage!!! So many charged out of there belting out, threats of lawsuits for discrimination, etc. We’d chuckle with satisfaction as soon as we got rid of them. Douche heads for sure.
Awesome! Always good to meet a fellow warrior in the fight against douchebags!
I’ve never stayed in an upscale hotel but if somehow I end up in one sometime in the future, I’ll be sure to let the bellmen carry my stuff and tip them thanks to your blog haha!
Then it’s all been worth it!
Were they drunk?
Quite possibly!
Ah, another day in your life. While I don’t envy you, I enjoy your life from afar. Very far.
I don’t blame you!
This had to make your day. Not-quite-instant, but slightly-delayed karma.
Yeah, it rocked!
Thanks for holding the door and allowing me a sneak peek inside of THE HOOKS professional view. Very entertaining and ever changing indeed. Revolving doors… lol! I’m HOOKED ✓
You’re most certainly welcome, young lady!
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