Black Friday: Like Christmas for Douchebags

On a dark, cold Friday night two American cougars pull up to a  four-star brand-name hotel and request help with what they refer to as “a few things”. The bellman keeps his composure as he unloads shopping bag after shopping bag, after shopping bag. Thirty bags later, after placing an additional three suitcases on his overloaded cart, he makes his way to the ladies’ room. But he isn’t surprised.

After all, it’s Black Friday.

Widely known as the busiest shopping day of the year, it heralds the beginning of the Christmas shopping frenzy. But truthfully, it’s the one day people get to treat each other the way they want to all year round.

Namely, like animals.

Veteran store clerks will tell you they’ve seen it all – massive all night line-ups in the freezing cold, pushing and biting once they get inside (it’s true), and even store clerks that have been trampled to death!

That last part is actually true – a temporary worker hired by Wal-mart was killed by a crazed horde of Black Friday shoppers in 2008.

Of course, nothing has changed. People will risk their lives for a deal but they won’t even volunteer at a food bank or vote to determine the future of their community.

And our intrepid bellman? He received two American dollars for his trouble.

Two. Dollars.

Until next time, this is The Hook imploring you, please don’t be a douchebag.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Humor, Postaweek2011, Social Commentary, Travel and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Black Friday: Like Christmas for Douchebags

  1. roe says:

    haha they only gave 2 bucks bc they spent the rest shopping lol

  2. writernubbin says:

    only $2?? douchebags!

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